New York - Barack Obama has been outed as Kanye West's birth father in a DNA test published today. Findings from New York's Seedy Sign Eye Mammorial Hospital's paternity division reveal Kanye's actual father is the President. And the rapper's...
Mars One wants to send two dozen people to Mars, and Peter Felgentreff, 50, may well be one of them. For as long as he can remember, he's been "curious" about science, he gushes. His curiosity about what it would be like to live on Mars motivat...
In response to mounting criticism both at home and abroad President Obama told White House staffers this morning that he fully intends to do a full Samuel L Jackson on terrorism 'in any shape or form, any place in the world' - including Faux News's B...
President Obama gave the following address today: I would be willing to wager any amount with any member of the Tea Party that they could not pass the test given to immigrants desiring American citizenship. If flag waving Bible Belting assholes like Ted Cruz or Mike Huckleberry or Ted Cruz or Rick Perry can pass this test i will kiss their fat ignorant asses!" Here's a self-test for YOU t...
On a crowded airplane flight aboard Alaska Airlines, a female passenger (not Sarah Palin) and a scorpion struggled over a seat, resulting in the scorpion's biting the woman's hand. Flight 567 was approaching the runway when the incident occurred.
The Pentagon reacted with surprise to intelligence that ISIS has encroached upon U. S. military forces training Iraqi troops. "We're concerned," Rear Admiral Howe Cudditbee confessed. "We're also perplexed. How could 40,000 terrorists who have bee...
WASHINGTON D.C.- Forget candy and flowers, they've been done to death for Valentine's Day. This year, show your love by forcing your special someone to sign up for something they probably don't want - Obamacare! Who wouldn't want to be surprised with...
Speaking to a crowd in Iowa, U. S. Vice-president-in-Charge-of-Vice Joe Bidet outed himself as a "recovering homosexual" today. Before an audience of ten or fifteen supporters, Bidet gave a shout out to an old friend, calling, "Neal Smith, old but...
WASHINGTON, DC - Citizens in all 50 states should be forced by the Supreme Court to be gay-married, President Barack Obama has decreed. The directive marks another phase in Obama's progressive shift on gay marriage, which has included declarations...
Following the revolutionary "No Child Will Escape" Act of 2001 fronted by George W. Bush and signed into law on Jan, 8, 2002, Barack Obama has launched his own follow-up "No Child Can Ever Escape" education bill which will be passed shortly with no f...
GOP leaders held a press conference after the news that job growth continued to expand dramatically under Democratic guidance. John Boehner surrounded by Ted Cruz and other Tea Party notables announced today: "This president with his pro growth policies is forcing folks back to work to make his Libtards look good before the 2016 election!" Washington reporter Candy Cookie asked him; " Are yo...
BILLINGSGATE POST: German Chancellor Angela Merkel performed a dominatrix hat trick on willing participant Barack Obama as Vladimir Putin watched on with bemused interest. With the fate of Ukraine hanging in balance, President Barack Obama allowed...
What was claimed to be a U.S. made search and destroy drone was shot down by a SAM this morning. No casualties were reported. The drone "hit" was claimed by by Mustapha Badpun of the Doner Kebab staff. A spokesman for the Turkish kebab house told...
In the wake of Bri Willyums' lies about his "adventures and misadventures in and out of combat," renewed interest has arisen with regard to former First Lady-Senator-presidential candidate-Secretary of State Hillbilly Clinton's claim that she landed...
GOP leaders held a press conference after the news that job growth continued to expand dramatically under Democratic guidance. John Boehner surrounded by Ted Cruz and other Tea Party notables announced today: "This president with his pro growth po...
The National Prayer Breakfast held yesterday is hosted by members of the United States Congress. It has often had controversial speakers. President Obama, himself, is now in that category as yesterday. He initially attacked the Islamic State as...
When Speaker of the House John Boehner invited Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to address a joint session of Congress without White House permission, the tsunami backlash began. It is protocol that before someone is invited to address a joi...
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