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Funny story: Vatican to open luxury brothels

Vatican to open luxury brothels

Rome - Astonishing news from Vatican city today, as Monsignor Alphonse Di Vachi, head of a papal commission, looking into ways for the Vatican to maximise falling profits, startled believers and atheists alike when he announced that his new report wo...

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Funny story: Foreskin of Christ found!

Foreskin of Christ found!

Jerusalem - Amazing news from Jerusalem today as a team of Isreali archeologists from the Unviversity of Tel Aviv, sensationally confirmed that the foreskin of the infant baby Jesus, known to followers throughout the world as the "Christ" h...

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Funny story: Ratzinger and Brown launch £750m anti-homosexuality vaccination fund

Ratzinger and Brown launch £750m anti-homosexuality vaccination fund

Vatican City - (Rotters): Pope Ratzinger and UK Chancellor/wannabe Prime Monster Gordon Brown have launched a £750 million fund to vaccinate billions of children against homosexuality according to a Vatican statement issued today.

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Funny story: Holy World In A Spin As Pope Excommuincates Jade Canonises Shilpa

Holy World In A Spin As Pope Excommuincates Jade Canonises Shilpa

In an ad-hoc service hastily cobbled together by the Vatican, the Pope has sensationally made Bollywood star, Shilpa Shetty, a saint and at the same time drummed racist bully Jade, out of his gang. The Pontiff told us backstage after the gig:...

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Funny story: Vatican and Mindballs in virtual brothels joint venture

Vatican and Mindballs in virtual brothels joint venture

Science Museum, London - (Ass Mess): The Holy See has given its official blessing to a virtual brothels joint venture with the pioneering brain-wave machine manufacturers Mindballs in a move to cut veneral disease, bankrupt prostitution rackets and d...

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Funny story: Saddam death by stoning: Pope pleads for mercy

Saddam death by stoning: Pope pleads for mercy

Vatican City - (Ass Mess): Pope Joseph Ratinger has issued an official plea for Saddam's death sentence to be commuted to life imprisonment with hard labour in one of the Pontifical Office's maximum security latrines located under the city...

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Funny story: Vatican launches Xmas market best-seller Creationist video game

Vatican launches Xmas market best-seller Creationist video game

Vatican City - (Ass Mess): The Vatican is on to a winner! The Pontifical Office for Hysterical Records has launched its very own Creationist video game that has gone straight to the number one slot in the Xmas market.

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Funny story: Vatican admits 'We made the whole thing up'

Vatican admits 'We made the whole thing up'

The Pope was being interviewed by police last night after the Vatican admitted that they made the whole thing up.

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Funny story: Vatican slams pregnant teenage star of The Nativity Story

Vatican slams pregnant teenage star of The Nativity Story

Vatican City - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): It's a familiar plot: an unmarried teenage girl gets unexpectedly pregnant and is condemned by religious patriarchs as an immoral slut.

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Funny story: Vatican's Monsignor Gang-Swine threatens excommunication hex

Vatican's Monsignor Gang-Swine threatens excommunication hex

Vatican City - (Associated Mess): The whingeing and whining at satirical pokes at the Vatican has escalated this weekend to a full-blown petulant sulk.

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Funny story: Third Secret of Fatima: 'A miracle that no-one's been busted yet' gets JP1 saintly gong

Third Secret of Fatima: 'A miracle that no-one's been busted yet' gets JP1 saintly gong

Vatican City - (Associated Mess): The apocalyptical Third Secret of Fatima came tantalisingly close to fulfillment yesterday with the announcement that Pope JP1 will be canonised because the prophecy's prediction that Nazis in the Curia will '...

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Funny story: Joy as Vatican tests nuke

Joy as Vatican tests nuke

Vatican City - (Associated Mess): Amid scenes of unprecedented celebration, the Pope held a public audience in St Peter's Square today following the Vatican's universally acclaimed successful test of a nuclear warhead deep under strategicall...

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Funny story: 1-1 half-time score in Papal slanging match

1-1 half-time score in Papal slanging match

Vatican City - (Associated Mess): The "evil and inhuman things" slanging match war of words between the Pope and the Islamic world has equalised today with the half-time score standing at one all following the publication of official UK St...

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Funny story: Too much Vatican partying blamed for N Korea missile flop

Too much Vatican partying blamed for N Korea missile flop

Pyongyang - (AssoCIAted Messershmitts): In an unprecedented outburst blaming excessive Vatican drunkenness for piss-poor arms intelligence smuggling, North Korea's leader Kim Jong Very-Ill-Indeed has lambasted the JP2 Lodge's successor Josep...

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Funny story: Pope laments latest Middle East ceasefire

Pope laments latest Middle East ceasefire

Vatican City - (Associated Mess): In his weekly address to the dwindling masses of his Pontifical Fan Club, Pope Joseph Ratzinger has bemoaned the latest Middle East ceasefire as being un-biblical and called for an immediate resumption of hostilit...

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Funny story: Ratzinger's UK bagman does a runner

Ratzinger's UK bagman does a runner

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Papal Pro-Nuncio in London Joaquin Navarro-Valls has fled his Vatican-appointed Dead Sea Scrolls office following UK press reports that linked his offshore bank accounts held at the Riggs Bank, Pyongyang branch, to tw...

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Funny story: NATO ready to bust Ratzinger

NATO ready to bust Ratzinger

Vatican City - (ASS-o-CIA-ted Mess): Thousands of under-cover NATO hit-squad operatives are rumoured to be milling incognito among the crowds of St Peter's Square today as the world's most senior spooks, cops and military intelligence chiefs...

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