BILLINGSGATE POST: Bending over backwards is now second nature to Sleepy Joe Biden. After hibernating in his basement on his Deluxe Naugahyde BarcaLounger for the last year, he now walks bent over with a permanent reverse BarcaLounger list. But…
BILLINGSGATE POST: In an interview scheduled to be aired on Thursday, CNN’s Jake Tapper scores the first known interview of a dog with two assholes. The wily Tapper insisted that Joe Biden, along with his sidekick, Kamala “Breath” Harris, bring…
Newly-famous pet psychic Beth Lee-Crowther has come forward to offer guidance on what just happened to cause Mr. Biden's foot injury. According to The Daily Beast, Ms. Lee-Crowther, from the English midlands, has established telepathic contact wit…
There was mounting tension in Washington today, as, after his accident on Saturday, when President-elect Joseph Biden twisted his ankle in an incident involving one of his dogs, his medical team set about taking precautionary measures to try to ensur…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The all-female Russian heavy metal band, Pussy Riot, has been invited to perform at President Joe Biden’s gala inauguration party, to be held at the Kennedy Center Annex. The band, on Russian President Putin’s l…
LOS ANGELES – (Sports Satire) - The leader of the Los Angeles Lakers, LeBron James, says that now that the piece of shit loser, Donald Trump, is leaving in January, the Lakers will visit the White House. LeBron had said that as long as the "Racist…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since Pope Leo III crowned Charlemagne as Imperator Augustus on December 25, 800 has a man been so deified by the masses. Sleepy Joe the Great is in step to follow Charles the Great, who ruled the Holy Roman Empire until he die…
This week Mr. Biden appealed to the country to keep Thanksgiving small, very small, in order “to snuff out the virus.” It is now understood he was also seeking “behavior models” on this matter, and this has led to discovery of a LOF ready, willing…
DOVER, Delaware – (Satire News) – Vox Populi says that President-Elect Joe Biden is wasting no time in trying to patch up the US-Russia differences, and has agreed to meet with Russia’s President Putin in February. The planned meeting will take pl…
BILLINGSGATE POST: The sky is falling! So what to do? President-elect Joe Biden names John “Chicken Little” Kerry as his special presidential envoy for climate. In this morning’s New York Post, it was said that pundits have been laughing at Kerr…
BILLINGSGATE POST: With Sleepy Joe Biden apparently winning the presidential election and making appointments to his administration, Washingtonians are atwitter over the sightings of rare Nappy-Headed Nubians in the White House area once again. T…
DOVER, Delaware – (Satire News) – One of President-Elect Joe Biden’s aides has stated that Biden is seriously considering making Puerto Rico the 51st state. Biden has stated, on several occasions, that the United States will greatly benefit from t…
DOVER, Delaware – (Satire News) – iRumors is reporting that President-Elect Joe Biden, has been spending countless hours going over each one of the 823,402 Presidential Executive Orders that President Trump signed into law. The president-elect com…
BILLINGSGATE POST: After six months of silent hibernation in his basement, Rip Van Biden finally wakes up and can’t stop talking. “This can happen,” says noted Sleep Therapist, Dr. Quasimodo, who heads the Deep Sleep Department at Harvard Univers…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Rack up the balls, boys. Put away the cues. The Trumpster is on his way, and he ain’t gonna lose. Warning, Trump-haters. This could be just another giant rat f*ck: Using undercover methods first developed by Slim and Dirty…
BILLINGSGATE POST: What a way to lose an election - being nosed out by a hair-sniffing prevert. White House insiders, who wish to remain anonymous, claim that the President is having a difficult time adjusting to losing his White House digs to a…
In an astonishing statement from the White House, Donald Trump has claimed Joe Biden is ineligible to become President because he is half-Ugandan. "I have reliable information, 100 % true, that he was not born in Scranton Pennsylvania, but in Kampala…
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