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Funny story: Big Bang Bustup!

Big Bang Bustup!

Scientists at Cambfordshire University have announced that they are still working on the theory of the so called 'Big Bang'. Fresh interest has been focussed on this tenuous proposition following a dangerous outbreak of common sense at a lecture given by opinionated 'expert' Dawkin Richards at the community centre in Woodtrip on the nase, Birmingdon Boffins claim that along time ago, the universe,...

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Funny story: Homeopathy works - Exclusive new evidence!

Homeopathy works - Exclusive new evidence!

For centuries the practice of homoeopathy has been ridiculed by real scientists, genuine doctors and other qualified medical practitioners on the grounds that there has never been one jot of evidence to support its efficacy. Not even a teeny weeny sp...

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Funny story: Broccoli is not a vegetable

Broccoli is not a vegetable

Fresh from the controversy over the scientific rebranding of aubergines, peppers, tomatoes and cucumbers as fruit that forced a major reshuffle in supermarkets around the country, scientists have now announced that broccoli is not a vegetable either.

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Funny story: Watched Kettle Boils

Watched Kettle Boils

Popular Scientist, Dr. Denver Colorado has been at it again and today proven that a watched kettle will actually boil. Denver, 43, from Cleethorpes University is an absolute Science boffin and loves solving things in the name of Science. I've often thought that this particular statement was a bit of old waffle but never done anything to try to prove it. I've always been a bit scared of ho...

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Funny story: Watched Pots Boil Shock

Watched Pots Boil Shock

Boffins at a top research university have exploded as a myth the received wisdom that a watched pot never boils. Scientists at the University of Thames Valley East have published their findings in the latest edition of Serious Physics Monthly. The...

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Funny story: Science Admits Evolution Theory Wrong

Science Admits Evolution Theory Wrong

Scientists at the WITSALTA convention in Denver, Colorado, U.S. of A., today agreed that the theory of evolution has been debunked (that doesn't mean kicked out of bed though). Delegates to the WITSALTA (What Is This All Stuff Leading To Anyway)...

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Funny story: Brazilian Genius Explained

Brazilian Genius Explained

Physicists have explained one of football's most spectacular goals. Brazilian Roberto Carlos's 1997 free kick against France curved so sharply that it left goalkeeper Fabian Barthez standing still and looking puzzled. Now, a study published in...

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Funny story: Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise

Carlton Hennings of the Psychological Institute of Swindon, Sussex heard the phrase "Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise" when he was very young. Being a keen analytical thinker, he decided that he would try and determine whether there was any truth in this Old Wives Tale. "From the age of nine I have followed a strict regime," said Hennings, now fifty-eight...

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Funny story: Kerry Katona Isn't Real, Say Quantum Physicists!

Kerry Katona Isn't Real, Say Quantum Physicists!

Everything we think we understand as real is merely a holographic projection. So say boffins engaged in investigating nature at its most basic levels. The latest thinking in quantum theory was revealed to the viewing public in Monday night's Ho...

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Funny story: Google Cancels Perpetual Motion Project

Google Cancels Perpetual Motion Project

Google is cancelling its highly successful Perpetual Motion Project, which yielded a functional machine capable of violating the laws of thermodynamics, and thus providing civilization with an unlimited power supply for all of time. The machine,...

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Funny story: The Onward March of Science

The Onward March of Science

VIENNA - Iran has invited Russia, China, the European Union and its allies among the Arab and developing world to tour its nuclear sites, in an apparent move to gain support ahead of a new round of talks with six world powers. The UN Security Cou...

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Funny story: Professor Norton Folgate's Theory on Wind

Professor Norton Folgate's Theory on Wind

Professor Norton Folgate has a theory about wind. And, as usual, he was only too willing to share his theory with us. As it is too much like hard work to edit what the Prof witters on about, we are, once again, printing his latest theory in full. "Wind is a funny thing really. You can feel it and you can see the effects of it, but you can't see it. Wind is a kind of energy, which is...

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Funny story: Controversy over implant to help blind people see

Controversy over implant to help blind people see

The electronic implant which has helped blind people to see is seen by most people as a marvellous leap forward, or at least thought to be a marvellous leap forward by some who haven't had it yet, but a group of religious fanatics is threatening to d...

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Funny story: Fact: New Scientific Study Proves Running 'Gets You There Quicker'

Fact: New Scientific Study Proves Running 'Gets You There Quicker'

Scientists have sensationally discovered that running 'gets you there quicker', whilst being a good cardiovascular workout. The study, undertaken at the Cambridge university, was conducted over a four year period. Funded by the taxpayer, boffins r...

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Funny story: Norton Folgate's Thoughts on the Combstion Engine and Alternative Fuels

Norton Folgate's Thoughts on the Combstion Engine and Alternative Fuels

The Latest Thoughts from the World Renowned Professor Norton Folgate: If someone invented an engine that ran on water, it wouldn't be as good an idea as they, or you, might think. Yeah it would be as cheap as chips, well cheaper seeing the fucking price of chips these days; over ten bastard quid for two fish and frigging chips, but what would happen in the summer? When we all have a hosep...

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Funny story: Norton Folgate's Theory On Trees

Norton Folgate's Theory On Trees

Professor Norton Folgate has a theory about trees. And, as usual, he was only too willing to share his theory with us. As it is too much like hard work to edit what the Prof witters on about, we are, once again, printing his latest theory in full. "Trees are everywhere. Most people think they are wonderful things. In fact there are some who go around hugging them. Can you believe th...

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Funny story: Norton Folgate's Theory on Dogs

Norton Folgate's Theory on Dogs

Today we have been discussing dogs with Professor Norton Folgate, and in particular how dogs communicate. When we say "we have been discussing" what we really mean is that Professor Folgate rambled and we furiously scribbled notes. The 'discussion' started with the Prof talking about different breeds of dogs before moving on. As usual, what follows is the undiluted transcript of Professor...

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