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Funny satire stories about Chelsea FC

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Funny story: Ashley Cole Arrested For Being Ashley Cole

Ashley Cole Arrested For Being Ashley Cole

Problems in the capital this morning, as Chelsea and England defender Ashley Cole, the husband of the Britain's Got Talent judge, Cheryl Cole, was arrested by police and charged with being Ashley Cole. Police raided west London's Collection Bar &a...

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Funny story: Bagpuss To Manage Chelsea

Bagpuss To Manage Chelsea

Chelsea FC today announced that Bagpuss will take over from Guus Hiddink in the summer. A club insider denied that the appointment was further proof that Roman Abrahamovich was struggling financially. "Bagpuss is not a short term appointment. We beli...

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Funny story: Beckham And Mourinho For Chelsea?

Beckham And Mourinho For Chelsea?

David Beckham, the LA Galaxy star currently on loan to AC Milan, is this morning the subject of further transfer speculation, after it was reported that he was involved in a secret conversation with Inter Milan boss Jose Mourinho at the weekend. M...

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Funny story: Chelsea Sack Guus Hiddink

Chelsea Sack Guus Hiddink

New Chelsea boss Guus Hiddink has been sensationally sacked from his new post after only a week in the job, according to a report in a West Ham pub. Hiddink, prised from his full-time job as the coach of the Russian national team, turned up for tr...

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Funny story: Droylsden To Be Reinstated Into FA Cup

Droylsden To Be Reinstated Into FA Cup

In the shock of the FA Cup fifth round so far, non-league Droylsden, who had been thrown out of the competition for fielding an inelligible player, are to be reinstated. The reason for this, say the FA, is to inject some romance into the Cup, to r...

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Funny story: John Terry Transfer Shock

John Terry Transfer Shock

Sources close to Stamford Bridge have said that Chelsea and England captain John Terry may be on his way out of the club amid claims that "the dressing room is divided". Terry said in an interview last week, that he had supported sacked boss Luiz...

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Funny story: New Chelsea Drama As 'Guus Hiddink' Discovered To Mean Something Rude In Holland

New Chelsea Drama As 'Guus Hiddink' Discovered To Mean Something Rude In Holland

There was a new twist to the Chelsea managerial saga this morning, when language experts who had worked through the night discovered that the strange-sounding name of the new boss, Dutchman Guus Hiddink, means something rude in Holland. Hiddink,...

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Funny story: Kinnear in frame for Chelsea job

Kinnear in frame for Chelsea job

Newcastle manager Joe Kinnear is on the Chelsea wish list to replace Luiz Felipe Scolari. Sky News reports the Newcastle manager's recent hospitalisation has been a cloak so he could start negotiations with Stamford Bridge. A Chelsea spokesman...

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Funny story: Hull City Fans Horror At State Of Chelsea Toilets

Hull City Fans Horror At State Of Chelsea Toilets

There was widespread condemnation from Hull City fans at Stamford Bridge today, over what they described as the 'unhygienic state of toilet facilities' provided for away fans at Chelsea. Some fans claimed the toilets were "not fit for animals", an...

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Funny story: FA To Legalise Bosingwa Challenge

FA To Legalise Bosingwa Challenge

The Football Association has acted swiftly and decisively to quell a brewing riot over a challenge made by Chelsea star Jose Bosingwa in Sunday's Premiership battle at Anfield. Bosingwa nade the challenge on Liverpool's Yossi Benayoun which would...

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Funny story: Robbie Keane Wore Spurs Scarf At Liverpool v. Chelsea Game Last Sunday

Robbie Keane Wore Spurs Scarf At Liverpool v. Chelsea Game Last Sunday

Fans who were sitting near Robbie Keane at Anfield last Sunday during the Liverpool v. Chelsea game, have said that even before his transfer back to White Hart Lane had been announced, the player was wearing a Tottenham scarf around his neck. Kean...

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Funny story: Liverpool v. Chelsea Match Could Decide Runners-up Spot

Liverpool v. Chelsea Match Could Decide Runners-up Spot

As Manchester United opened up a 5-point gap at the top of the Premier League yesterday, football analysts were saying that today's game at Anfield between Liverpool and Chelsea could effectively be a play-off for second spot. United are looking a...

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Funny story: Chelsea Fans Who Left Early To Have Their Season Tickets Confiscated

Chelsea Fans Who Left Early To Have Their Season Tickets Confiscated

A briiliant comeback by Chelsea saw them beat Stoke City 2-1 at Stamford Bridge this afternoon, but there was bad news for many hundreds of the Blues fans who had already walked out of the ground early- they are to have their season tickets confiscat...

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Funny story: Disgusted Chelsea Fan Bins Season Ticket

Disgusted Chelsea Fan Bins Season Ticket

A drunken Chelsea supporter was so disgusted about his team's uncharacteristically shambolic performance in the 3-0 defeat against Manchester United on Saturday, that he went straight down to the Stamford Bridge ground after the game, and nailed his...

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Funny story: Chelsea 'Better' Than Southend - Scolari

Chelsea 'Better' Than Southend - Scolari

Big Phil Scolari announced in a press conference today that Chelsea were a better team than Southend. Which should come as no surprise to seasoned football fans the world over, considering that the current squad of Chelsea players cost something i...

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Funny story: No Panic At Stamford Bridge

No Panic At Stamford Bridge

A flower vendor outside Fulham Broadway tube station today announced categorically that there was no crisis at Stamford Bridge. Rumours abounded that Roman Abramovich, the Chelsea 'owner' was 'not best pleased' with his multi-million pound team's...

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Funny story: Sales Of Armchairs On Increase On Fulham Road

Sales Of Armchairs On Increase On Fulham Road

Several furniture stores in South London appear to have bucked the current economic trend, and have reported a marked increase in the sales of living room furniture, particularly armchairs and footstools, says a report. Two stores, Feather & B...

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