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Funny satire stories about Banks

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Funny story: How It Works No. 23; Banking

How It Works No. 23; Banking

1) As a banker, play Monopoly with your Company's money. Win to get a massive bonus, lose and still get a large bonus. Negotiate an obscene pension. 2) Lose £billions in careless gambling and bring your bank to the brink of ruin. 3) Persuade Government that your bank is too important to be left to die a natural death, and that thousands of jobs will be at risk if the bank goes under. 4) G...

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Funny story: Protests after banker makes money

Protests after banker makes money

There were widespread protests around the UK today, after a banker was heard to have made money from his job at his local bank. The banker, who cannot be named, works for HSRBOS and is said to take home a five figure sum each year. He has claimed...

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Funny story: Sir Fred Goodwin 'Laughs Off' RBS Losses

Sir Fred Goodwin 'Laughs Off' RBS Losses

Sir Fred Goodwin, the former boss of the Royal Bank of Scotland, who receives a £650,000-a-year pension from them after he completely wrecked it, has today laughed-off the the bank's £24billion losses, saying that "it's only money". Prime Minister...

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Funny story: Prime Minister announces National holiday for 'Be Kind To A Banker Day'

Prime Minister announces National holiday for 'Be Kind To A Banker Day'

Next week the Government is to announce a new National Holiday in Britain called 'BE KIND TO A BANKER DAY'. The aim of the holiday is to dispel the animosity between the the public and the financial sector. When asked about this radical proposal...

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Funny story: Obamas uncle Rasmus to head Federal Bank

Obamas uncle Rasmus to head Federal Bank

In what can only be described as a major surprise to Wall Street the President has appointed his Uncle Rasmus to head the Federal Bank. When questioned by Reporters regarding his Uncle's ability to deal with Financial Institutions and the major b...

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Funny story: Bank of Upper Podunk Issues Financial Outlook

Bank of Upper Podunk Issues Financial Outlook

Podunk USA: The Bank of Upper Podunk (BUP) has issued a letter to its millions of customers, investors and shareholders around the world. BUP wants its clients to have confidence and be assured that there are "no problems" with their corporate bankin...

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Funny story: USA renamed USSR, Obama announces

USA renamed USSR, Obama announces

American President Barack Obama today announced that the USA was changing its name to the USSR, to keep in line with its government's recent actions. 'Yes, indeedy doody', he said, 'Comrades. We are now the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, and...

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Funny story: Obama's shocking "stimulus package" for Bankers

Obama's shocking "stimulus package" for Bankers

With the Senate finally approving Barak Obama's $787billion stimulus package for the economy, a little-read sub-section in small print on page 492 has come to light. $8000 of the money is to be used to "stimulate" the testicles of Bank executives...

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Funny story: Bank chiefs to take bonuses in yoghurt

Bank chiefs to take bonuses in yoghurt

Executives of banks taking government recapitalisation will receive their bonuses in yoghurt. The move by the Treasury to force heads of failed banks follows similar initiatives from President Barack Obama in the US. Lloyds Banking Group and Ro...

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Funny story: The ATNIC Pandemic

The ATNIC Pandemic

At first, there was no money. Then gold, silver, and precious metals were made into coins, for convenience. Then somebody came up with a "get-rich-quick" scheme, and invented paper money, because precious metals (henceforth called gold) were too heavy and inconvenient. Of course, there was no limit to the supply of paper money, other than the speed at which trees could be turned into paper. So...

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Funny story: U.S. bank bailout to rely on Monopoly money, armed guards, assault weapons

U.S. bank bailout to rely on Monopoly money, armed guards, assault weapons

Wall Street produced the global financial and economic crisis but it may take a beloved 75-year-old game to solve it. The Obama administration is preparing a revised bailout plan for the banking system, calling on Wall Street bankers and 'Fat Cat...

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Funny story: Barclays' secret payment secrets

Barclays' secret payment secrets

Rumours circulating in parliament this morning suggested that the British Government has contacted the board of Barclays Bank demanding an immediate explanation on recent bonus payments. It follows revelations in today's papers that Barclays had pa...

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Funny story: Banking Thriller Heads German Film Festival

Banking Thriller Heads German Film Festival

The annual Berlin film festival opened Thursday with "The International," a thriller from German director Tom Tykwer centering on an Interpol agent's pursuit of a powerful bank's illicit activities. Two unknown actors, Ginny Mae and Freddie Mack,...

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Funny story: CEO's And Economists Shot - Stock Markets Soar

CEO's And Economists Shot - Stock Markets Soar

The world side recession surprisingly ended abruptly today after the CEO's, Investors and Economists responsible for causing the downturn by bilking investors, gouging company finances and lying to the public were taken out and shot. Borrowing fr...

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Funny story: Banking System Explained by Joe the Soda Jerk

Banking System Explained by Joe the Soda Jerk

PARKER, Colorado - Joe the Soda Jerk, of Woolpuke's Drugs, explained to a large crowd of reporters at 9am today, exactly what is going on in the banking world under the opaque TARP - where the money is really going. "Let's say your a banker. You make money by sticking a straw up people and sucking out what ever is inside, aspartame, blood, whatever they got. "Well, one day, you get it all.

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Funny story: Obama To Wall Street: Bonuses To Be Paid In Pennies

Obama To Wall Street: Bonuses To Be Paid In Pennies

(Washington, D.C.) A day after President Obama read an article that Wall Street bankers paid themselves 18 billion dollars in bonuses out of the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP), funds allocated to open up lending and credit, the President is pro...

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Funny story: December Mortgage Figures Show 'Recovery'

December Mortgage Figures Show 'Recovery'

The financial sector has hailed the first green shoots of recovery, following the surprise announcement that mortgage approvals had unexpectedly risen for December 2008. The rise, announced by the Bank of England today, shows that mortgage lending...

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