US and Global corporations have been competing in the multi network scary reality show, The Biggest Loser. In the early showing the Americant auto industry seemed to be the certain favorite as they lost trunk loads of dough and still refused to cease...
Figures released today show that criminal gangs are using Cash Machines all over the UK. Innocent members of the public are being tricked into giving over their hard earned money to these criminals, and then these same criminals are using cash m...
In a sign of the spread of the bonus culture in banking, it has been announced that the people who check the work of the regulator who checks on City bonuses is also getting a bonus! "Nobody is prepared just to do a job for a basic wage these day...
A leading member of the Government has publicly vowed to strip a banker. In a speech made to an audience of zero Harriet Harmless said "I will make sure that I strip a banker. I'm going to claw everything. Those pinstripe suits look fab, but I want t...
NEW YORK, N.Y. - UPDATE1 Mr. Rockenfella announced today, to a large crowd on the street, that bankers here are turning to the public for a bailout. Billions of dollars just can't fill the bill for this item. "Many of us bankers here are misplaci...
NEW YORK, N.Y. (Doomberg) -- HOGS Holdings Plc, Europe's biggest bank by waistline size, may raise as much as 12 billion pounds ($17 billion) to bolster capital as toxic U.S. loans zap earnings, said two people behind a post office. The bank will...
(New York-NY) The universe officially ended today, but in a surprising reaction the Dow Jones average rose fifty-percent. Its highest gain in, since time no longer exists those details were unavailable as of this writing. The fifty-percent gain p...
Ex-RBS boss Sir Fred Goodwin has defended himself over charges he demanded a massive £16m pension pot to get out quick. As Downing Street and the Treasury pressure Sir Fred to give up his £650,000 a year pension, he has rounded on them saying he i...
1) As a banker, play Monopoly with your Company's money. Win to get a massive bonus, lose and still get a large bonus. Negotiate an obscene pension. 2) Lose £billions in careless gambling and bring your bank to the brink of ruin. 3) Persuade Government that your bank is too important to be left to die a natural death, and that thousands of jobs will be at risk if the bank goes under. 4) G...
There were widespread protests around the UK today, after a banker was heard to have made money from his job at his local bank. The banker, who cannot be named, works for HSRBOS and is said to take home a five figure sum each year. He has claimed...
Sir Fred Goodwin, the former boss of the Royal Bank of Scotland, who receives a £650,000-a-year pension from them after he completely wrecked it, has today laughed-off the the bank's £24billion losses, saying that "it's only money". Prime Minister...
Next week the Government is to announce a new National Holiday in Britain called 'BE KIND TO A BANKER DAY'. The aim of the holiday is to dispel the animosity between the the public and the financial sector. When asked about this radical proposal...
In what can only be described as a major surprise to Wall Street the President has appointed his Uncle Rasmus to head the Federal Bank. When questioned by Reporters regarding his Uncle's ability to deal with Financial Institutions and the major b...
Podunk USA: The Bank of Upper Podunk (BUP) has issued a letter to its millions of customers, investors and shareholders around the world. BUP wants its clients to have confidence and be assured that there are "no problems" with their corporate bankin...
American President Barack Obama today announced that the USA was changing its name to the USSR, to keep in line with its government's recent actions. 'Yes, indeedy doody', he said, 'Comrades. We are now the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, and...
With the Senate finally approving Barak Obama's $787billion stimulus package for the economy, a little-read sub-section in small print on page 492 has come to light. $8000 of the money is to be used to "stimulate" the testicles of Bank executives...
Executives of banks taking government recapitalisation will receive their bonuses in yoghurt. The move by the Treasury to force heads of failed banks follows similar initiatives from President Barack Obama in the US. Lloyds Banking Group and Ro...
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