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Funny satire stories about Rob Pattinson

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon Share A Cozy Secret Midnight Stroll

Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon Share A Cozy Secret Midnight Stroll

SANTA BARBARA, California - Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon, who are co-starring in the film Water For Elephants, were reportedly spotted taking a cozy, secret walk in the underwear along Santa Barbara Beach. Pattinson, who is 24, is ten ye...

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Funny story: Taylor Lautner To Be Bigger Than Robert Pattinson Says Perez Hilton

Taylor Lautner To Be Bigger Than Robert Pattinson Says Perez Hilton

Overrated internet sensation Perez Hilton - who with a mere 10 million daily readers is only marginally more popular than theSpoof.com - has informed the world, that in his opinion, Taylor Lautner will become much bigger than Twilight love rival, Rob...

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Funny story: What Was Kristen Hiding With Her Hand At Twilight Eclipse Event?

What Was Kristen Hiding With Her Hand At Twilight Eclipse Event?

While all the cameras were flashing and the whole crew were available at the premier of Twilight: Eclipse, why was Kristen Stewart hiding her forehead? Immediately after the event, as Stewart had left the stage early, every reporter went out to ge...

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Funny story: Rob Pattinson + Kristen Stewart = Robsten

Rob Pattinson + Kristen Stewart = Robsten

Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart may have taken a fast track to the A-list category, but now they are really starting to get on my nerves. Rob and Kristen, or "Robsten," quite possibly achieved superstardom more quickly than any celebrity in the...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Says That Courtney Love Called Him A "Dick" Simply Because She Is A "Cunt"

Robert Pattinson Says That Courtney Love Called Him A "Dick" Simply Because She Is A "Cunt"

LOS ANGELES - One of America's 'not-so-good-looking' women Courtney Love has called one of the most popular young actors in the nation a "Dick." Love was eating a Sushi Pizza at L.A.'s The Pompous Pizza Parlor when she was asked what she thought a...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Kirstie Alley, Wynonna Judd, and Niecy Nash To Star in The Vampire Epic, "The Vampire Diet"

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Kirstie Alley, Wynonna Judd, and Niecy Nash To Star in The Vampire Epic, "The Vampire Diet"

HOLLYWOOD - Two of Tinsel Town's leading producers, brothers Amaretto and Staccato Monteverdi have joined together to film the vampire epic, The Vampire Diet. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart purchased the rights to the Alec Swishtoot penned n...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart Spotted In Japan

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart Spotted In Japan

Japanese fans find Pattinson and Stewart. You can run but you cannot hide. Realizing this, they had a prepared statement sent to all their Japanese fans and also sent to reporters. The statement is as follows: "This is Robert Pattinson. Kristen...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart Leave For Vacation In Japan

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart Leave For Vacation In Japan

After dodging reporters for several days now, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have told a group of friends to tell everyone they are headed for some 'R & R' in Japan. Alice Johns, part time actress and friend of Stewart, stated that the c...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Doesn't Try To Hide His Mistake

Robert Pattinson Doesn't Try To Hide His Mistake

According to an interview that was carried by Sunday's Special 'Vamp Parade', Kristen Stewart from the Twilight series of movies says that nothing has really changed between Robert Pattinson and herself other than 'trust' and that has changed very li...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson to Play Raoul Moat in Story of Moat's Life

Robert Pattinson to Play Raoul Moat in Story of Moat's Life

Film producers have already found a screenplay they are adapting to film about the life and times of Raoul Moat and they want Robert Pattinson to play the lead role. Pattinson has accepted, claiming he wants to work on other roles so that he's not pi...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Help The Police With Their Enquiries

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Help The Police With Their Enquiries

Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been helping The Police with their enquiries recently, writes Lettie S Beavanu, Popular Vampire Films & Police Affairs Correspondent. It all came about as recently as recently while the...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Tells Kristen Steward About Date With Ashley Greene

Robert Pattinson Tells Kristen Steward About Date With Ashley Greene

"He sure hasn't been himself", stated one guy who has been a sort of unofficial bodyguard since Pattinson was almost ran over by a taxi in New york about a year ago. "He perked up when the Eclipse Movie thing was going on but he kept looking at As...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Sell Their Vampire Sux Bar & Grill To The Dixie Chicks

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Sell Their Vampire Sux Bar & Grill To The Dixie Chicks

HOUSTON - After being the owners of The Vampire Sux Bar & Grill in Houston for only three months, Rob Pattinson and Kris Stewart have decided that the restaurant business is not for them. Pattinson said that both are just too busy with their v...

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Funny story: Twilight stars beware! Gypsy asteroid Roma to eclipse snake-in-the-grass constellation's Hand of the Snake Charmer

Twilight stars beware! Gypsy asteroid Roma to eclipse snake-in-the-grass constellation's Hand of the Snake Charmer

Space - (Rattlesnake News): Terrible karmic portents for Twilight/Eclipse stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart! A rare occultation by the asteroid Roma on the night of 8th July will completely obliterate sight of Del­ta Ophi­uchi, fourth-br...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Strikes Back At Nina Dobrev!

Robert Pattinson Strikes Back At Nina Dobrev!

After a recent article in which Nina Dobrev stated that she had the advantage over other women in playing vampire roles on television and in the movies, Robert Pattinson has struck back. "I'm not disputing what Ms. Dobrev said in the interview abo...

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Funny story: Pattinson, Stewart: No Wedding Plans Until Twilight Is Over

Pattinson, Stewart: No Wedding Plans Until Twilight Is Over

Robert Pattinson has told reporters that once the Twilight series is over and done with, he and Kristen (Stewart) will talk about any wedding plans. Pattinson stated that it was extremely difficult for them to be together anywhere while the "Twili...

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Funny story: Pattinson, Stewart & Lautner Snub Twilight Saga: Eclipse UK Premiere

Pattinson, Stewart & Lautner Snub Twilight Saga: Eclipse UK Premiere

It's finally here! The latest, reputedly the greatest, Twilight movie - Twilight Saga: Eclipse - premiered in the UK yesterday, writes Vacuous Drivel Correspondent, Lucy Lastick. Devon's Cullompton Cinema was the super-glam venue chosen by Team Tw...

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