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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Tired United Hand Title To Chelsea

Tired United Hand Title To Chelsea

In today's early kick off at Old Trafford, Manchester United, looking lethargic after their midweek exertions in Munich, and soldiering bravely on without talismanic striker, Wayne Rooney, handed the title to Chelsea as the Londoners notched up a 2-1...

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Funny story: Ancelotti Reveals Secret Passion For Rivals

Ancelotti Reveals Secret Passion For Rivals

Chelsea boss, Carlo Ancelotti, raised eyebrows recently, revealing that he is actually a fan of his rivals. The Italian supremo was being quizzed on his tactics, for his side's upcoming title decider against Manchester United, and when asked what...

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Funny story: Kevin Keegan Withdraws From England World Cup Squad

Kevin Keegan Withdraws From England World Cup Squad

Bewildered England football fans were left scratching their heads yet again this morning following the announcement that now veteran striker Kevin Keegan has ruled himself out of the England World Cup squad. The devastating news broke this morning...

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Funny story: Messi Slighted By Wenger Insult

Messi Slighted By Wenger Insult

The scene was set, Arsenal v. Barcelona. Wenger in a press conference. Messi in attendance. Messi's scintillating form in La Liga has led to many pundits branding him the finest footballer on the planet. However, veteran gaffer Wenger, claimed th...

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Funny story: Sir Alex Ferguson promises Bayern Munich fans, "we'll pull the Bayern player's Lederhosen (Knickerbockers) down and smack their bums tonight!"

Sir Alex Ferguson promises Bayern Munich fans, "we'll pull the Bayern player's Lederhosen (Knickerbockers) down and smack their bums tonight!"

Sir Alex, ahead of tonights Preussian vs Mancurian titanic clash, has latched on to an ancient Bavarian tradition and promised the Bayern Munich fans the following: "We will pull the the Lederhosen's of the Bayern Players down and smack their bott...

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Funny story: Villa Get The Blues As United Turn The Screws

Villa Get The Blues As United Turn The Screws

Chelsea took great satisfaction on Saturday from inflicting a severe case of the Blues on a tired looking Villa team, who they battered 7-1 at Stamford Bridge, which included a four goal salvo from Frank Lampard, who still won't tell anybody whether...

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Funny story: Premier League To Re-Introduce Short Shorts

Premier League To Re-Introduce Short Shorts

Football chiefs this morning agreed to join in the drive for greater brevity in all things by re-introducing short shorts of the type worn in the 1980's by soccer stars like Glenn Hoddle and Bryan Robson. One leading Premiership manager said that...

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Funny story: Burnley Beaten By Blackburn Rovers - Fans Upbeat As Relegation Looms

Burnley Beaten By Blackburn Rovers - Fans Upbeat As Relegation Looms

Blackburn Rovers, affectionately known by fans of bitter local rivals Burnley, as "T' Bastards" emerged victorious in a fiercely contested North East Lancashire derby by a single goal at Turf Moor. Condemning the Clarets to almost certain relegati...

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Funny story: Burnley Vow To Bounce Back Bigger And Better Than Ever

Burnley Vow To Bounce Back Bigger And Better Than Ever

The lads and lasses of Burnley are facing up to Premier League relegation with a smile on their faces and a spring in their step, pleased that their club made it to the big time and gave it their best shot. It hasn't all been doom and gloom for Cl...

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Funny story: Lionel Messi Quietly Confident About Arsenal Clash

Lionel Messi Quietly Confident About Arsenal Clash

Barcelona's Argentinian goalscoring machine, Lionel Messi shrugged off a question from a British journalist regarding Barca's chances of beating Arsenal in the Champions League quarter final tie first leg at the Emirates Stadium on Tuesday night.

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Funny story: Steven Gerrard admits, "I'm a Flop" and secretly asks fellow mighty Scouser, Rooney for some tips!

Steven Gerrard admits, "I'm a Flop" and secretly asks fellow mighty Scouser, Rooney for some tips!

Liverpool stalwart, super - star and flop, Stevie Gerrard has admitted to being just what he is, a flop! After reaching the astronomical heights of being rated as one of the best mid-fielders in the world he has now, at his own admission, become a...

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Funny story: Howard Webb - I Felt Something For Darren Fletcher

Howard Webb - I Felt Something For Darren Fletcher

Howard Webb, the top Premiership referee, has talked for the first time about his astonishing HOMO-EROTIC display in the recent Manchester United v Liverpool clash when he put his manly ARMS AROUND Manchester United and Scotland defender Darren Fletc...

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Funny story: Former Running Back OJ Converted to Center In Prison, Hasn't Missed a Handoff!

Former Running Back OJ Converted to Center In Prison, Hasn't Missed a Handoff!

Reports out of Nevada's Lovelock Correctional Facility seem to confirm what everyone long suspected; America's All American Running Back, OJ Simpson, has slowed down some, and now has resorted to bending over the ball, rather than carrying it! A r...

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Funny story: Roberto Mancini to be surgically removed from his scarf

Roberto Mancini to be surgically removed from his scarf

Under pressure Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini is to undergo an operation to have his infamous woolly blue and white scarf removed from his neck before British Summer Time begins this weekend. He was clearly agitated during his side's defeat...

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Funny story: SuBo to play for Celtic

SuBo to play for Celtic

It was sensationally announced last night that Susan Boyle has joined Celtic Football Club as their new goalie. She will be known as the 'SuBoNator' and will take up the post soon. "Aye, I've been a fan for years. They needed a better goalie, so I...

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Funny story: Boy Wonder Rooney Strike Silences Spoof Writer For Good

Boy Wonder Rooney Strike Silences Spoof Writer For Good

Not only did Wayne Rooney's 30 yard ROOOOOONER cause the BBC to choose a new lead item on the 6 o'clock News in place of the demise of the government, but the goal of the millennium struck the mouth of a writer for The Spoof who has since been unable...

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Funny story: Ti Cuff Assassination Fails; Durham City wins Match

Ti Cuff Assassination Fails; Durham City wins Match

Al Qaeda extremists, The Royal Society, Durham City Footballers Fan Club and Al Gore joined forces in the greatest manhunt since that of Bin Laden. Mayhem ensued as the masked army descended on the pitch during an exhibition home match against the UK...

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