Distressed citizens responded today to Obama's continued assault on the economic well being of the country, by sending thousands of personal S.O.S. messages back to the door step of the Out of Touch President. Obama, busy crafting a new give awa...
Moscow's harsh winter weather usually gives way to a pleasant spring, with birds singing, children playing and the trees full of blossom. However, there is a danger lurking amongst the snow and ice. It is a danger which will potentially ruin spring f...
David Dowling, of 69 Oral Sex Street, Burnley, has described in graphic detail how he passed an enormous, wet turd through his arse last Sunday night. "I had been out socialising with my Socialist friends at the Communist club on Lenin Sreet, when...
Doctors at Washington D.C.'s Joe Gibbs Memorial Hospital have said that the recent words and actions of NBC Newsman and commentator Keith Olbermann are the results of his being deprived of oxygen. These medical experts suggest that, in order to rega...
Superman is on the sick list and not able to perform any super hero tasks this week and will not return to his super hero duties until further notice. Lex Laxative his arch enemy tricked him into drinking a cup of coffee with the very strong laxat...
It seems that over the recent weeks, Cheryl Cole's reputation has moved from being the 'Perfect Pop Princess' to the 'Pitiful Poo-Problemed Pikie'. Indeed, week after week, she has been involved in some kind of 'dung debacle' or another. This week...
Police last night arrested Jack Tweed on suspicion of acts against public decency. HE was taken in by Snaresbrook Police in Essex following complaints from local residents and shopkeepers. The 22 year old widower of dead beached whale Jade 'Fat Cu...
TV's golden girl, Cheryl Cole was yesterday placed in a very embarrassing situation when she mistakenly ate a small piece of dogshit thinking it was a truffle. Girls Aloud's pop princess had been attending a fund-raining event at Battersea Dogs Ho...
Pop princess, and famed mentor of X Factor winner Joe McElderry found herself in a little pickle yesterday morning. Or perhaps more of a 'poo-ckle'? Cole was being interviewed alongside McElderry on London's LBC 97.3 Radio. Interviewer James O'Bri...
In a shocking 4am announcement tonight the Green Party have unveiled a stunning agenda to fight the next general election. They have revealed a double hit on both global warming and the economy with the startling announcement that within three ye...
A Hull man masquerading as an English teacher in the Thai capital of Bangkok found himself in a rather embarrassing predicament this week when, during a visit to a friend's home, he was forced to use the host's toilet for a Number 2 - and blocked it!...
'Angry-but-pointless' Lib-Dem leader Nick Clegg announced today that the party was to undergo a complete relaunch in keeping with aims for the general election early next year. "We in the Liberal Democrat Party always believe in echoing the views...
In a sensational and jaw-droppingly astounding moment of frightening shock and awe, The Sun newspaper today printed a truthful story. Demonic Mohican, editor of the glorified toilet paper, said "I can't apologise enough to our readers. I'm launchi...
The University of Derby has announced its intention to introduce a full-time Bachelor of Arts program in the management and distribution of horse shit, available to undergraduates from 2010 onwards. In a posting on the University's website, Vice-C...
Tissue manufacturers are becoming increasingly concerned over the spread of a fungus apparently living off tissue paper which has been found in batches of tissues and toilet paper rolls across the globe. Once the fungus gets inside the pack of tissue it starts to make the tissue its home while travelling around the world for its customer. During this time it absorbs goodness in the tissue and i...
London - Already the third largest employer in the entire world, the National Health Service plans on stretching the limits of taxpayers further by implementing a new midwifery program for constipated patients staffed with maternity room nurses. T...
Why does shit keep happening? I decided to fit one last job in yesterday (Saturday) (My 70th day without a break. I'm going for total burn-out) I put my lawnmower etc. on my trailer and set out. All's well. I'm driving along, singing my head off to a CD when I detect a noise in the background. When I look in the mirror I can see the bloke behind me flashing his lights, and then I see a pl...
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