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Funny story: Study reveals 95% of the U.S. population have already died

Study reveals 95% of the U.S. population have already died

"By the time I knew about it, it was too late." - Those are the words of Roger Ford, resident of Tuscaloosa, South Carolina, who recently participated in a study supported by the National Institute of Health about the most common causes of death in...

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Funny story: Man Caught Buying Years For Money

Man Caught Buying Years For Money

A man has been caught by police offering to buy years in exchange for money. Throughout history, vast numbers of children have fallen for the lure of such comparatively large wealth and some have sold much of their life to the man, who says that h...

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Funny story: Ohio Man Proves Not Everything Happens For a Reason

Ohio Man Proves Not Everything Happens For a Reason

Columbus resident Steve "Skip" Lomeyer briefly returned from the dead last week to inform his family that his death had no reason or moral and there was nothing to be learned from the whole event. The 68 year old Lomeyer was crossing a street...

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Funny story: Having Your Bread Buttered For You

Having Your Bread Buttered For You

People who prepare their own sandwiches from early childhood instead of relying on a pre-packed lunchbox from their parents or someone else preparing their sandwiches for them are more likely to be successful and positive in life than those who expec...

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Funny story: New study blurs future for millions

New study blurs future for millions

An exhaustive study carried out by experts from two British Universities over three years has shown that there is now only an 13% happiness difference on the Mallard-Roberts scale, comparing achievement/satisfaction/lifestyle. The respected measu...

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Funny story: Top 10 Ways To Improve Your Life

Top 10 Ways To Improve Your Life

Everybody wants to make their life a little better. We've sent out a score of interviewers, and had them talk to blokes wandering around aimlessly in front of our building, and composed a list of the top 10 ways for anyone to make their life better. * Win The Lottery * Marry A Rich Person * Get A Job * Drive A Sports Car * Eat More Oysters * Cure A Major Disease * Change Identity With S...

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Funny story: Revealed - Diet For A Happy Life

Revealed - Diet For A Happy Life

Doctor Seymour Kuntz of the University of Alabama today announced that dietary choices have a direct correlation with a state of happiness. Previous wisdom has dictated that diets are usually depressing things, reliant on such antiquated concepts...

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Funny story: Dating: Stand Up Excuses Guide. #127

Dating: Stand Up Excuses Guide. #127

"I was making you a matchstick model of the Taj Mahal as an introductory showing off gift, when I inadvertently superglued my face to the ceiling. My faithful dog, Osama, noticed my plight, and attempted to dial your number then put the phone into speakerphone mode. Sadly he transposed the last 2 digits and I ended up calling a Double Glazing call centre. For 7 hours, I pleaded for them to cal...

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Funny story: Life is not fair to men!

Life is not fair to men!

"Life isn't exactly fair to men. For instance, when we are born, our mother's get the compliments and the flowers. Then when we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity. However, when we die, our widows get the life insurance and winters in Florida. What is it exactly that women want to be liberated from?"...

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Funny story: 'Tramp' sells life for £35,000

'Tramp' sells life for £35,000

A 'traveller' living in a wet house in North London has agreed a bid of more than £35,000 after putting his "entire life" up for sale following a downturn in fortunes that saw him spiral out of control. Street drinker John Marshall,...

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Funny story: Loser's 'entire life' sold for £5

Loser's 'entire life' sold for £5

A clinically depressed Australian living in America has agreed to a bid of £5 after putting his "entire life" up for sale following a weekend-long drinking binge with friends.

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Funny story: Phoenix Earth Lander Detects No Life On The Blue Planet

Phoenix Earth Lander Detects No Life On The Blue Planet

Hades City Venus -- Disappointed scientists announced today there is no on extravenusian life on Earth. The space agency's ambitious Phoenix Earth Lander conducted several tests at the Blue Planet's equator and found the planet was sterile. T...

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Funny story: Choose your own adventure books are not a guide to life

Choose your own adventure books are not a guide to life

Scientists in Omaha, have proven beyond all doubt, that Choose Your own Adventure books are not to be taken seriously as a guide to life.

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Funny story: Life Declared a Mental Disorder by APA

Life Declared a Mental Disorder by APA

ARLINGTON, VA - As part of an initiative to streamline patient care and make it more affordable to anyone who seeks it, the American Psychiatric Association has eliminated all but one mental disorder from its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Ment...

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