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Funny story: US Scrambles for Zimbabwe oil

US Scrambles for Zimbabwe oil

US Navy SEALS were poised for action today as rumours of oil reserves in Zimbabwe came to light.

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Funny story: Massive Oil Reserves Found In Zimbabwe - US "peacekeeping" Forces Prepare For War

Massive Oil Reserves Found In Zimbabwe - US "peacekeeping" Forces Prepare For War

Reports coming out of Africa have indicated that a "substantial and significant" amount of oil has been discovered deep below the earth in strife torn Zimbabwe.

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Funny story: Plan to Solve Oil Crisis

Plan to Solve Oil Crisis

Shropshire, England (Scientific Human) - Speaking at the Convention of Oil Consultants (COOC) Lord Graham Gilliam revealed his plan to solve the worlds Oil Crisis. He claims to have perfected the process of "Gravity Reduction Surgery".

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Funny story: Few crude refinements at OPEC snake-oil summit

Few crude refinements at OPEC snake-oil summit

Jeddah, Saudi Arabia - (Ass Mess): Political leaders at the Organization of Petroleum Jelly Exporting Countries summit had a right laugh this afternoon.

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Funny story: McCain's Tough Talk on Energy

McCain's Tough Talk on Energy

Energy markets were rocked, and oil prices soared to a record $143.75 per barrel today following comments by John McCain in answer to why the current administration's energy policy had failed so miserably, and how his would succeed.

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Funny story: Zimbabwe Election Results In One Week Early

Zimbabwe Election Results In One Week Early

There was no repeat of the debacle in the first Zimbabwe election today, as the result of the run-off between Robert Mugabe's Zanu PF party and the opposition MDC party of Morgan Tsvangirai, was announced one week ahead of schedule. The voting, wh...

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Funny story: News file footage of a barrel of oil rolling on a conveyer proven a fake -- actually a barrel full of monkeys, says Oil Refinery as it shuts down for maintenance

News file footage of a barrel of oil rolling on a conveyer proven a fake -- actually a barrel full of monkeys, says Oil Refinery as it shuts down for maintenance

Long Beach, California - A shocking discovery was made at an oil refinery in Long Beach when oil workers opened up a barrel of crude oil for processing and discovered it was full of monkeys instead. As a result, the oil refinery had to be shutdown im...

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Funny story: Bush Calls For Offshore Drilling

Bush Calls For Offshore Drilling

President Bush today called on Congress to end a ban on offshore drilling. In a news conference at the White House, he said there was 'no excuse for delay' in lifting the ban. 'We want drilling to start again offshore', he continued, 'and for gove...

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Funny story: Dentists back Bush's offshore drilling proposals

Dentists back Bush's offshore drilling proposals

Washington DC - (Novocaine Mess): American Dentists Association members have welcomed George W Bush's call to lift a 27 year moratorium on offshore drilling.

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Funny story: Crude prices set to plummet after pre-Summer Solstice Pluto/Sun showdown

Crude prices set to plummet after pre-Summer Solstice Pluto/Sun showdown

Off-the-Wall-Street, NYC - (Crude Ass Mess): Oil prices are set to drop dramatically after Friday's 19.42GMT solar clash with Pluto, planet of immense riches, karma and vast crude stockpiles, which heralds this year's Summer Solstice on Satur...

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Funny story: Exxon To Sell All Gas Stations, Go Into War Profiteering Full Time

Exxon To Sell All Gas Stations, Go Into War Profiteering Full Time

(Hell On Earth) - In a surprise move, ExxonMobile has decided to sell all of their 2,220 gas stations in order to focus full time on war profiteering. Company spokesman Beezle A. Bub announced the move today in a hastily arranged press conference at...

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Funny story: Rural U.S. Takes Worst Hit as Gas Tops $4 Average

Rural U.S. Takes Worst Hit as Gas Tops $4 Average

Gas prices are starting to hit rural America the hardest, but the pain is not being felt uniformly. Across broad swaths of the South, Southwest and the upper Great Plains, the combination of low incomes, high gas prices and heavy dependence on pickup...

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Funny story: Oil not slavery the real cause for the Civil War

Oil not slavery the real cause for the Civil War

Historians on Tuesday discovered a missing diary belonging to a Union Officer describing the real reasons for going to war with the South.

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Funny story: Phoenix Lands on Mars, Discovers Oil

Phoenix Lands on Mars, Discovers Oil

LBJ Space Center, Houston TX: Engineers waited patiently for the telemetry signal to be received that indicated the Phoenix Mars Lander (PML) had touched down safely.

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Funny story: Markets sense massive BigOil merger as Chevron moves into former Enron HQ

Markets sense massive BigOil merger as Chevron moves into former Enron HQ

Off-the-Wall Street, NYC - (Big Ass Mess): Oil markets are ablaze with persistent reports that Chevron Oil's humongous war chest is about to swallow up Exxon-Mobil, the US No 1 oil company.

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Funny story: Oil Prices At A 30-Year Low

Oil Prices At A 30-Year Low

Governments around the world breathed a collective sigh of relief this morning when, despite the price of oil reaching a record $140 per barrel, it was officially announced by OPEC that the size of barrels is now bigger than...

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Funny story: High oil prices due to 'Magic Pixies'

High oil prices due to 'Magic Pixies'

The extraordinarily high global oil prices are the result of actions taken by Magic Pixies, Gordon Brown heard today. At a meeting with the UK's top Oil executives they explained how it wasn't their fault, Gordon Brown explained it wasn't...

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