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Funny satire stories about Santa

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Funny story: North Pole Pedophile Ring Broken

North Pole Pedophile Ring Broken

North Pole: In what North Pole police are saying is a massive child porn and pedophilia bust, Santa Claus, aka Christopher Kringle, of North Pole has been arrested. "Currently this case is under investigation and the collection of evidence is cont...

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Funny story: Santa Claus Asks U.S. Congress for $400 Billion

Santa Claus Asks U.S. Congress for $400 Billion

NORTH POLE (Friggemall Wire Services) -- Santa Claus, the iconic deliverer of toys who is much loved by children all over the world, has petitioned the United States Congress for $400 billion. Claus, age undetermined, cites increased costs of mate...

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Funny story: Santa Claus says he's not coming to Little Jimmy Brennan's House this Year

Santa Claus says he's not coming to Little Jimmy Brennan's House this Year

Jolly old Santa has issued an internal memo to his staff in Lapland to not bother putting any presents in the sleigh for little Jimmy Brennan this year. It's believed the issue is related to an incident last Christmas in which 'someone' left a poo...

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Funny story: Shock as Gordon Brown is told the truth about Santa Claus

Shock as Gordon Brown is told the truth about Santa Claus

It has emerged today that the British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, has suffered a major blow to his beliefs and is on the verge of a complete mental breakdown. In a week of terrible economic turmoil that has seen millions of job losses, he has no...

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Funny story: Obama says Kwanzaa in "Multicolor House'

Obama says Kwanzaa in "Multicolor House'

Washington D.C Kwanzaa will be celebrated in the new 'multi-colored' house next year. In keeping with his theme throughout his campaign, that 'change is coming', President -elect Barack Obama announced change yesterday. Kwanzaa will be celebrated in...

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Funny story: Rioting Bankers Mug Santa

Rioting Bankers Mug Santa

A riot broke out yesterday when a gang of well dressed marauding ex bank executives mugged Father Christmas outside Selfridges. There were reports of serious injury especially to HBOS execs who, in turn, were mugged by Lloyds execs who claimed entitl...

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Funny story: Father Christmas Killed in Tragic Sleigh Accident, Say Cash-Strapped Parents

Father Christmas Killed in Tragic Sleigh Accident, Say Cash-Strapped Parents

St Nicholas, the jovial and benevolent bearer of Christmas gifts died when his custom-made sleigh collided with a Jumbo Jet just outside the North Pole, newly-impoverished parents reported to their children yesterday. The man more commonly known a...

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Funny story: Big North Pole Layoff

Big North Pole Layoff

North Pole- Claus Corporation, aka Santa Claus LTD, has drastically reduced it's workforce right during the prime producing season. The bar rooms and taverns here are loaded with elves and reindeer as the region is reeling with the recent announceme...

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Funny story: Santa Claus copies Ringo Starr and tells kids 'no more mail...and f$!* off'!'

Santa Claus copies Ringo Starr and tells kids 'no more mail...and f$!* off'!'

Santa Claus has had enough. He has told children (who are our future), to piss off, in a 'Ringo Starr' styled unprovoked ranting tirade. Self-centred kiddies of the world, were shocked to see a grumpy, bearded, drunken, and tired-looking 'Santa...

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Funny story: Santa Claus Vacancy / JobCentre Plus

Santa Claus Vacancy / JobCentre Plus

Job Title FATHER CHRISTMAS / SANTA CLAUS Ref : ALU /62734 Location : Lapland based / Worldwide distribution network Hours : Christmas Eve : Dusk til dawn Wage : MEETS NATIONAL MINIMUM WAGE Work Pattern : Night shift Employer : Grotty Grottos Ltd Pension : ? Don't be silly Duration : One night per annum Description : As Father Christmas you will be r...

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Funny story: Santa Claus Asks NATO Help After Russia Invades

Santa Claus Asks NATO Help After Russia Invades

North Pole-- Santa Claus called NATO headquarters today after a surprise Russian invasion of the North Pole. The Russians now claim the entire Arctic as their territory, along with its untold oil riches. Fierce hand-to-hand combat was reported at San...

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Funny story: Tooth fairy suspended pending police checks

Tooth fairy suspended pending police checks

Children losing teeth will find no money under their pillows for many weeks as the government has ordered the tooth fairy to undergo police background checks before she can continue working with children. "Employees of all government funded organi...

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Funny story: Did Sarah Palin Shoot a Red-Nosed Reindeer?

Did Sarah Palin Shoot a Red-Nosed Reindeer?

Did Sarah Palin shoot a certain red-nosed reindeer? Is this causing Christmas to be cancelled due to Santa being unable to guide his sleigh and being broken up at the killing of his beloved differently-abled pet? Rumors swirl that the reindeer was...

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Funny story: Gary Glitter to become Santa Claus

Gary Glitter to become Santa Claus

The worlds favourite convicted kiddy tickler, Gary Glitter, has revealed some of his plans to revive his flagging career. Starting off with a tour of the UK's shopping centres during the upcoming festive season, Gary plans to perform the role of S...

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Funny story: Radovan Karadzic named First Mass Murderering Santa Claus!

Radovan Karadzic named First Mass Murderering Santa Claus!

After 13 years of an intensive manhunt, Slgrade's favorite Santa in July! Serbian official found Genocidal Mass Murderer Radovan Karadzic as Belgrade's favorite Santa in July. Apparently the brutal dictator has been mascaraing as Father Chris...

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Funny story: Santa Claus' Secret Identity Revealed

Santa Claus' Secret Identity Revealed

Santa Claus, also known as Father Christmas and Kris Kringle, will now be forced to use his birth name of Claus von Midgetporn, the owner and manager of Claus' House of Merriment, an adult novelties store in Avenel, New Jersey. This is all thank...

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Funny story: Santa Lays off Thousands

Santa Lays off Thousands

Every year on Christmas I would run down the stairs and look under the tree and in my stockings for the presents from Santa. Little did I know where those toys came from back then, now I know that they came from the elves, but not any more.

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