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Funny satire stories about London 2012

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Funny story: Olympic Budget Slashed By Coalition

Olympic Budget Slashed By Coalition

After the smiles came the cuts. And none bigger than the cut to the Olympic budget. The new Coalition Government has wasted no time in making cuts to public expenditure. The Olympics were won at a considerable cost to the nation. Now George Osbour...

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Funny story: Sport Amalgamation Announced

Sport Amalgamation Announced

The top governing bodies of English Football and Cricket have got together recently to thrash out the rules to a new 'cross sport amalgamation' between their two disciplines, and emerged with the world's first new sport in over a hundred years. Pl...

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Funny story: Gary Neville joins team GB 2012 plus other football lies

Gary Neville joins team GB 2012 plus other football lies

After all the shocks of the past week, it should come as no surprise the announcement that Gary Neville has joined team GB for London 2012. After Alex Ferguson's appraisal of his pace,saying he's faster than French winger, Franc Ribery. Athletics off...

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Funny story: Whisky a bojo, an East End eyeful with views to cry over

Whisky a bojo, an East End eyeful with views to cry over

If you are one of the many having difficulty paying a mortgage, do not read on. Maybe you are unemployed or forced into a job that bores you to tears and are only getting £3.55 an hour for the privilege? Please read no further, this is a health warning. Maybe you enjoy being unemployed in the UK today and live from hand to mouth? Then you shouldn't read on and go find yourself a job instead at the...

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Funny story: Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Has Younger Sister Anita Phuque Who Wants To Compete In 2012 London Olympic Pole Vaulting

Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque Has Younger Sister Anita Phuque Who Wants To Compete In 2012 London Olympic Pole Vaulting

Swedish Olympic Team Skater Ivana Phuque has been the most popular athlete at the Vancouver Winter Games. The vivacious and outgoing blonde has captivated audiences with her bottomless skating and braless jumping. A visit with the competitor's fami...

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Funny story: Calais - Now A London Suburb

Calais - Now A London Suburb

Outrage in London this afternoon as the French port of Calais trumpeted a marketing ploy aimed at the 2012 Olympic Games and naming itself as an ideal base for Olympic spectators and competitors during the games. Mayor of Calais, David Dubonnet, t...

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Funny story: Dealers prepare for 2012 games with tender process

Dealers prepare for 2012 games with tender process

London's drug dealers are 'gearing' up for the London Games by entering the tendering process for the lucrative contract to be the official narcotics supplier to the 2012 games. The games organiser, the ODA, today posted an electronic tender via...

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Funny story: New Olympic Sport Announced

New Olympic Sport Announced

A new Olympic sport has been announced that is set to debut at London 2012. 'Jumping on the Bandwagon' will be open only to established politicians, although officials are believed to be considering an exception for Simon Cowell and Katie Price.

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Funny story: London Olympic bridge costs 300 million quid and unemployed Brits will castrate Lord Seb Coe if they can catch him!

London Olympic bridge costs 300 million quid and unemployed Brits will castrate Lord Seb Coe if they can catch him!

The London Olympics is financial MADNESS, OK, but now they've really gone ballistic! A bridge ajoning the Aquatic centre and the main stadium will cost the slight sum of 300 MILLION QUID of taxpayers money, just the bridge by the way. Lord Seba...

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Funny story: Musharraf wants 'stone-throwing' and running with 'bum bombs' as an event at London 2012

Musharraf wants 'stone-throwing' and running with 'bum bombs' as an event at London 2012

ISLAMABAD - PAKISTAN: Musharraf is unhappy with the selection of individual events for London 2012. The ex-President-Army Chief-teller of tall tales who is on a 'lecture tour' (aka hiding from the law) in the UK, ran out of ideas on how to win the wa...

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Funny story: South African Runner Crowned Hermaphrodite 800m World Champion

South African Runner Crowned Hermaphrodite 800m World Champion

South Africa's 800m world champion Caster Semenya has undergone gender tests that have concluded the 18-year-old is a Hermaphrodite, and has all the best qualities of both sexes, it has been revealed. The tests were undertaken just hours before s...

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Funny story: Women's Boxing 'Guarantees GB Medal Success'

Women's Boxing 'Guarantees GB Medal Success'

The chair of British Boxing, Sir Tim Gitt, yesterday praised the decision to include women's boxing in London 2012 as,"a great opportunity for Team GB." "We are guaranteed to top the medal tables in 2012 because we have the best female pugilists i...

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Funny story: London 2012 Olympics Doomed

London 2012 Olympics Doomed

The Olympic Games scheduled for London on July 2012 will not take place according to scientist Ann Unaki. At a press conference in London she explained that NASA has discovered a large mass a planet the size of Jupiter heading our way it is plane...

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Funny story: London To Host 2010 Wife Carrying

London To Host 2010 Wife Carrying

London has been chosen to host the 2010 International Wife Carrying event. After this year's event in Helsinki finished the IOC announced that London had defeated Paris, Moscow, Athens, LA and Dudley in the bid to host the event. "Naturally we ar...

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Funny story: Water-boarding becomes 2012 event

Water-boarding becomes 2012 event

The world was shocked today at the announcement that the torture method of "water boarding" would indeed become an event for the 2012 games. In what is being suggested is an administrative error, the announcement came following a number of campaig...

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Funny story: No International Olympic Torch Relay in 2012

No International Olympic Torch Relay in 2012

International torch relays have been scrapped for future Olympics, says the olympic committee. Problems with protestors and heavy-handed policing of the relay preceding the last Olympics have been given as the reasons. However, the committee has...

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Funny story: Britain's 2012 Olympic Dogging Team now recruiting!

Britain's 2012 Olympic Dogging Team now recruiting!

With the early completion of the UK 2012 Olympic Dogging Team's training facility the search for "Members" begins. Team manager Dustin Dipper announced that they would be holding an "X Factor" style audition system for prospective team members.

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