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Funny satire stories about John McCain

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Funny story: McCain Sells Hockey Mom Lipstick

McCain Sells Hockey Mom Lipstick

To help in raising McCain campaign cash, John McCain has just announced a new line of fashion lipstick: Sarah Paladin Hockey Mom Lipstick. The lipstick comes in several colors: • Red State Red • High Sticking Black and Blue • Multiple Check Contusion Bruise Yellow • Ice Skate Slash Crimson But they only come in one flavor - "They taste like victory!" And then he quickly back-peddled...

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Funny story: What McCain Did For A Klondike Bar

What McCain Did For A Klondike Bar

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Senator John McCain gave away any hope for the Presidency when he selected Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate. It must be hitting him just about now like a load of blue ice falling from the sky.

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Funny story: Aliens knab Obama: now for McCain says leader

Aliens knab Obama: now for McCain says leader

In astonishing scenes in Washington today, Presidential candidate Barack Obama was kidnapped by alien beings from outer space. Obama was holding a open air address when the alien spacecraft suddenly appeared and proceeded to remove the Senate mem...

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Funny story: Leaked Memo Says Obama's Nomination was Affirmative Action by Democrats

Leaked Memo Says Obama's Nomination was Affirmative Action by Democrats

(Washington DC) A leaked memo from the Democratic National Committee revealed that Barack Obama's presidential nomination was the direct result of the Democratic Party's policy on affirmative action. The internal memo was a actual direction ordered b...

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Funny story: The Exciting Adventures of Überdog

The Exciting Adventures of Überdog

Disguised as mild mannered Jowls McCanine-passive Senator from Grrizona who just loves nothing better than to discreetly go with the flow of national public opinion- Überdog fights a never ending battle against, truth, justice, and the Americanimal way. Wait a minute... Reverse that! He's on the right side!! Überdog was streaking across the skies of his beloved nation Americanimals toward th...

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Funny story: McCain Panics - Plans Palin Replacement

McCain Panics - Plans Palin Replacement

Responding to coast-to-coast conservative declarations that Sarah Palin is just too good to be true, and that she is too upstaging, Presidentical hopeful John McCain has selected a backup VP in case Palin jumps ship before Nov. 4th to become U.N. Sec...

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Funny story: Excitement and Fear Over Europe's New Super Collider

Excitement and Fear Over Europe's New Super Collider

The new atomic particle super-collider is an enormous chamber for smashing together atoms in order to make enough noise to get God's attention. Some worry it will cause a local black hole that sucks up the Earth like the garbage disposal devours eve...

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Funny story: Ed-E-torial 27: Maxim's "Hot" Politicians. John McCain Short On Hair And Cash!

Ed-E-torial 27: Maxim's "Hot" Politicians. John McCain Short On Hair And Cash!

(New York, NY) "Maxim" magazine has come out with its "100 Hottest Cabinet Members". Number one was Condoleezza Rice. And in a surprising turn, coming in at number two was Abraham Lincoln's Secretary of State, William Seward. (Washington, D.C) "The Washington Post" reported that the Presidential candidate most likely to quote from "Dirty Harry", John McCain, is still behind Barack Obama in fu...

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Funny story: McCain would buy bad homeowner mortgages

McCain would buy bad homeowner mortgages

Taking a break from campaigning, Senator McCain said he couldn't resist taking advantage of some very irresistible deals. Cashing in on the cheap unwanted mortgage deals, being sold by failing banks worldwide, McCain has snapped up what he calls "...

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Funny story: POW's PTSD: McCain addresses Nation as: "My Fellow Prisoners"

POW's PTSD: McCain addresses Nation as: "My Fellow Prisoners"

POW Repub candie John McCain had a post traumatic shock disorder flashback during a campaign stump speech. McCain addressed the nation as my fellow prisoners. He went on to attack the slope-headed savages imprisoning his captured comrades. In a...

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Funny story: Dark Lord Rove Advises McCain to Claim Imaginary Interracial Child: Mulatto is the New White!

Dark Lord Rove Advises McCain to Claim Imaginary Interracial Child: Mulatto is the New White!

Karl Rove once bushwhacked John McCain with an imaginary interrracial child that stole North Carolina and the presidential nomination from this year's Repub Candie, a POW who Rove smeared as unbalanced. Always one to learn from the past, McC not...

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Funny story: McCain's friendship questioned, denied.

McCain's friendship questioned, denied.

NORFOLK, Va. -- The latest claim made by Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) -- that everyone is his friend, is being denied by voters across the nation, including those at Belmont University in Tennessee, where the debate took...

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Funny story: Presidential Smack-Down: Terrorist Versus Satanist

Presidential Smack-Down: Terrorist Versus Satanist

Presidential hopeful, Senator Barrack Hussein Obama has largely dodged the bullet concerning his association with early Al Qaeda operative, William Ayers. However, recent revelations concerning Obama, the Jew-hating, Muslim have called into question...

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Funny story: John McCain Gives Up Bid for Presidency

John McCain Gives Up Bid for Presidency

The Republican presidential nominee, John McCain, announced he was withdrawing from the 2008 presidential campaign after remembering he was married to a beer heiress. The former-presidential hopeful, in a departure from the meticulously groomed...

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Funny story: McCain Mortgage Buyout to Include White House

McCain Mortgage Buyout to Include White House

John McCain's only slightly original economic plan was poorly explained by the Repub candie at the debate in Memphis in which old Elvis left the building quite early. After scrutiny by housing experts and economists from the Hogswarts School of...

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Funny story: McCain Shits His Pants During Debate

McCain Shits His Pants During Debate

Washington - GOP handlers were quick to dismiss reports that Senator McCain shit his pants while debating Barrack Obama last night. Democrats say that the true impact of the global economic melt-down finally hit home to McCain last night in mid-sente...

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Funny story: McCain Lieberman, Dancing with the Stars

McCain Lieberman, Dancing with the Stars

Senator McCain once again suspended his campaign to be featured on "Dancing with the stars". His partner of choice, Senator Lieberman. The theme of the evening had strong homosexual overtones, "Never leave your buddy's behind". Both McCain and Lie...

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