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Funny story: Vanessa Perroncel Up For French Footballer Of The Year Award

Vanessa Perroncel Up For French Footballer Of The Year Award

Lingerie model and centrepiece of the John Terry scandal, Vanessa Perroncel has been nominated by the French Football Association as a candidate for French Footballer Of The Year, despite the fact that the go getting Gallic gal has never played the b...

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Funny story: Jermain Defoe Re-Signs For Portsmouth After 'Clerical Error' By Administrators

Jermain Defoe Re-Signs For Portsmouth After 'Clerical Error' By Administrators

Former Portsmouth striker, Jermain Defoe, who currently plays for Tottenham Hotspur, has this morning been transferred back to Fratton Park due to 'a clerical error'. Defoe, currently readying himself for England's World Cup campaign in South Afri...

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Funny story: Red Knights "Lack Direction" Says Shinawatra

Red Knights "Lack Direction" Says Shinawatra

The bid by a consortiom of high rollers - known as The Red Knights - to wrest control of Manchester United FC from the clutches of the Glazers has been broadly welcomed by the vast majority of United fans, but a note of caution was sounded today by T...

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Funny story: John Terry's Mohawk To Be Fully Grown By World Cup Opening

John Terry's Mohawk To Be Fully Grown By World Cup Opening

Insiders in the Chelsea and England camps today confirmed that the Mohawk haircut sported by Chelsea skipper John Terry in the defeat to Manchester City last weekend, will be fully grown by the time the World Cup kicks off in South Africa. There w...

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Funny story: Football To Abandon Offside Rule

Football To Abandon Offside Rule

In what will be the most radical shake-up in the sport since Thierry Henry invented the legal handball, FIFA have confirmed that they intend to abolish the offside rule. The plan is to make the game a more entertaining spectacle. Rumours that Sam All...

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Funny story: Ryan Shawcross Meant It

Ryan Shawcross Meant It

Ryan Shawcross, the Stoke City hatchetman who poleaxed the Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey on Saturday, and was then selected for the England squad to face Egypt at Wembley on Wednesday, has said that "there probably is a bad bone in my body". Pot...

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Funny story: Fat Bloke To Replace Sir Alex As Manchester United Boss

Fat Bloke To Replace Sir Alex As Manchester United Boss

Manchester United are to part company with Sir Alex Ferguson. The Glazer clan have become impatient, arguing that the Premier League title has not been won this season. Ferguson is thought to have claimed that the season technically isn't over yet. S...

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Funny story: Victoria Beckham Takes Herself Out of 'World Cup' Competition with Breast Reduction!

Victoria Beckham Takes Herself Out of 'World Cup' Competition with Breast Reduction!

Victoria Beckham, the former Posh Spice Girl, is busy trying to establish a new image as a Flat Chested Business Woman in order to gain credibility with her "Brains over Boobs" campaign. The incredible inflating Posh, once described as a barely a...

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Funny story: Stamford Bridge Toppled By Wayne Bridge

Stamford Bridge Toppled By Wayne Bridge

Manchester City star Wayne Bridge humbled his namesake Stamford Bridge yesterday afternoon in his side's famous 4-2 victory which keeps the Sky Blues in fourth place in the Premier League. Bridge, the recent subject of the Terrygate Affair, rubbed...

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Funny story: Chinese bank owns 50 Premiership players' gambling debts 'worth £60m'

Chinese bank owns 50 Premiership players' gambling debts 'worth £60m'

London - (Sports Relief): At least fifty Premiership players' gambling debts worth an estimated £60 million have been bought up by the King Kong & Sham High Banking Corp. Worried Punters Anonymous sources estimate that up to 90% of England 20...

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Funny story: Portsmouth To Merge With Southampton

Portsmouth To Merge With Southampton

Crisis hit Premier club Portsmouth have announced that they plan to merge with local neighbours Southampton. The cost of maintaining two football teams on the South coast has proved too much and insiders believe that a merger is the only solution.

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Funny story: Katie Price's World Cup Hopes

Katie Price's World Cup Hopes

Katie Price has been named as the new England manager in a shock move announced earlier today at FA HQ in London. Speculation had literally reached fever pitch over who will take over the England Manager's position following Fabio Capello's being...

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Funny story: The Mother-in-Law From Hell Broke Ashley Cole

The Mother-in-Law From Hell Broke Ashley Cole

London - (Prenup Mess): Having his mother-in-law on his back and on his case 24/7 virtually killed off all Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole's nuptial manhood. Cheryl's mother Joan moved into the matrimonial home in 2008 in what must be the Premiersh...

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Funny story: Succubus whoremoans (sic) blamed in hexed Chelsea FC locker room exorcism

Succubus whoremoans (sic) blamed in hexed Chelsea FC locker room exorcism

London - (Offside Mess): Have a fiendish she-devil's pheromones cursed the brains of Chelsea Football Club players? Management was forced to call in FA 'ghostbusters' after a spectral apparition was seen in the players' steam-room. Cackling hor...

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Funny story: Bridge Pulls Out - Pity Terry Never Did

Bridge Pulls Out - Pity Terry Never Did

Wayne Bridge has pulled out! The left back says he does not want to shoot and he has opted for spilling it on the City of Manchester turf. "I don't want sloppy seconds. Ashley Cole, John Terry, all the others, they've all got stuck in before me. The...

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Funny story: BNP leader Nick Griffin claims ABE (Anyone But England) World Cup T-shirts are racist especially when worn by Germans!

BNP leader Nick Griffin claims ABE (Anyone But England) World Cup T-shirts are racist especially when worn by Germans!

ABE (Anyone But England) World Cup T-Shirts are currently the rage in Scotland, Germany, Ireland and Argentina but have caused quite a stir because they're being branded as RACIST (especially when being worn by Germans) by BNP leader, Nick griffin.

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Funny story: David Beckham In Bid For Aston Villa

David Beckham In Bid For Aston Villa

David and Victoria Beckham are thought to have made a bid for Aston Villa. The couple have been searching for a new home and Victoria was heard to ask her husband "What about a villa?' David Beckham has told close friends that he has fallen in love w...

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