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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Benitez Impersonator Arrested

Benitez Impersonator Arrested

A man was arrested on Merseyside today for impersonating the dodgy tickered, Liverpool manager. Kenny Ryan from the Pool, who looks uncannily like Rafa was attempting to board a bus near the famous Anfield ground when he got into a row about the lack...

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Funny story: Almost the reason for Liverpool's dismal season

Almost the reason for Liverpool's dismal season

The reason for the shocking performance of Liverpool FC this season had almost been discovered today. Cleaners at Bell End Community Centre in Manchester investigated "muffled" noises coming from lockers in the changing rooms. Upon closer inv...

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Funny story: Rafa Benitez Sacked

Rafa Benitez Sacked

Rafa Benitez has been sacked as manager of Liverpool FC following yet another defeat. The board took their decision immediately after the defeat tonight by Lille in the Europa league. Sammy Lee, Benitez's assistant is likely to take charge of first t...

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Funny story: Becks return to Old Trafford turned sour, Sir Alex threw the boot at him!

Becks return to Old Trafford turned sour, Sir Alex threw the boot at him!

"Golden Balls" David Beckham returned to Old Trafford and the whole blaze of publicity was turned into a rather "damp squid" after Rooney and Co spoilt his party In fact Sir Alex was so overjoyed at stuffing Beckhams present team of OAP,s, AC Mila...

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Funny story: Becks getting excited about Milan Man U. game

Becks getting excited about Milan Man U. game

Beck's is getting excited. Yes Becks is getting excited about the game with Man. U. He's been jumping up and down on his bed for ages. "Arm so excited A can 'ardly contain meself. I just 'ope A don't do sumfin' stupid when A see some of me old mates again. A don't wanna cry wiv emotion coz den A wouldn't be able to see de ball would A?" "Ar've already been told not t'do too much 'uggin...

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Funny story: Malcolm Glazer Is The Spawn Of The Devil Says Expert

Malcolm Glazer Is The Spawn Of The Devil Says Expert

As all the gory details are gradually rising to the fore regarding the Glazer family's ruthless financial exploitation of Manchester United FC, we decided that it was high time we investigated whether there was a case to answer, or whether the Manche...

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Funny story: England squad phone buggery: Capello acts

England squad phone buggery: Capello acts

London - (Offside Rule): The England coach is mad as hell: someone has recorded his entire World Cup strategy briefing on their mobile. And the bugged plot has found its way into the hands of a debt collector arm of a foreign bank whose existence...

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Funny story: Salary Cap to "destroy Premier League"

Salary Cap to "destroy Premier League"

Norwich - Radical plans to overhaul the pay of Premier League footballers were announced Monday by Chief Executive Lord Peter Scudamore. "We are committed to ensuring that: our fans get value for money; our players are paid according to what their...

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Funny story: Man United must change name say European Commission

Man United must change name say European Commission

Manchester United are being forced to make to changes to their world famous and hugely profitable brand name. The European Commission have said that the name "Man United" is too sexist and the club must henceforth call themselves (Wo)Man United.

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Funny story: Gordon Brown "Football isn't what it used to be"

Gordon Brown "Football isn't what it used to be"

Gordon Brown, the Force's sweetheart, risked his popular standing yesterday by declaring that : " Football isn't what it used to be in the 70's and early 80's." " I used to love" he explained " to stand in the terraces watching the players in t...

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Funny story: Two England Qualifiers Shirts COULD be up for Sale. Genuine articles.

Two England Qualifiers Shirts COULD be up for Sale. Genuine articles.

I have 2, as yet, unworn, England Qualifier Shirts which I am 'thinking' of putting up for Sale, Having read in the Mirror today that Owen is 'out for the season' and Fergie's 'rather peed off at Rooney, who can't say NO', I'm left wondering if I'll ever get to wear either shirt now. I usually don a jersey whilst watching the EPL, World Cup, FA Cup, Carlin cup etc. games whilst living here in Can...

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Funny story: Manchester United buy Portsmouth Football Club

Manchester United buy Portsmouth Football Club

"Play on Pompey, Pompey play on" - the famous chimes will ring out again now that the South Coast's only premiership club has been saved by an unlikely benefactor - step forward Sir Alex Ferguson's Manchester United. In a statement Man United said...

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Funny story: Lady GaGa gets goals in fact a Hatrick

Lady GaGa gets goals in fact a Hatrick

Lady Gaga took part in a woman's soccer match recently and got Ga Ga goals in fact three goals, she scored a hatrick which is probably appropriate for the person with the worlds biggest hat collection. Lady Gaga mad about hats and fish and chips w...

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Funny story: Subo sings the England World Cup song

Subo sings the England World Cup song

It had to happen didn't it? "I Dreamed a Dream" her signature ditty was made for the unwilling stars of the Daily Poop and every nightclub from the West End to deepest Essex. Essex girls don't like you subo, you take away their limelight. Subo just f...

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Funny story: Guus Hiddink Just Can't Make His Mind Up!

Guus Hiddink Just Can't Make His Mind Up!

Guus Hiddink, the former De Graafschap, PSV Eindhoven (twice), Fenerbah├že, Valencia, Holland, Real Madrid, Real Betis, South Korea, Australia and Chelsea manager who is presently the manager of Russia until his current contract expires, and who has s...

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Funny story: London Man Goes Up The Arse Twice In As Many Days

London Man Goes Up The Arse Twice In As Many Days

Londoner Sid Kent last night revealed how he went 'up the arse' twice in as many days with his wife's blessing. Going 'up the arse' is a soccer fan's way of saying that they have visited The Emirates Stadium, home of Arsenal Football Club - hence...

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Funny story: Football fans disgusted at lack of international coverage

Football fans disgusted at lack of international coverage

Frustrated England armchair football fans who lost interest in Gareth Southgate's half-time opinions of the England V Egypt friendly on ITV, turned to the internet to check out the scores of other international games but were disgusted by the lack of...

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