Part #6: Factual Facts To Impress Your Date:
10. Shorthand was invented by a monk in the 16th century who actually had no hands, but wrote with his penis.
9. The earliest computers were so large that their vacuum tubes were the size of a railroad car.
8. In 2009, the checker champion of Heavenly Acres Nursing Home, Larry Putt, had to relinquish his title after steroids were present in h...
Part #5: Factual Facts To Impress Your Date:
10. The fastest animal in the world for a short distance is the squirrel, dodging your car and running around it and under it and twice across the road and back in ten seconds!
9. There has never been a Jewish person by the name of Rambo!
8. Before people began yelling "Geronimo!" as they jumped out of airplanes, the most heard word was, "Para...
"We have an unemployment problem in this country because job seekers continue to ask dumb questions. It has nothing to do with the economy." So says Fred Erator, author of "Why The F--k Do You Think I'm Not Hiring You?" out today.
"People want to hire someone that can do the job, sure, but also someone they can tolerate," continues Erator. "I mean, I could hire my wife to be my secretary, but I...
A recent survey made on 10,000 people has revealed that the one act that would split up most couples is if either partner slept with the other person's mother.
The survey, published in the women's magazine "OMG!" showed that 65% of those surveyed...
Formulated by Inchcock Chambers, our intrepid decrepit unpaid reporter, who presents for your delectation, his explanation in single rhyming words, of life's path.
From Conception to Ascension - with all the annoying aspects and problems in between getting a mention.
His flair for the creative thinking process has been recorded in the 'Most Annoying Thicko's Register'.
Conception - Creati...
#10. In certain villages in remote areas of Peru, any woman who uses a man as her bed covering during the night is considered to be married.
#9. The Number one nickname among the North's Eskimo people is "Mo".
#8 The average male will have gravity cause his balls to drop a full six inches between the age of 40 and the age of 70. Yet, THERE ARE NO COSMETIC BALL SURGEONS ANYWHERE IN THE US OR...
Following are some generally unknown facts that you can use while on a date with that new Girl/Guy:
10. The longest mile that was ever recorded was 5,281.5 feet long!
9. The singer Joe Cocker learned his famous jerky style of singing as a 6-year-old after eating 10 peach tree seeds after a dare.
8. Linguists tell us that while everyone says that they have eaten corn on the cob, in truth,...
1. Until the outbreak of terrorism against the United States in 2001, guards at airports usually kept their eyes opened for big boobs, rear ends.
2. At Brigham Young University, tail-gaiting football fans usually cook barbecued chicken, open kegs of Near Beer!
3. According to those that were here at the time, the U.S. Census for 1490 showed over ten million buffalo!
4. According to how it...
1. The number one fear of all men is public speaking. However, the number two fear is that their next cellmate has a whopper.
2. Most people today believe that the Macarena came from Latin America. However, it was actually copied from a dance by President Jimmy Carter's brother, Billy, after drinking too much beer before getting into the line to see the two-headed goat at Ye Auld Peanut Days in...
A recent study of working practises within the UK, by the New Labour Gratification Committee, had decided that serving alcohol in the workplace would be beneficial for the following reasons:
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communication.
4. It reduces complaint about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a ha...
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome:I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localised form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That's why women cannot shut their flipping mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges: Women are social chameleons - or...
1. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
2. A woman can never be blamed if it's wet on the floor around the toilet bowl.
3. If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected.
4. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time.
We are inundated every day with facts and figures from times past.
We are told of the daring deeds of adventurous souls, explorers, inventors and achievers of great human endeavors.
But how often have you wondered about things that Never happened?
I am guessing Never.
But that is immaterial, because I have compiled a list of the top 5 Historical events to have NEVER happened.
"When you're single…"
1. You get the whole couch to yourself.
2. There's half as much housework, cooking, and cleaning to do.
3. You can watch whatever TV channel you like, without arguments.
4. You can get home from work at whatever time you like.
5. You get to eat the whole "meal for two" by yourself.
6. There are fewer important birthdays (spouse, kids, spouse's parents, etc)...
These are the top ten reasons why Sharon Osbourne should NEVER EVER be a judge on ANY TALENT SHOW:
10. Sharon Osbourne has NO talent
9. Sharon Osbourne has NO talent
8. Sharon Osbourne has NO talent
7. Sharon Osbourne has NO talent
6. Sharon Osbourne has NO talent
5. Sharon Osbourne has NO talent
4. Sharon Osbourne has NO talent
3. Sharon Osbourne has...
Here are the Top Ten reasons why YOU should become a Spoof Writer:
10. It's an outlet for your frustrations
9. You will be on a site with people as crazy (or crazier) that you are
8. You can be 'anyone' you wish to be
7. You can say anything you wish to say (within reason)
6. If you have an 'addictive personality' this is for YOU
5. If your grammar and spelling a...
The World Music Federation has concluded a world wide survey of the best of popular music of all time. The results are bound to cause uproar throughout the entertainment industry.
TOP Popular Music is 'Anarchy in the UK' by the Sex Pistols.
The choice may overturn the British Government.
Second was 'Empty Bed Blues' by Bessie Smith.
Public sympathy for this choice is assured.
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