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Funny satire stories about Language

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Funny story: Hollywood Bans Use of Gosh, Crikey, Golly, Um, Er, - Hugh Grants Career scuppered

Hollywood Bans Use of Gosh, Crikey, Golly, Um, Er, - Hugh Grants Career scuppered

In a shock move, the kings of Hollywood have banned certain words. These words include such favourites as Er, Um, Yeah, Gosh, and Crikey. Certain curse words such as F***, B*****, S***, have been added.

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Funny story: Translation software breaks down - no-one can understand Scots any more

Translation software breaks down - no-one can understand Scots any more

In a blow to Alex Salmond's promise to bring Scotland into the 21st century, the translation software that enables the rest of the world to understand what Scotch folk say, has broken down.

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Funny story: Obnoxious Words and Phrases Banned

Obnoxious Words and Phrases Banned

Pahokee, Florida (IP) - People with good taste have banned together and decided to ban certain words and phrases which have become boring, worn out, and obnoxious due to their over use and mindless repetition.

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Funny story: ColorAlphabet New Official Language of US

ColorAlphabet New Official Language of US

A color-based letter system developed by artist Christian Faur was recently adopted by the United States as the new official language.

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Funny story: STUDY SHOWS PEOPLE HATE STORIES WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS

STUDY SHOWS PEOPLE HATE STORIES WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS

A FIVE YEAR, $11.2 MILLION DOLLAR US GOVERNMENT STUDY HAS PROVEN THAT MOST READERS DO NOT LIKE STORIES WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS, ACCORDING TO THE STUDIES PRINCIPAL AUTHOR JAMES HASSENHOFF.

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Funny story: East Bay High School Swear Jar Feeds Africa

East Bay High School Swear Jar Feeds Africa

For the past month, East Bay High School has had severe profanity problems. As a solution, the staff created a giant Swear Jar. Every time the students swear or use vulgar language, they must pay 25 cents to the Swear Jar or go to detention.

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Funny story: Translation Service to be suspended

Translation Service to be suspended

The home office has stated that expensive translation services will no longer be offered to those who do not speak English.

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Funny story: Amazonian Tribe fluent in Cockney Rhyming Slang

Amazonian Tribe fluent in Cockney Rhyming Slang

Scientists and Anhropologists the world over were last night stuned to hear of a previously unheard of Amazonian tribe who were fluent in Cockeny Rhyming Slang, the sublanguage prevalent in London's "east end".

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Funny story: Allardyce Sends Out For A Dictionary

Allardyce Sends Out For A Dictionary

Sam Allardyce, the former Bolton Wanderers manager, was yesterday unveiled as the new boss at Newcastle United, who have been perennial under-achievers. Big Sam, as he is known, goes to St James Park...

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Funny story: Bush Wanted Dead or Alive

Bush Wanted Dead or Alive

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The World - Today, the entire world sent out Wanted posters for U.S. President George W. Bush. Among the crimes listed are: * Butchering the English Language * Defamation of Muslims * Piracy of the Constitution of the United States * Lying to the American People While in Office * Unprovoked Attacks on Foreign Countries * Causing Inte...

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Funny story: The popular art of management bollocks

The popular art of management bollocks

We've all heard phrases like 'This is a solution to leverage new opportunities in the target sector" haven't we. Is it a form of language that we need to learn if we are to 'get on', or is it just a load of bollocks!...

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Funny story: "Excuse Me, It's Dead." Say Experts

"Excuse Me, It's Dead." Say Experts

The Oxford English Dictionary, arbiter of correct usage in the English language, is to remove the phrase "Excuse me" declaring it to be officially obsolete.

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Funny story: Scientists discover new letter

Scientists discover new letter

Scientists at the University of Tooting have discovered the existence of a new letter after listening to the grunts of south London teenagers. Previously it was assumed that there were only twenty six letters used by English speakers, but a new lette...

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Funny story: Dog Acquires Language, Reveals Family Secrets

Dog Acquires Language, Reveals Family Secrets

The news that Rex, a seemingly normal dog from Madison, Wisconsin, was recently granted speech took a bizarre twist yesterday when a throng of angry neighbors gathered at the front gate of the Marsh family home. The 50 or 60 agitated adults and chil...

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Funny story: Ave I Got Newz 4 U!!

Ave I Got Newz 4 U!!

Innit, thoouugh? How many times have we seen that rebellious character of Lauren in her cynical Catherine Tate Show mocking and arguing with teachers using her 'amusing,' pinky, street girl, slang language? You can tell where the inspiration is from.

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Funny story: BUSH-SPEAK, a Much Abridged Dictionary

BUSH-SPEAK, a Much Abridged Dictionary

THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION'S DICTIONARY is, by anyone's measure, a lexicon that adds a myriad of new definitions to our language. Over the past six years, our inference of the world of word-meanings has undergone a metamorphosis due quite literally to George W. Bush and his confederates. Naturally, in such a wholesale re-working of the language, we cannot expect to present a comprehensive lis...

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Funny story: The British Abroad - Part 6 (Learning the Lingo)

The British Abroad - Part 6 (Learning the Lingo)

Well, having spent over two years living in Turkey and practically emptying our bank account buying books, tapes, computer programmes etc. etc. in an attempt to get to grips with the confounded language we had to admit defeat. The embarrassment factor finally did for us. Out on the street we were gung-ho, jabbering away to all and sundry, but when we got home and realised that we'd told the n...

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