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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Arsenal Computer Glitch - Paradis is new signing

Arsenal Computer Glitch - Paradis is new signing

A red faced Arsenal spokesperson was forced to admit that a computer glitch had resulted in the somewhat surprise signing of Vanessa Paradis as an Arsenal Player, on a 4 year deal. Paradis, a one hit wonder with Joe LeTaxi and now wife of Hollywo...

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Funny story: Twins see red

Twins see red

Identical twin footballers Darren and John McNumpty have got into the footballing hall of fame but not for a reason that they would have chosen. In the Conference North match between Hide Untied and Wookieton the twins were playing for Hide Untied...

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Funny story: Portsmouth F.C. to auction FA Cup and Premier league starting places to highest bidders.

Portsmouth F.C. to auction FA Cup and Premier league starting places to highest bidders.

Cash stricken FA Cup finalists Portsmouth FC have announced via the clubs offical website that first team starting positions for the FA Cup Final against Chelsea at the nearly new Wemberly and all remaining Premier League fixtures will be auctioned o...

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Funny story: Sport Amalgamation Announced

Sport Amalgamation Announced

The top governing bodies of English Football and Cricket have got together recently to thrash out the rules to a new 'cross sport amalgamation' between their two disciplines, and emerged with the world's first new sport in over a hundred years. Pl...

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Funny story: Heartache followed by heartbreak at Hampden as huge favourites are humbled

Heartache followed by heartbreak at Hampden as huge favourites are humbled

The boys from Dingwall celebrated as the Celtic Bhoys drowned in a sea of misery and chaos. Ross County put the Hoops through the wringer as they ran rings around the Parkhead glitterati. Famous Celtic fan, Susan Boyle, squealed with 50,000 bhoys...

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Funny story: Staggies 2 Glasgow Celtic 0

Staggies 2 Glasgow Celtic 0

Speechless and frustrated, Celtic, the boys in green, trooped off the pitch at Hampden Park, Glasgow this afternoon. They have lost in the Scottish Cup semi final to Ross County. Downed 2 - 0 by a team of teuchters (please note this IS the correc...

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Funny story: Diego Maradona and Lionel Messi to record World Cup song

Diego Maradona and Lionel Messi to record World Cup song

The two greatest Argentine footballers of the last 30 years are set to record a song for the World Cup called El Futbol es Voler a Casa. Diego Maradona and Lionel Messi will be accompanied by the lead singer of top Argentine pop group Relampago S...

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Funny story: OAP with a Glaswegian accent invades pitch at Old Trafford last night in an attempt to stop the inevitable!

OAP with a Glaswegian accent invades pitch at Old Trafford last night in an attempt to stop the inevitable!

Late on in the Champions league game between Man U and Bayern Munich a ranting OAP burst through security and was seen stamping his feet, swearing in his best Glaswegian and gesticulating at the referee and his watch. He run up and down the touch...

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Funny story: Radio 5 Sport to broadcast in 3D

Radio 5 Sport to broadcast in 3D

The director of Radio 5 Sport, Ezra Pocketcash, announced today that effective immediately, the radio station is to begin broadcasting football matches in 3-D. This new service has been brought forward in time for the world cup, where a lot of te...

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Funny story: Wayne Rooney and Manchester United limp out of the Champions League

Wayne Rooney and Manchester United limp out of the Champions League

England's last hope of having a team in the semi-finals of the Champion's League for the eighth year in a row ended as Manchester United were knocked out by Bayern Munich. Europe celebrated as the English monopoly came to an end but England commis...

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Funny story: Burnley footballer missing Scotland goes to the pub at half time

Burnley footballer missing Scotland goes to the pub at half time

Kevin McDonald, incurred the wrath of his bosses at Burnley FC when he went for a pint and a half with his dad after being substituted at half time. Burnley lost the match 6-1 against Manchester City, poor Kevin lost £5000 in a fine imposed by his an...

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Funny story: World Cup in danger as "Boer" Eugene Terreblanche is "topped" by black farmers boys!

World Cup in danger as "Boer" Eugene Terreblanche is "topped" by black farmers boys!

Loveable "Boer" Eugene Terreblanche and leader of the AWB (Afrikaans White Boys party) was murdered by two black farmer boys last Saturday and this event has caused massive doubts about the World Cup being held in "Zuid Afrika"! Mr or Mijnheer Ter...

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Funny story: Carlos Tevez To Move Back To Man United

Carlos Tevez To Move Back To Man United

In one of the most stunning, not to mention, bizarre turns in the world of football, Argentinian striker Carlos Tevez announced that he was quitting Manchester City and going back to Manchester United. Tevez left United fans incensed when he left...

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Funny story: Newcastle United Could Be Denied Promotion Over Technicality

Newcastle United Could Be Denied Promotion Over Technicality

The celebrations in the Bigg Market as Newcastle United apparently bounced back into the Premier League may prove to be premature thanks to an obscure 1997 clause which could see the Magpies have 20 points deducted from their season's total, thus den...

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Funny story: Glazer Plans to Unite Teams

Glazer Plans to Unite Teams

Owner of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Manchester United sports teams, Malcolm Glazer, today announced formal plans to merge the franchises into a single entity. The scheme includes splicing in players from both Soccer and American Football to create...

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Funny story: Geordie Joy as Newcastle United return to the Premier League

Geordie Joy as Newcastle United return to the Premier League

The streets of Newcastle were tonight awash with celebrating Geordies as they saluted the Magpies return to the Premier League, the place where they belong apparently. Among the revellers were celebrity supporters including Ant and Dec, Sting, Jim...

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Funny story: Lionel Messi In Trouble With His Mum Over Bedroom

Lionel Messi In Trouble With His Mum Over Bedroom

Barcelona and Argentina star Lionel Messi returned to his family home this week to hold emergency talks with his mum over 'the state of his bedroom'. Messi, 22, went direct from training on Thursday to see his mum after she called him up and told...

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