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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Tiny Holland do what massive England just cannot: Win. Why?!

Tiny Holland do what massive England just cannot: Win. Why?!

Jaggedone decided to research this strange phenomenom and sent his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporter, Johann van de Wank into the headquarters of Dutch footy excellence, the Ajax Amsterdam Academy, here his shocking report: Overhearing...

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Funny story: Desperate Fab-u-loseio Capello invites top South African Witch Doctor to rid England of the ancient curse. 'Loseritis"!

Desperate Fab-u-loseio Capello invites top South African Witch Doctor to rid England of the ancient curse. 'Loseritis"!

In a last ditch, desperate attempt to save England, a speachless Fab-u-loseio Capello has ordered a top Zuid Afrikaans Witch Doctor in to try and rid England of that ancient curse "Loseritis". (translated in perfect Zulu = Spoilt Brat-itis) Jagged...

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Funny story: Fergie prepares for England manager's role

Fergie prepares for England manager's role

George Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer, is preparing his emergency budget for next Wednesday. Following Britain's disastrous showing at the Eurovision song contest a double blow of England exiting from the World Cup in the first round and Mur...

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Funny story: Superb England Crush Algeria

Superb England Crush Algeria

It was a night all England fans will long remember after a great result in Africa saw the England national team stun their group rivals Algeria with a performance of real quality in the Camel Racing World Cup. Still smarting after a disappointing...

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Funny story: Mystery surrounds a consignment of 25 Jabulani footballs delivered to Wembley stadium

Mystery surrounds a consignment of 25 Jabulani footballs delivered to Wembley stadium

England training Camp, South Africa: Embedded into the England team during the World Cup, our on the spot reporter, has been able to gain access to the latest Fabio Capello hard hitting Tommy Cooper jokes! On the training pitch has told the playe...

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Funny story: French team insult in Mexican restaurant

French team insult in Mexican restaurant

France's dismal World Cup Campaign took a turn for the worst last night when it emerged there after game dinner was arranged for a Mexican Restaurant. The embarrassing 2-0 defeat last night to Mexico was only the start of a disastrous day for the Fr...

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Funny story: Vuvuzela Found Stuck Up Man's Arse

Vuvuzela Found Stuck Up Man's Arse

Medical staff have told how a man was admitted to a Johannesburg hospital this morning with a vuvuzela protruding out of his arse. The local man, who had been blowing his 'horn' at the South Africa v. Uruguay game, had, apparently, been attacked b...

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Funny story: England To Play Algeria Dressed In Body Armour

England To Play Algeria Dressed In Body Armour

The Football Association has this morning announced that the England team to play in the crucial World Cup Group C game against Algeria in Cape Town on Friday will take the field clad in full body armour. The move is to counter any sinister plots...

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Funny story: World Cup Conspiracy Leaked

World Cup Conspiracy Leaked

After the recent failed attempts by football supporters' organisations to have the vuvuzelas banned at the World Cup matches in South Africa, news has spread of a possible conspiracy to silence the vuvuzelas once and for all-by knocking all the Afric...

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Funny story: 'No room' for poor presenters at the BBC

'No room' for poor presenters at the BBC

It has been disclosed that the BBC were asked to provide 'poor' presenters by FIFA for the world cup to 'show empathy' to poverty stricken South Africans - but none could be found, even with 7yrs' notice. The best the BBC could muster was the poor...

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Funny story: World Cup 2010 - Greece Installed As New Favourites

World Cup 2010 - Greece Installed As New Favourites

In a surprising development, Greece, probably the worst team ever to appear in the World Cup finals, and yesterday 1000-1 outsiders, are now 1-4 on favourites to win the competition. The sudden shift in betting odds came in the aftermath of Greece...

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Funny story: Jabulani ball axed, rugby ball in

Jabulani ball axed, rugby ball in

The much talked about Jabulani ball is to be replaced in the final officials have now confirmed at Soccer City, Johannesburg. The ball which has caused much controversy will be replaced by a rugby ball on July 11th. The move comes after much disc...

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Funny story: Local Man Says "Sod James Corden - I'm Having A Shave"

Local Man Says "Sod James Corden - I'm Having A Shave"

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock today decided to have a shave rather than follow roly-poly funnyman James Corden's TV appeal for England football fans not to shave as long as the England team remain in the World Cup. Shuttlecock told our reporter: "...

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Funny story: Nigeria out of World Cup

Nigeria out of World Cup

In emerging news, the Nigerian football team, playing at the 19th FIFA World Cup in South Afria, have been disqualified from the tournament because their captain tried to bribe FIFA officials in an endeavour to influence the results of their group ga...

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Funny story: Touchdown Jesus protests World Cup

Touchdown Jesus protests World Cup

A "warning from the Lord" was revealed this week in Monroe, Ohio, says a minister in nearby Ohnoes. Touchdown Jesus, a 60-foot plastic foam and fiberglass statue with arms raised high like a football referee, went up in smoke on June 14 when lightni...

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Funny story: Rangers bought by Celtic FC

Rangers bought by Celtic FC

In Scotland today, reports are circulating that the debt-ridden Glasgow Rangers have been bought by bitter rivals Glasgow Celtic. On the clubs official website Chairman David Murray has stated; 'this is in the best interests of not only Glasgow Ra...

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Funny story: Vuvuzelas Can Be Heard 'Even After TV Has Been Switched Off'

Vuvuzelas Can Be Heard 'Even After TV Has Been Switched Off'

Viewers of the BBC's World Cup coverage have swamped the organisation's switchboard in recent days complaining that the droning that accompanies the football matches can be heard 'even after TV sets have been turned off'. The Beeb said this morni...

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