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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Capello's Philosophy - World Exclusive

Capello's Philosophy - World Exclusive

There were strong denials from the Football Association that the agreement to continue with Fabio Capello, the Mafia boss, as England manager, was based on non-footballing judgements. The dead cat found in the FA Chairman's bed and the bleeding pi...

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Funny story: Holland Beat Brazil After 'Halftime Wank'

Holland Beat Brazil After 'Halftime Wank'

There were celebrations in Holland last night, as the unfancied Dutch World Cup team overcame the giants of South American football, Brazil, in their exciting 2-1 quarter final in Port Elizabeth. Holland had to come back from being a goal down, an...

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Funny story: It's Karl 'HEINZ' Rummenigge

It's Karl 'HEINZ' Rummenigge

FLATULENT Germans awoke today to find a welcome addition to their Full English: A serving of HEINZ baked beans in tomato sauce. It seems our sausage eating cousins now have a REAR guard weapon in their ARSE nal which is sure to put the WIND up us.

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Funny story: Brazil to mimic England system

Brazil to mimic England system

Brazil head coach Carlos Dunga is said to be leaning towards adopting a rigid 4-4-2 system for the remainder of the World Cup. It is said that he has been swayed to the merits of the system by the success of footballing minnow England, who manage...

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Funny story: John Terry And Steven Gerrard To Holiday Together In Benidorm In Bonding Exercise

John Terry And Steven Gerrard To Holiday Together In Benidorm In Bonding Exercise

Unreliable sources reliably inform us unreliably that John Terry and Steven Gerrard are to holiday together in Benidorm with their respective partners in a teambuilding cum bonding exercise - following England's monumental World Cup fuck up, which th...

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Funny story: England's National Football Team, Like The Grand Country of England Herself Has Done Before, Will Rise Again!

England's National Football Team, Like The Grand Country of England Herself Has Done Before, Will Rise Again!

LONDON - An American stand up comedian, Zydeco Dupree, who resides down in the Tar Ball State of Louisiana, has attended most all of the World Cup Finals games in South Africa. He saw the German team defeat the English team 4-1. or is it the Briti...

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Funny story: Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan Has Suspended The Entire Nigerian World Cup Team

Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan Has Suspended The Entire Nigerian World Cup Team

ABUJA, Nigeria - The president of Nigeria Goodluck Jonathan was so disappointed at the Nigerian National Team's performance in the South African World Cup Finals that he has suspended every single player for two years. President Jonathan said that...

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Funny story: Argentine World Cup Squad Rushed to Hospital with Back Problems after Bending Down for Maradona's Bear Hugs After every Goal.

Argentine World Cup Squad Rushed to Hospital with Back Problems after Bending Down for Maradona's Bear Hugs After every Goal.

The entire Argentinean football team has been in intensive physio for three days in preparation for the match with Germany. The players are all suffering various degrees of back trouble after being on the receiving end of hugs and kisses from their c...

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Funny story: German team arrested for cheating England in world cup

German team arrested for cheating England in world cup

Last night the whole German team was under arrest for the most dastardly plan to deny the wonderful English team their place in the world cup. As the German team was at Johannesburg airport the ball used in the match set off bomb sensors. When the...

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Funny story: No Comment Offered On England World Cup Squad Internal Warfare

No Comment Offered On England World Cup Squad Internal Warfare

Following the publication of certain 'rumours' alleging that the England World Cup squad was a party divided by loyalties relating to one side or another of the allegedly warring factions, centred around two prominent squad members, Skoob News set ou...

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Funny story: The "Truth" Behind England World Cup Squad Disharmony

The "Truth" Behind England World Cup Squad Disharmony

The truth behind England's disastrous World Cup showing has been revealed to Skoob News, and it all boils down to disharmony in the England camp, bordering on internal warfare between squad members. News of this trench warfare is currently subject...

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Funny story: England Back In World Cup! Will Play Argentina On Saturday!

England Back In World Cup! Will Play Argentina On Saturday!

In an amazing turnaround, world football's governing body, FIFA, have this evening announced that, after hours of deliberation and viewing videotape evidence of the Germany v. England match which the Germans won 4-1, they have decided that a disputed...

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Funny story: Capello Defiant After Narrow Defeat

Capello Defiant After Narrow Defeat

England boss Fabio Capello remained in typically defiant mood last night following a NARROW 4-1 defeat at the hands of arch enemies Germany. Adopted Englishman Capello insisted, through an interpreter, "Our brave Tommies overcame the evils of Naz...

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Funny story: England Players To Receive 'Kick In The Balls' For Poor World Cup Performances

England Players To Receive 'Kick In The Balls' For Poor World Cup Performances

The FA today summoned all players and staff who went on England's disastrous 2010 World Cup jaunt to South Africa to a meeting at Lancaster Gate, where 'remedial action' for their poor performances was on the agenda. It was decided that: "the play...

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Funny story: England football team arrive home, next stop, Afghanistan

England football team arrive home, next stop, Afghanistan

Due to a shortage of cannon fodder, the Ministry of Defence have decide to take the unusual step of conscripting the ex England squad, as it is felt that they could serve their country better, for the amount of money they get, on the front line.

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Funny story: Cristiano Ronaldo: "I'm better than Messi"

Cristiano Ronaldo: "I'm better than Messi"

Real Madrid and Portugese winger Cristiano Ronaldo insists 'Lionel Messi is the most overrated player ever to grace a football pitch.' The Portugese superstar believes he is better, and has apparent hard evidence to back this up. "Just take a l...

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Funny story: Manchester United sign Emile Heskey

Manchester United sign Emile Heskey

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has yet again shocked the world by making which some call the shrewdest of shrewd buying. He has picked up Emile Heskey at an extremely low price of 23 million pounds. "I am very happy to be at a club th...

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