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Funny satire stories about Old People

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Funny story: Centenarians Top UK Workforce

Centenarians Top UK Workforce

Phyllis Scrunge, a Smegmadale great-grandmother, celebrated her 100th birthday today by receiving a telegram from the Queen then going out and doing an eight hour coal heaving shift. Mrs. Scrunge, who has buried five husbands (two while still bre...

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Funny story: Indian Woman Gives Birth At 70

Indian Woman Gives Birth At 70

An Indian woman has given birth to her first child at the age of 70 after receiving IVF treatment, newspapers reported her doctor as saying Monday. Rajo Divi, who married 50 years ago, gave birth to a baby girl on November 28 after in vitro fertil...

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Funny story: Women Told They Were Too Old To Go In Bar

Women Told They Were Too Old To Go In Bar

The 15-strong group, a mixture of middle-aged women and their daughters, had enjoyed a meal together before wandering over to the Crown Bar in Leeds. As soon as they reached the doorway they were told they could only go inside if they were 35 or y...

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Funny story: Old Brain

Old Brain

NORTHFOLK ENGLAND - Brain scans of older people in a lab give backing to the idea that they could be old, researchers reported Wednesday. The finding proves a theory about one reason why old age weakens the legs and why older people have more trou...

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Funny story: Very Elderly Woman Arrested For Copyright Piracy

Very Elderly Woman Arrested For Copyright Piracy

Philadelphia PA-- Bertha Clarke, 98, was arrested yesterday for film piracy after an investigation by the FBI. The senior citizen was charged with unauthorized exhibition of a copyrighted DVD. She could receive five years in jail and a $250,000.00...

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Funny story: Granny's Gone Wild!

Granny's Gone Wild!

Twelve Grandmothers from Rustelville, Kentucky have had some classy Nude photographs taken privately and taken them to a printer's shop and ran off some 10,000 calenders to sell to the public. "They keep raising the price of our medicine and groce...

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Funny story: The 40 Year Old Virgin (+50 Years)

The 40 Year Old Virgin (+50 Years)

We've all heard that some people keep their self pure until marriage. But one Thaddeus B. Jerkwell takes that to a whole other level. Mr. Jerkwell is ninety years old. In the small town of Winchester, Kansas where everyone and their Mum's have a...

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Funny story: McCain suspends campaign for nap, bingo

McCain suspends campaign for nap, bingo

LOMBARD, IL (Friggemall Wire Services) - Republican presidential candidate John McCain surprised his staff and supporters by announcing this morning that he is temporarily suspending his campaign for three days, effectively immediately. "There wil...

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Funny story: Woman, 89, Busted for Keeping Kids' Balls

Woman, 89, Busted for Keeping Kids' Balls

Blue Tick, Ohio - An 89 year old Ohio woman faces charges of petit theft and grievous bodily harm after being arrested for keeping neighbourhood children's balls. Edna Gonads was taken into custody by Blue Tick sheriff's deputy, Barney Fife, over...

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Funny story: Strictly star Forsite lives at 80

Strictly star Forsite lives at 80

The world of light entertainment was shocked today by the announcement that veteran coffin dodger Brucie Forsite (80) was fit and well this morning and able to patronise amateur golfers at the Royal and Ancient St. Andrews pitch n' putt course for to...

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Funny story: McCain Changes Name to McCane in Bid for Elderly Voter Support

McCain Changes Name to McCane in Bid for Elderly Voter Support

Sun City, Arizona - In a desperate bid to prop up his ailing presidential campaign, Senator John McCain has changed his name to McCane. The name change follows a similar one by the Obama camp to remove Hussein as his middle name. According to Ral...

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Funny story: Freddy Mack And Fanny May Still Waiting For Their Check

Freddy Mack And Fanny May Still Waiting For Their Check

Philadelphia PA-- Freddy Mack of South Philly is still waiting for the check in the mail. Freddy, 83, and his wife Fanny May say the government promised them lots of money. They even heard their names mentioned on the news a few times. Freddy M...

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Funny story: 105-Year-Old Virgin Invites Man Around For 'A Cup Of Tea'

105-Year-Old Virgin Invites Man Around For 'A Cup Of Tea'

BRITAIN'S oldest virgin who celebrated her 105th birthday this weekend says that, despite the secret to her long life being No Sex, she had decided to invite a man around on her big day. Purple Clara Meadmore, who looks 'not a day over 102', sa...

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Funny story: Britain's Pensioners Turn To Heroin

Britain's Pensioners Turn To Heroin

Britain's pensioners are turning to hard core drugs in droves to escape the gritty reality of their useless lives in today's society, a report has today revealed. Pensioners are hounding down dealers on sink estates asking for cut price heroin and...

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Funny story: Eighty-eight-year-old grandmother wins State Lottery! "Thank you God for having such a great sense of humor," says Grandma

Eighty-eight-year-old grandmother wins State Lottery! "Thank you God for having such a great sense of humor," says Grandma

New Britain, Connecticut - Holding no animosity against God for allowing her to win one million dollars in the Connecticut state lottery in the autumn of her life, Rose Marie-Mathews, a great-great-great grandmother at 88, instead thanks him for havi...

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Funny story: Archaeologists use really old guy to date Stonehenge

Archaeologists use really old guy to date Stonehenge

Scientists have found a way to tell exactly when Stonehenge was built. For hundreds of years, this stone circle has confounded everyone. Conventional methods of pinpointing its origin using carbon dating don't work because the Ancients used rock rath...

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Funny story: McCain unveils "Computer for the Aged"

McCain unveils "Computer for the Aged"

Blackberry inventor and Republican presidential nominee John McCain today unveiled his latest invention today. Dubbed the "McCain Atomic Typographer," the device has a set of "keys" that, when pressed, causes characters to be printed on a medium, us...

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