GALVESTON, TX - Texas authorities began searching again this Sunday for a convicted burglar who escaped, this time by climbing seven stories down the side of a building on a rope made of bedsheets, officials said. Avery Jones Clampett, 21, was las...
BLANK CHECK CITY, Texas - After twenty years of roaming the vast countryside of Central Texas the dreaded legendary creature the Chupacabra, which means "Goat Sucker" has finally been captured. Emmett Bob Figginfacker, a crop dusting pilot and own...
NEW YORK CITY - The New York City council has voted to change the name of John F. Kennedy International Airport to Teddy Kennedy International Airport. Councilwoman Chloe Tarantella said that originally the council wanted to rename it The John and...
LA GRANGE, Texas - The infamous Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, aka The Chicken Ranch has finally been sold. And the buyer is none other than South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. Sanford purchased the long-abandoned Chicken Ranch through Nolan R...
WASILLA, Alaska - After weeks of speculation, innuendo, and denial, word has come out that ex-governor of Alaska Sarah Palin has decided to leave Alaska and move down to Texas. The former governor purchased former President George Bush's 1,583 acr...
Tennis star Andy Roddick is headed for the semis at Wilmbedon but he claims that he won the best prize of all at the best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Roddick was plating at the Lubbock open a little known much disrespected tennis tournament in Lubboc...
ABILENE, TX - Visitors to the Abilene Zoo today were delighted by a secretive and mysterious out-of-towner described by many who come across him as "playful," "magical," and "sorta pasty-white." Some coulda even sworn he mighta been the Undisputed K...
SAN ANTONIO - The San Antonio Daily Discloser is reporting that Texas Governor Rick Perry has just finalized a deal with the Republic of Mexico's President Nacho Winslow for the south of the border country to purchase the Alamo. The governor said...
Guest began to arrive at the non-descript million dollar Dallas mansion of George W Bush just hours after news broke that scientists had discovered the 'missing link' between man and monkey. "We are all excited to hear that my husband George has f...
The state of Texas today seceded from the United States and joined with Mexico, a nation it had once fought for independence from at the Alamo. Governor Rick Perry, disgruntled with the economic politics of President Obama and dreaming of the wonderf...
Houston (New Texas Country): President Rick Perry announced that Texas is to become a new independent state as result of the economic and recession effect. He also announced that Texan who want to join Union will be prosecuted in full public view jus...
Austin, Texas - In recent statements, Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) has suggested that the state of Texas might consider seceding from the Union in response to President Obama's national policies. The Lone Star State was once a republic, and Gov. Perry i...
Dallas, TX - A man in Lubbock has done what others in his state have only dreamt of doing--seceding from the United States of America. While others were protesting in the streets outside Lubbock's one-room courthouse/post office/7-11, Leroy Jenkem w...
For almost a century, scientists have fought against what they thought to be closedminded rural areas and their refusal to accept and teach the sound scientific theory of evolution. But new discoveries in the field of rural evolutionary biology have...
The Republic of Texas -- Not that I don't care for the Hollywood star perhaps best known for his role in the television series, "Walker, Texas Ranger". But as in any crisis, and the Country as whole is facing a deep financial crisis, the nuts come out in droves. Chuck Norris is merely one of the latest. It takes a bit of courage to dis on the man who doesn't wear a watch simply because he dec...
Interstate 40, Amarillo, Texas -- After twelve years of public service, the Department of Transportation has announced the retirement of one of the agency's most durable traffic cones. "It's a sad day today," highway worker, Mike Davey, said as he...
London - (OMFG! Mess): A Texan tycoon's $8 billion Ponzi scam has been run from a 'few squalid North London squats' according to FBI sources. The Serious Fraud Office yesterday raided Sir Alan Stanford's 'accountants' in Enfield and found one octo...
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