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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Queen chokes on diamond brooch at England thrashing

Queen chokes on diamond brooch at England thrashing

London - (OMG! Mess): The three inch 20 carat Star of Hindustan accidentally got caught in HM's throat amid the shock of a tosser ref's disallowed Frank Lampard goal. "Orf with his head!" the Queen cried just as the fastener of the 1901 Boucheron...

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Funny story: Sepp Blatter - No Technology Required - Twat

Sepp Blatter - No Technology Required - Twat

Sepp Blatter, FIFA President, is a wanted man today. Not because people want to buy him a drink, or break bread with him, or engage him in smalltalk - he's a wanted man because he is regarded in England and Mexico as a twat of the highest order. A...

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Funny story: Justin Bieber and His Date Kim Kardashian Watch Germany Defeat England 4-1 At The World Cup Matches

Justin Bieber and His Date Kim Kardashian Watch Germany Defeat England 4-1 At The World Cup Matches

MANGAUNG-BLOEMFONTEIN, South Africa - One of music's most popular young singers flew to South Africa with his date Kim Kardashian to watch the much anticipated soccer match between Germany and England at Mangaung-Bloemfontein's beautiful Vuvuzela Nat...

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Funny story: England Gets The Monday Blues

England Gets The Monday Blues

Bob Geldof didn't much like Mondays, back in the day when he was a Boomtown Rat. Cue England - June 28th 2010 - and now nobody likes Mondays. This is England in crisis. This is England on its knees. This is a defeated and deflated England - a hope...

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Funny story: Stephen Hawkings Appointed New England Manager and Names Chimpanzee as Assistant

Stephen Hawkings Appointed New England Manager and Names Chimpanzee as Assistant

It's the dream team England fans have been waiting for - everone's favourite Dalek Stephen Hawking is teaming up with a chimpanzee to take over the reigns of the England squad with immediate effect. While the England squad make their way back to t...

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Funny story: England and Germany to Replay 2nd half in World Cup

England and Germany to Replay 2nd half in World Cup

In an unexpected move, the 2nd half of the England v Germany game has been declared void. In a statement, football president Fred Blather declared: 'The evidence that the goal attempt by Lampard, not recognised by the Referee or his Assistant, was...

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Funny story: England Team return from South Africa

England Team return from South Africa

A disgraced England team, began the long trek home from South Africa, in a rowing boat. Asked why the long faces, Jermaine Defoe said; "We've only got one oar" A spokesperson for Fabio Capone said; "Fuck em, If I had my way, they would be swimming...

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Funny story: Germans Use Mind Control over England to Win Cup Game

Germans Use Mind Control over England to Win Cup Game

Fans are still scratching their heads at the beating England took from Germany. Those watching said there definitely was something strange going on and wondering if the rumors about the German team using mind control are actually true. England's p...

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Funny story: England - The Inquest - A Comedy Of Errors

England - The Inquest - A Comedy Of Errors

The knives are out. England expects that every man shall do his duty. Once more unto the breach dear friends. Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious by the summer sun of 1966. England v Germany. Not simply defeated. Humiliated. Made...

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Funny story: John Terry Revealed As German Sleeper Agent "I'm Gonna Win For Ze Fatherland"

John Terry Revealed As German Sleeper Agent "I'm Gonna Win For Ze Fatherland"

The penny finally drops. We've known for a while that John Terry's recent erratic behaviour was perhaps part of a larger plan but only now can we truly appreciate the gravity of the situation. He's repeatedly mounted his team mate Wayne Bridge's...

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Funny story: Korea Out Of World Cup For Second Time In Seven Days!

Korea Out Of World Cup For Second Time In Seven Days!

Getting 'knocked out of the Cup' is a sobering experience for any football team, but spare a thought for the plucky minnows of world football, Korea, who, last night, became the first country in history to be knocked out of the World Cup twice in sev...

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Funny story: English Word Cup Fan Falls Four Floors Out The Window

English Word Cup Fan Falls Four Floors Out The Window

Police in Manchester say a 35-year-old woman apparently excited about a football game in South Africa jumped around until she fell out her fourth story apartment, landed on a truck hauling a dumpster filled with mattresses, crawled out of the dumpste...

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Funny story: Wayne Rooney: "I'll eat the football so the Germans can't score"

Wayne Rooney: "I'll eat the football so the Germans can't score"

It is the clash of the titans. An epic titanic clash between two giants of the footballing world. And that is just Uruguay vs South Korea. Tomorrow England face Germany in a critical and not literally deadly match that will decide which of the tw...

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Funny story: World Cup Referee Payoffs!

World Cup Referee Payoffs!

At least two referees at the World Cup Games have been dismissed and are still being interrigated by South African officers after Baruti Goitsemednse admitted Friday that he had been paid by gamblers in his calling of a round one game. "These are...

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Funny story: Landon Donovan And Clint Dempsey Offer England Team A Lifeline In Germany Clash

Landon Donovan And Clint Dempsey Offer England Team A Lifeline In Germany Clash

International World Cup superstars Landon Donovan and Clint Dempsey of the United States soccer team yesterday extended the hand of friendship towards their English counterparts ahead of England's crucial last 16 World Cup game against Germany in Blo...

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Funny story: Germans promise to "Blitzkrieg" England with "Donner und Mein Kampf!"

Germans promise to "Blitzkrieg" England with "Donner und Mein Kampf!"

The old enemies are about to clash again and the Germans in their popular tabloid newspaper, Die Bild Zeitung, have issued the following warning to England's players and fans: "Ve das Deutsche volk vill Blitzkrieg England vith our Messerschmits, U...

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Funny story: Fawlty Steps into World Cup Drama

Fawlty Steps into World Cup Drama

After an Emergency meeting of the famous Python Committee, named after the war hero Sir Monty Python, a distress call has been answered by Britain's premier retired diplomat Sir Basil Fawlty. From his Tower in Torquay, Sir Basil gave us an exclusi...

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