Rumours filtering out of Buckingham Palace indicate that Prince Harry is about to give up Clubbing and Drinking to please the Queen.
* George Bush admits Iraq invasion was a pretty dumb idea.
* Joey Barton retires from soccer and becomes a UN Peace Advisor.
* The Duchess of Pork Sarah Ferguson buys Bed & Breakfast Business in Hull.
* Government announce that they have the names of every Illegal Immigrant on disc.
* Prince Harry announces that he has given up Clubbing...
The inquest into the deaths of Princess Diana and her boyfriend Dodi al-Fayed has descended into a veritable horrorshow of blood and gore, according to witnesses.
With only 38 shopping days left until Christmas, Harrod's today decided it was finally time to unveil the new range of commemorative Princess Diana Christmas wrapping papers.
London - (ReUterus & Ass mess): Chelsy Davy's decision to sell an intimate videotape sex diary of her three year fling with the Pretender's younger son Harry has sent the Queen's blood pressure boiling.
London - (Unrequited Mess): A livid Chelsy Davy has dumped the Pretender's younger brat Prince Harry because she'd fed up of people telling her that he looks like a ginger version of Bill Clinton.
LONDON - Prince Harry's girlfriend, Chelsy Davy, has split from the spoiled royal saying "he lacked a real commitment" to their relationship.
Buckingham Palace refused to comment over allegations that the police didn't interview Prince Harry about shooting wildlife but instead about him being the "Junior Royal" in the sex and drugs blackmail scandal.
London - (Orinthological Mess): Prince Harry is a right royal tosser and a threat to endangered species, Norfolk police said today.
Prince Harry and two friends are being questioned after a pair of Britain's rarest birds were culled on the Queen's Sandringham estate.
Prince Harry and South African ex-con Nelson Mandela, are locked in a war of words over a suggestion that the two may swap shirts at the end of the Rugby World Cup final in Paris at the weekend.
Rumours suggest that the 'Ginger Ninja' Price Harry is having to die his hair ginger after at outbreak of grey hair appeared on the top of his head. This has been blamed on the stress caused by being a member of the Royal family, followed aro...
London Design Museum - (Ass Mess): The top nomination for this year's Turner Prize is an exhibit called 'Dead Prince Harry' featuring the Puppet Monarchy's ginger nut, resplendent in full military dress uniform, and dead as a Dodo.
Kate and Gerry McCann, the British couple whose daughter Madeleine disappeared wile on holiday in Portugal 4 months ago and who have now become official suspects in the investigation, along with a couple of thousand other people, hav...
Botswana - (Ass mess) A spider related to the African strain of the tarantula family reportedly bit holidaying Prince Harry on the ass yesterday, and had to be put down after contracting food poisoning.
Ron Paul was appointed a Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) yesterday, receiving his insignia from the Queen at Buckingham Palace in a ceremony known as an investiture. The award is generally considered a knighthood, tho...
Sir Elton John is said to be seething about Ricky Gervais "showing him up" at the Take That gig in London's Olympia at the weekend.
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