As Sherlock Holmes walked into Mrs. McCavalry's All-Day Breakfast Rooms, he spotted his colleague Dr. Watson at the back of that cafe ordering his third plate of bacon and eggs. 'Ah, there you are', the sleuth said to that doctor, and indeed he was, 'I thought I'd find you here.' 'Have a slice of toast, Holmes, deuced delicious stuff, this.' 'No thank you, Watson, I'm on a diet.' 'What! You...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama trying to put a lid on the embarrassing "Party Crashers Gate" incident has invited the 'culprits' Tareg and Michaele Salahi to attend a White House "Beer Summit." The president has called the "BS" at the insisten...
Lakeville, CT - The infiltration by an uninvited visitor of a monthly book club meeting hosted by Adam Brooks and his wife, Melissa, has sent shockwaves through this sleepy community in upstate Connecticut and demonstrated the frailty of the sanctity...
Barack Obama has controversially said that he "loves poontang", and enjoys groupies as a perk of his job. Since becoming President of the USA, he has slept with an estimated 300 fans, many of whom follow his every move as he travels the world. On...
United States First Lady Michelle Obama admits that she is jealous of Vice President Joe Biden and his man boobs. She said in confidence to a White House staffer that "I really ought to have the biggest tits and be the biggest boob in the White Hous...
Santa Claus admitted in an interview after the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade that United States President Barack Obama will remain on the naughty list for another year. "I don't want anyone to make anything racial out of this," said that Jolly Ol...
Barack Obama was thrown into a diplomatic nightmare yesterday, when he made 'inappropriate' comments about Al Qaeda head-honcho Osama bin Laden's penis. The US president and his wife Me-Shell, had been invited to the Central American country of Pa...
United States President Barack Obama announced that the White House will set aside tradition and not have a National Christmas Tree in 2009. Obama said that he "did not wish to offend the non-Christians within the country and our Moslem allies with...
President Obama would do well to try to emulate the successes that former Australian Prime Minister Gough Whitlam had in his first 100 days of office back in 1972. He ended the draft and removed Australian troops from the unpopular war in Vietnam. He gave equal pay to women and established a free national health plan. He doubled spending on education, raised wages, pensions and unemplo...
Deadwhorse, Alaska - (UpstreamGal): Tight security surrounds a Proud-Ho Bay-registered crude tanker, the ExxonNikitaKhrushchev, which has been de-mothballed at a CIA forensic recovery site in Unalaska. The iconic 1960s carrier is the subject of in...
WASHINGTON, Nov. 25 -- In a pre-Thanksgiving ceremony at the White House this afternoon, President Obama continued a much-beloved American tradition and forgot to pardon approximately 45,999,998 turkeys. The two pardoned turkeys, Courage and an un...
To continue his impersonation of the Kennedy brothers and acting as if it's still the 1960s, Barack Obama today released his version of the classic Beatles' song 'Helter Skelter': 'When I get to the White House I go back to the travel agents Where I stop, and I take my place in the queue Til I fly off to somewhere that's sunny and new Yeah, yeah, yeah Well, do you, don't you, want me your...
Washington AC/DC - (Grateful Dead Sea Scrolls): Miniscule pollen traces on Barack Obama's birth certificate have been identified as Alaskan Matanuska Thunderfuck strains. The discovery flames an already bitter Birthers' argument that the plant mat...
BEIJING: So there he was. Barack Obama - POTUS, Leader of the Free world, Agent of Change, the Most powerful Man in the World cutting a sad and sorry figure as he took in the Great Wall of China- like a well-behaved poodle being taken for a walk b...
Daytime TV Queen Oprah Winfrey says she will soon pick a successor, and that debates among the leading contenders might be held. "As of now," Winfrey said, "Michelle Obama is my fave, mainly because she is just as compassionate and almost as famo...
Senator Bargis Tryhol of Newark NJ announced today that he intends to run in the next Presidential Election Campaign in opposition to Sarah Palin, and incumbent President Barack Obama. Having cleaned up the New Jersey Union racketeers and the NYC...
Beijing, China-President Barrack Obama inadvertently doomed any chance of health care reform after comments he made during a speech before American college students studying in China, got mangled in translation. Remarkably short for the long-winde...
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