Representatives at this year's Davos conference are rioting, according to Twitter reports from the Swiss resort. A series of meetings have been placed at risk after delegates have taken to violence over bar bills. At a meeting dubbed Banking Af...
In a move that has sent ripples throughout the financial community, insurance giant AIG has been purchased by a retired coin collector from Pittsburg. Using a large collection of mint condition Gold Rush era minted coins, Bob Durham bought a controll...
The citizens of the United States today in a mass movement became the largest bank in the world. Strapped with the responsibility of saving huge financial institutions from insolvency and the auto industry as well as a number of other enterprises, th...
Alistair Darling has today installed leading children's TV entertainers The Chuckle Brothers ("to me, to you") as joint CEO's of Halifax/Bank of Scotland with immediate effect. The pair, real names Antoine and Julius Fitzroy-Chuckle have absolute...
Buoyed by news that the Newcastle Stone bank is to be relaunched as a "Good Bank" as part of the government's efforts to stimulate lending, the lender today announced it's latest innovative product. "You've all heard of the so-called Buy-to-Let mo...
Darling told the FootzWootz Times, in response to Brown's statements about bank executives not wiping themselves properly today, that one "big bad bank" is needed. "We need to take all these bankers who can't wipe themselves properly and place the...
The prime minister has demanded that banks admit how many "toxic asses" they have on their sheets. Gordon Brown told the Footzwootz Times the banks had to "wipe themselves clean" of toxic asses so people could stand the smell of them again. He...
In Congress, October 4, 2008 The unanimous Declaration of the fifty united Banks of America When in the Course of financial events, it becomes necessary for our banks to dissolve the financial bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - When Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild filmmaker Joe Francis traveled to Washington to ask for $5 billion in bailout money, their expectations weren't exactly high. To their surprise, Congress offered them a deal i...
Today the new charity Help The Banks appealed to the British public to send in their donations. Their secretary, Alistair Starling, said: 'At this time of the year many bank managers are suffering. While you and your families are eating your Christma...
In a bizarre twist last night, the latest revelations that the banks were duped by a multi-billionaire American fraudster have themselves been revealed as a fraudulent scam. Global financial institutions claim to have lost billions on a pyramid inve...
Dear Sirs, With regard to what seems to be happening on an international scale with banks at the moment, I was wondering if you could enlighten me in the following scenario: If one of my checks is returned marked "insufficient funds," how will I know whether that refers to me or to you? Yours Sincerely Mr I. Seine...
In a ray of good news during the economic crisis, RBS have stated that they will give a six month grace period to home owners defaulting on their mortgages. "We're just jolly nice chaps," said Richard Bertram-Smythe, the man who gave his initials...
In a surprise turnaround, the Chancellor has today announced he will not be bailing out the struggling Banks. In an interview with a major news channel he said "I have decided the only way out of this mess is to give the money to the public. I'm...
The Prime Minister got really angry today with bankers who refused to lend customers money despite massive government bailouts. Singled out for a particularly vitriolic attack was Stan The Bastard's Bank, Building Society, and Pizzeria, of Hartlep...
A luxury private jet on route to Japan with some of Britain's most senior bankers on board, was forced to land at a remote airport in Siberia yesterday after the airline 'Carrion Jet Services' was put into administration. The pilot and crew have bee...
A riot broke out yesterday when a gang of well dressed marauding ex bank executives mugged Father Christmas outside Selfridges. There were reports of serious injury especially to HBOS execs who, in turn, were mugged by Lloyds execs who claimed entitl...
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