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Funny story: New Diet Involves Counting

New Diet Involves Counting

We've been told to count calories if we want to control our weight. But now we need to do even more counting, according to a new weight control strategy recommended by the specialist counting agency Counts 'R'Us. They say that if we expend exactly...

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Funny story: Self-Cleaning ovens linked to stomach disorders

Self-Cleaning ovens linked to stomach disorders

The FDA released a report that had been compiled by FDA Research Assistant J. Herman Petersilge of Iona, New York, which offers a scenario where self cleaning ovens are a cause of stomach disorders. "It was right there in front of us all the time,...

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Funny story: New Exercise Sensation

New Exercise Sensation

A new exercise, thought to have been developed by followers of Genghis Khan, has been causing great excitement on the internet. As illustrated by a follower of the new fashion, Scatthi Scactum, it consists of the practitioner holding the neck of t...

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Funny story: Rohypnol one of your five-a-day claims offender

Rohypnol one of your five-a-day claims offender

Drink-spiking drug and racoon laxative, Rohypnol, actually counts as one of your five-a-day according to sometimes sex offender, Gavin McCloroform. Gavin, a thirty-eight-year-old dietician from Cardiff, claims the drug is misunderstood and with t...

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Funny story: Mayo Clinic Poll: Thirty-seven percent of Americans have Shit for Brains!

Mayo Clinic Poll: Thirty-seven percent of Americans have Shit for Brains!

A new poll released by Mayo Clinic this morning reveals that thirty-seven percent of the adult US population has Shit for Brains! In an unprecedented move Fox News and MSNBC News are claiming that the poll is biased, provocative, and blasphemous. The...

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Funny story: New White House Study Links Guns and Obesity

New White House Study Links Guns and Obesity

President Obama disclosed today, in a speech made in Yuma, Arizona before a group of culinary students at the Taco Institute of America, that recent studies on obesity, have directly contributed obesity to gun use in our country. "When a person has a...

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Funny story: Man Contracts Virus From His Computer

Man Contracts Virus From His Computer

Manny Horkle's wife Bunny said she first noticed a problem when Manny suddenly stopped functioning while the couple was taking an evening walk. "We were walking along and, all of a sudden, he just froze and his left eye began twitching rapidly,"...

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Funny story: Man Takes Every Medication Advertised on the Evening News

Man Takes Every Medication Advertised on the Evening News

Wink Packard spends most of his time watching television, particularly news programs. But it's not the news he tunes in for, it's the pharmaceutical commercials. "I really like the drug commercials," he said, adding that he tries out each one of th...

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Funny story: Doctors Mystified by Baby Born With Phillips-Head Butt Crack

Doctors Mystified by Baby Born With Phillips-Head Butt Crack

Doctors in the small town of Flooters Bend have announced that a baby with a Phillips head butt crack was born in a local hospital yesterday, a never-before seen occurrence. "It's unique, alright," said Dr. Lionel Shizzmer, the doctor who delivered...

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Funny story: Plan To Perform Physical Exams Via Skype Criticized

Plan To Perform Physical Exams Via Skype Criticized

Health experts say an Obama administration plan requiring patients to undergo routine physical examinations via Skype is drawing objections from the public. The proposal is part of the administration's controversial healthcare plan and White Hou...

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Funny story: Doctors Optimistic About Man's Reattachment Surgery Following Tragic Waxing Accident

Doctors Optimistic About Man's Reattachment Surgery Following Tragic Waxing Accident

Louie Toon said he just wanted to get "groomed up" to surprise his girlfriend, but now the 27-year-old man is facing major reattachment surgery following a tragic accident while undergoing a Brazilian waxing treatment. "The first time they rippe...

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Funny story: Food Poisoning The Latest Weight Loss Craze in Hollywood

Food Poisoning The Latest Weight Loss Craze in Hollywood

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Some of the hottest celebrities in Tinseltown have been spotted with shopping carts full of expired foods from their local grocery stores in a strange effort to get on board the latest weight loss epidemic - food poisoning. Accord...

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Funny story: Cryogenic Storage Facility Workers Caught Bowling With Frozen Heads

Cryogenic Storage Facility Workers Caught Bowling With Frozen Heads

Six workers at a local cryogenics storage facility are out of a job after being caught bowling with frozen human heads early Tuesday morning. Police say a security guard heard laughing and shouting around 3:00am and discovered the intoxicated wo...

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Funny story: Finger Doctors: E-Readers Are Killing Our Business

Finger Doctors: E-Readers Are Killing Our Business

A national association of finger doctors said today that e-readers like the Kindle and Nook are taking away a large segment of their business. "We used to treat dozens of patients with paper cuts on their fingers from books and magazines each da...

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Funny story: Prostate Exam Smartphone App Not Safe, Officials Say

Prostate Exam Smartphone App Not Safe, Officials Say

Officials with the Consumer Product Safety Commission are warning users to avoid using a recently released prostate exam app because of safety concerns. The Boldfinger consists of both the app program and a four-inch long plastic finger that connect...

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Funny story: Now horse meat found in cannibal meals

Now horse meat found in cannibal meals

Supermarket giant Tesdabury's has become the latest store caught up in the horse meat scandal after allegations that horse meat has been found in its "Cannibal Range" of ready meals. A clearly shaken company spokesperson Sue Perior admitted "This...

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Funny story: Throat Doctors: Saying "oigliieeeeeeee" More Effective Than Saying "ahhhhhhhhhh"

Throat Doctors: Saying "oigliieeeeeeee" More Effective Than Saying "ahhhhhhhhhh"

The results of a two-year, $3-million study indicate that throat doctors should be asking their patients to "open up and say oigliieeeeeeee" instead of "say ahhhhhhhhhh." "We realize this is a huge change after decades of using ahhhhhhhhhh, but...

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