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Funny satire stories about Murder

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Funny story: Tokyo man not guilty of drug use

Tokyo man not guilty of drug use

A local man has been found guilty of a drug induced shooting spree in Tokyo. Asoko Nakamoto was found guilty of shooting 17 people whilst under the influence of LSD, guilty of possession of the drug, but acquitted of taking it. Judge Yoshi Ka...

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Funny story: Euthanasia Available In Glasgow At £250 A Pop

Euthanasia Available In Glasgow At £250 A Pop

Given the recent controversy over assisted suicides in Switzerland, we sent an undercover team out to find out if there were similar facilities available in the UK - but cheaper. A dodgy geezer from Salford gave us a Glasgow address and informed u...

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Funny story: Euthanasia man wanted to live

Euthanasia man wanted to live

A man was killed by his family because they believed he wanted euthanasia to end his suffering. Mr Dan Kilmeov was taken by his family to a clinic Switzerland where doctors administered life-ending medicine, more commonly known as poison. It is...

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Funny story: Man Clubs Dozens Of Nilton, Alabama Residents To Death

Man Clubs Dozens Of Nilton, Alabama Residents To Death

A deranged golfer has run amuk into the middle of Nilton, Alabama, population 559, and killed everyone he saw with a Big Bertha 460 Driver according to several people who fled the Sammage Shop on Main Street. Blood and eyes and more than one mus...

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Funny story: Neighbors Not at all Shocked to Learn One of Their Own is a Serial Killer.

Neighbors Not at all Shocked to Learn One of Their Own is a Serial Killer.

Possum Creek, Alabama- The mystery of the whereabouts of several missing men was solved early Saturday morning. Repairmen from the Possum Creek Water Department found several buried bodies whilst trying to repair a busted watermain. The corpses we...

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Funny story: Shocking Study Reveals that UK Wives Want to Murder their Mothers in Law

Shocking Study Reveals that UK Wives Want to Murder their Mothers in Law

A Cambridge University study sent a chill down the spine of British Mums in law across the UK. The research revels in the fact that 60% of England's daughters in law want to arrange a hit on their husband's dear old mummy. One woman we will ca...

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Funny story: Disappointment As Hitler Still Remains In 3rd Place In History's List Of The Greatest Mass Murderers.

Disappointment As Hitler Still Remains In 3rd Place In History's List Of The Greatest Mass Murderers.

Despite many war films and documentaries about the death camps, many left wing organisations are disappointed today as Hitler still lies in 3rd place as history's greatest tyrant. Unfortunately for them, two hard-core left wing socialists called Stal...

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Funny story: US stocks fall even as brokerage firms issue kill tags and consider death for use of the word "recession"

US stocks fall even as brokerage firms issue kill tags and consider death for use of the word "recession"

US stocks dropped across the board Monday after a US banking giant announced a massive Wall Street cull with a record 250,000 broker 'kill' permits issued amid concerns of a deepening you-know-what. The firm said that it hoped to eliminate about...

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Funny story: Dead Pigs to Aid Plods Solve Murders

Dead Pigs to Aid Plods Solve Murders

Bored anoraks at Staffordshire University's Silly Science department at Stoke-on-Pork have been using dead pigs and geophysics to develop research that could help police find the buried remains of murder victims in unmarked graves faster after it was...

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Funny story: Sliced Bread Inventor found murdered

Sliced Bread Inventor found murdered

Police have named the thirteenth victim of "Judge Dead" as Dr Urnst Scourplug, the mad cap inventor of sliced bread. He died peacefully at his home whilst being hacked to death in a blood-lust attack by a mad axe-wielding killer. The killer, The Righ...

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Funny story: Halloween - Michael Myers Breaks Silence At Last

Halloween - Michael Myers Breaks Silence At Last

Today, notorious Halloween serial killer and subject of a host of Hollywood slashfest movies, Michael Myers made his first ever public announcement. Incarcerated for the most part in the Illinois Department Of Corrections Special Unit For Psychopath...

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Funny story: CSI: Floral

CSI: Floral

Police arrested a thirty-four year old florist yesterday for the apparent motiveless murder of dad of five, Wong Pace Wong Tym. "We believe we have uncovered just the tip of the iceberg," said Detective Inspector Phil Inns. "In the interview, it t...

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Funny story: Mass Annihilation of Wild Dingbat Pupils

Mass Annihilation of Wild Dingbat Pupils

Ninety percent of a graduating class at the exclusive St. Sodom the Dingbat boys school at Wallamaroo, Australia, have been wiped out in a retaliatory SWAT policing action while participating in a series of end of term 'burn and pillage' hi-jinx pran...

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Funny story: Another London teen muder - not gang related...honest!

Another London teen muder - not gang related...honest!

An innocent teenager was stabbed to death today in London who had absolutely no connection to anything whatsoever - especially not all those gangs he used to hang around with. Amacoontoo Mugsgranies from Crapsville, London was walking along the ro...

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Funny story: New Guy Ritchie Movie Rewritten to Include More Pop Star Death Scenes

New Guy Ritchie Movie Rewritten to Include More Pop Star Death Scenes

Guy Ritchie has delayed post-production on his latest movie and ordered a series of last-minute rewrites to the as-yet-untitled period drama. Industry insiders had previously praised Ritchie for his "change of direction", when it was announced tha...

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Funny story: Killer Chef Cooked Dead Boyfriend

Killer Chef Cooked Dead Boyfriend

A wannabe celebrity chef has been found guilty of porking his male lover to death, in a Viagra-fuelled drunken sex romp, with a twelve inch strap-on salami. He then compounded his crime by slicing off several choice cuts of the victim's flesh and coo...

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Funny story: Happy Days' Potsie Webber is Serial Killer

Happy Days' Potsie Webber is Serial Killer

Warren 'Potsie' Webber, the simple-witted crooner from the 1970's, hit sitcom "Happy Days is the U.S' most prolific serial killer. The Daily Scum can reveal that 'greasy' Potsie is the 'Phone-Book' Killer, who chose his victims from the phone-book...

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