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Funny satire stories about Christmas

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Funny story: Ten Comparisons between Santa Claus & David Cameron

Ten Comparisons between Santa Claus & David Cameron

The Comparisons between Santa and David Cameron 1. When the poor ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal, with Cameron, it's impossible. 2. Santa seldom answers the poor's you email, Cameron never answers the poor's emails. 3. Santa seldom answers the poor's mail, Cameron never answers the poor's mail. 4. Santa gets all the stuff he's got from k...

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Funny story: Baby Jesus Thief Unrepentant

Baby Jesus Thief Unrepentant

A Pennsylvania woman police have charged with heisting an 80-pound plaster-of-Paris Baby Jesus statuette reportedly has no remorse for her alleged actions. The hefty figurine was filched from its cradle in a nativity display in a strip mall in Virgi...

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Funny story: Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner's Christmas TV Special "The Damn Grinch Who Stole Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" Named The Season's Best

Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner's Christmas TV Special "The Damn Grinch Who Stole Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" Named The Season's Best

HOLLYWOOD - Every Christmas season all of the networks schedule dozens and dozens of holiday themed shows, old time Christmas movies, and oodles of seasonal cartoons geared to holly jolly olde St. Nick and the other cast of Christmasy folks. This...

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Funny story: The Kardashian Christmas Carol

The Kardashian Christmas Carol

Sung to the tune of "God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen" God rest Merry Kardashians On Christmas we must say, You sound like four old cackling hens In constant disarray. Reality TV was great, Till you became cliché. Butt implants, Botox and breasts deployed. We jumped for joy. Oh, butt implants, Botox and breasts deployed. Momma Kris is family pimp "Their pictures for a price" The...

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Funny story: Family Christmas Is Tough Call When Mum Visits

Family Christmas Is Tough Call When Mum Visits

Many mums don't enjoy visiting their grown-up children's homes for Christmas because they believe they could do a better job. Fourteen per cent say they get bored and a similar number feel annoyed at not being allowed to help in the kitchen. Th...

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Funny story: William Hague's Ode to Christmas

William Hague's Ode to Christmas

I've much to be glad for, like my personal assistants Julian and Lucien, Ffion the Mrs, and Wilberforce, my cosmetic beautician, My overseas investments in Germany, Saudi Arabia and the Aleutian, And the fact that I'm a billionaire politician! Now Christmas approaches, time to share and give to the poor, That's what they say, but I think that idea is a bore, The proletariat masses, drunken...

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Funny story: Harriet Harman Identifies Top Most Socially Destructive Melodies Systematically Imposed on Society by Late Year Faith-Focused Event: 2011 Edition

Harriet Harman Identifies Top Most Socially Destructive Melodies Systematically Imposed on Society by Late Year Faith-Focused Event: 2011 Edition

Despite having considerably less to do than ever before, Harriet Harman has rather breathlessly published her now annual Early Winter Warning to Britons, reminding them that what seems like a melodic tribute to the slyly called 'Festive Season', is i...

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Funny story: Sir Bruce Forsythe's estranged wig off on hols for Christmas

Sir Bruce Forsythe's estranged wig off on hols for Christmas

With Christmas fast approaching, news reaches us that Simon Cowell and his merry band of brown nosers are not the only ones off on an annual winter break this year. After many years of loyal service, Sir Bruce Forsythe's wig, Stanley, is off on a...

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Funny story: Dyslexic Man Proclaims Bah Humbug after Bedbug Infestation

Dyslexic Man Proclaims Bah Humbug after Bedbug Infestation

Filing an insect nuisance report with the New York Department of Adult Entertainment Licensing and Insect Eradication, a man who had first said his name was Pike Marker, claims that his entire apartment complex is "wovered cith humbugs", apparently j...

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Funny story: Santa Postpones Christmas After Dasher, Blitzen and Vixen Sent to Jail

Santa Postpones Christmas After Dasher, Blitzen and Vixen Sent to Jail

North Pole lawyers were busy this week at the Elf County Courthouse, trying to arrange bail and some time sensitive freedom for Dasher, Blitzen and Vixen, three of Santa's primary reindeer team. Judge Judy Friesfrost denied an early release based on...

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Funny story: The Worst Selling Christmas Toys For 2011

The Worst Selling Christmas Toys For 2011

Some of this years biggest selling Christmas season toys include The LeapFrog LeapPad Explorer Tablet, The Lalaloopsy Silly Hair Doll, The Trash Pack Trashies Garbage Truck, Crayola Crayon Makers, Monster High Dolls, Nerf Vortex Nitron Blaster, and Transformers Dark of the Moon Ultimate Optimus Prime But on the other side of the coin are Christmas toys that no one is purchasing. The highly re...

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Funny story: Bah, Humbug! Great British Eccentrics Hold Christmas Party In Stately Home

Bah, Humbug! Great British Eccentrics Hold Christmas Party In Stately Home

Oldham Hall, Gloucestershire, England. - The last of a dying breed of great British eccentrics held their annual Christmas get together here on Saturday night. The guest list read like a who's who of traditional crackpots, foul mouthed harridans, psy...

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Funny story: Twitter Birdies Celebrate at Holiday Party, Create After-hours Mischief

Twitter Birdies Celebrate at Holiday Party, Create After-hours Mischief

What a disgrace! At the annual Twitter holiday party, many of the birdies drank too much. Way too much. Some were still in jail the next day, having been arrested for FUI (Flying Under the Influence) violations on the way home. Onlookers w...

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Funny story: How the Royals celebrate Christmas

How the Royals celebrate Christmas

At Christmas time, ones thoughts often turn to Britain's second family, the Windsors. There are many connections between the Royal Family and Christmas - the Queen's speech; the fact that we lick the back of her head dozens of times in the weeks running up to Christmas; or that Jesus also had two birthdays. New member of the Royals, Kate Middleton, will be celebrating her first Christmas at Buc...

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Funny story: The Hams of Death - A Christmas Story

The Hams of Death - A Christmas Story

The thin man with bruised knuckles had sprawled out across a vintage creaky green and yellow plaid La-Z-Boy with one knee slightly bent so his bare feet could avail themselves of every last square inch of fully extended footrest. Lounging in a wife beater tee and duck patterned boxers, the mid life crisis poster child was nothing more than an unlikely American tourist turned writer who found hims...

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Funny story: Waste not want not this year - scientific proof that cranberry sauce successfully treats piles.

Waste not want not this year - scientific proof that cranberry sauce successfully treats piles.

After comprehensive research by scientists in Geneva, proof has been published that the popular festive condiment of cranberry sauce not only compliments turkey, but also combats the misery of piles. Over a duration of 6 months, experimental resea...

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Funny story: Bah Humbug! Local Man develops Man Flu and Yuppie Flu at the same time

Bah Humbug! Local Man develops Man Flu and Yuppie Flu at the same time

Christmas may be a time of mistletoe and wine, but it is also a time of coughs and sniffles, and it seems that the long winter months are being blamed for a sharp rise in cases of combined Yuppie/Man Flu (or YuMF for short). Practitioners describe th...

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