At first, there was no money. Then gold, silver, and precious metals were made into coins, for convenience. Then somebody came up with a "get-rich-quick" scheme, and invented paper money, because precious metals (henceforth called gold) were too heavy and inconvenient. Of course, there was no limit to the supply of paper money, other than the speed at which trees could be turned into paper. So...
Wall Street produced the global financial and economic crisis but it may take a beloved 75-year-old game to solve it. The Obama administration is preparing a revised bailout plan for the banking system, calling on Wall Street bankers and 'Fat Cat...
Rumours circulating in parliament this morning suggested that the British Government has contacted the board of Barclays Bank demanding an immediate explanation on recent bonus payments. It follows revelations in today's papers that Barclays had pa...
The annual Berlin film festival opened Thursday with "The International," a thriller from German director Tom Tykwer centering on an Interpol agent's pursuit of a powerful bank's illicit activities. Two unknown actors, Ginny Mae and Freddie Mack,...
The world side recession surprisingly ended abruptly today after the CEO's, Investors and Economists responsible for causing the downturn by bilking investors, gouging company finances and lying to the public were taken out and shot. Borrowing fr...
PARKER, Colorado - Joe the Soda Jerk, of Woolpuke's Drugs, explained to a large crowd of reporters at 9am today, exactly what is going on in the banking world under the opaque TARP - where the money is really going. "Let's say your a banker. You make money by sticking a straw up people and sucking out what ever is inside, aspartame, blood, whatever they got. "Well, one day, you get it all.
(Washington, D.C.) A day after President Obama read an article that Wall Street bankers paid themselves 18 billion dollars in bonuses out of the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP), funds allocated to open up lending and credit, the President is pro...
The financial sector has hailed the first green shoots of recovery, following the surprise announcement that mortgage approvals had unexpectedly risen for December 2008. The rise, announced by the Bank of England today, shows that mortgage lending...
Representatives at this year's Davos conference are rioting, according to Twitter reports from the Swiss resort. A series of meetings have been placed at risk after delegates have taken to violence over bar bills. At a meeting dubbed Banking Af...
In a move that has sent ripples throughout the financial community, insurance giant AIG has been purchased by a retired coin collector from Pittsburg. Using a large collection of mint condition Gold Rush era minted coins, Bob Durham bought a controll...
The citizens of the United States today in a mass movement became the largest bank in the world. Strapped with the responsibility of saving huge financial institutions from insolvency and the auto industry as well as a number of other enterprises, th...
Alistair Darling has today installed leading children's TV entertainers The Chuckle Brothers ("to me, to you") as joint CEO's of Halifax/Bank of Scotland with immediate effect. The pair, real names Antoine and Julius Fitzroy-Chuckle have absolute...
Buoyed by news that the Newcastle Stone bank is to be relaunched as a "Good Bank" as part of the government's efforts to stimulate lending, the lender today announced it's latest innovative product. "You've all heard of the so-called Buy-to-Let mo...
Darling told the FootzWootz Times, in response to Brown's statements about bank executives not wiping themselves properly today, that one "big bad bank" is needed. "We need to take all these bankers who can't wipe themselves properly and place the...
The prime minister has demanded that banks admit how many "toxic asses" they have on their sheets. Gordon Brown told the Footzwootz Times the banks had to "wipe themselves clean" of toxic asses so people could stand the smell of them again. He...
In Congress, October 4, 2008 The unanimous Declaration of the fifty united Banks of America When in the Course of financial events, it becomes necessary for our banks to dissolve the financial bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - When Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild filmmaker Joe Francis traveled to Washington to ask for $5 billion in bailout money, their expectations weren't exactly high. To their surprise, Congress offered them a deal i...
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