On reflection, he was more than happy that he had lived to experience such an event, however unreal it may have appeared at the time. He could see it all clearly now. Gazing up at the stars that seemed suddenly close and friendly he could not help but replay the scene over and over in his mind. To a stunned and packed Senate gathering President Barack Obama got slowly to his feet to announce th...
Barney Fife, former deputy sheriff of Mayberry, NC, and an "intimate associate" of Prezident Barry Obummer, is "stepping down as a longtime friend of the chief executive," the White House confirmed. Although the White House would not "speculate" o...
WASHINGTON --The decision by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu and House Speaker John Boehner to set up an address to the U.S. Congress has set up a backlash by the Obama Administration. This affair was organized by Netanyahu; his amb...
Jaggedone's CIA reporter gets crushed by Ukrainian separatist tank but manages to get his report out before Putin gives him a bullet in the head, and here it is: Brave, star Georgian CIA reporter and ex-Russian Roach-Spy in Afghanistan, Vladimir V...
WASHINGTON, DC - US President Barack Obama issued an executive order today, directing all US drivers to switch to the left side. The executive order states that the switch will be implemented gradually, so Americans are not shocked, but will conti...
Washington - A solar-powered supersonic combusting ramjet built from sustainable recycled carbon fiber and organic fairtrade hessian interior has been chosen as the new presidential runabout. The latest US Air Force acquisition will be a variant...
"Ebola could yet spread to the West", warns Sierra Leone doctor. 8,000 dead so far in that region. Israel is on the brink of an all-out war with Lebanon's Hezbollah that may drag other regions in the Middle East into the conflict. North Korea t...
PENTAGON - Following his interview with YouTube sensation Glozell Green, President Obama was so impressed with the human bundle of energy that he announced she will be replacing the worthless and lame Secretary of State, John Kerry, in ongoing nu...
President Bareass Obummer is "hotter than a steaming pile of sh*t," according to Beltway insiders. "He's absolutely fuming!" What has the presidential bowels in such an uproar? Speaker of the House John Boner had the "audacity" to invite Israel...
WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama wrapped up his State of the Union speech by Skyping with porn-star, Buster Hymen. The interview included queries about his favorite movie, what he wanted to be growing up, and what superpower he would like to possess.
Senate Speaker Mitch McConnell speaking today, published verbatim. The president and I should start "Straight Talking" with one another and cut the crap! Look - everyone knows I'm a straight shooter - and so let's just cut the crap and have some conversations with each other that most Americans,and especially southern conservative can really relate to and understand! For example - Barak -...
Washington DC - Citing an off-color Mars/Neptune conjunction in Pisces followed by a psychotic Aquarius New Moon the acclaimed Astrology Channel has suddenly turned chicken. And cancelled Tuesday's live stream Presidential rant. It's the first...
Washington - "The President has the right to remain obnoxious," US Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell said on the Sleazy-SS Channel's Fuck the Nation program in a timely free speech rant. "But he won't be getting a single red cent from decent...
WASHINGTON, DC - President Barack Obama will unveil a plan to tax flatulent-producing foods in order to cut methane emissions from Americans during his remaining two years in the White House. The new "fart tax" - which will be formally unveiled on...
BILLINGSGATE POST: State Department spokesperson, Jan Psaki, denied reports that the President chose to watch NFL play-off games rather than gather with other world leaders in Paris this weekend to march in the Charlie Hebdo solidarity gathering.
Ill Jong Cock - North Korea's demented ruler has offered the services of his palace chefs to turn the Obamas new puppy BO into a North Korean specialty - Baked and Pickled Portuguese Water Dog with sauteed Siberian Tiger balls as a peace offering.
Washington DC - "Doc, I have a dream," President Obama told his personal analyst yesterday morning, "I have this dream I'm gonna rob another - uh - rob a bank." The recurring nocturnal visions started shortly after Thanksgiving and seem to be fixa...
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