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Funny story: Bush to retire and "Grow some flowers"

Bush to retire and "Grow some flowers"

In news that will shock the Western World, President Bush today announced that he is to retire from Public Office by the end of the month and, "follow the flowers to San Francisco".

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Funny story: New Health Scare As Man Chokes On Mars Bar

New Health Scare As Man Chokes On Mars Bar

After the recent Foot & Mouth, E-Coli and Legionnaires Disease outbreaks, a new scare has this morning raised calls from health officials for a total ban on Mars Bars.

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Funny story: Blast From The Past? Not aff!

Blast From The Past? Not aff!

Joe Dolce, the Shaddup you face croonster, is cock-a-hoop over his new venture.

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Funny story: "Lineker had Self Esteem Issues" claims ex lover.

"Lineker had Self Esteem Issues" claims ex lover.

In a story to be published this weekend Beauty queen Ms Hallam claims that retired soccer star and ex Leicester gangster, Gary Lineker had "Self esteem issues that went far beyond his big ears and small penis."...

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Funny story: Ron Paul and the Pied Piper Scandal

Ron Paul and the Pied Piper Scandal

Presidential candidate Ron Paul was stung yesterday after rivals exposed his use of a performance enhancing character. So far the Ron Paul campaign has had no comment on the allegations that it employed the legendary Pied Piper to dr...

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Funny story: Boy R Squared Has Boffins Baffled

Boy R Squared Has Boffins Baffled

Jason Mason, from Bognor on Thames, is today the talk of the medical world. For the plucky ten-year old has become the first person in the UK diagnosed with Mathematical Tourettes Syndrome, or as it's better known, MDF.

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Funny story: Wot! No kidding? Mr Chad Is Back

Wot! No kidding? Mr Chad Is Back

Iconic World War 2 cartoon figure, Mr Chad, has been discovered hiding in the New Forest and seemingly not aware that the war is over.

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Funny story: Airplane explosion due to being "repaired in China"

Airplane explosion due to being "repaired in China"

Japan, Tokyo (The Lies) - The cause of the China Airlines Boeing 737-800 explosion last Saturday has been put down to it being "repaired in China".

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Funny story: Kevin Andrews deported, Australia rejoices

Kevin Andrews deported, Australia rejoices

Australia, Melbourne (The Lies) - A shock turn around in the Mohamed Haneef immigration case where the Immigration Minister, Kevin Andrews, has been asked to leave the country indefinitely.

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Funny story: Canada to be Absorbed by USA Says Canadian Leader

Canada to be Absorbed by USA Says Canadian Leader

OTTAWA (FMLiveWire) - Canada and Mexico will be absorbed into the United States empire under the guise of secret Security and Prosperity Partnership meetings acknowledged Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper in an exclusive interview with FMLiv...

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Funny story: Hemorrhoids Flare Across U.S.: Bush Administration Declares Emergency

Hemorrhoids Flare Across U.S.: Bush Administration Declares Emergency

US and A (The Lantern Staff Writer) - An outbreak of severe hemorrhoids throughout the lower forty-eight states has blindsided National Weather Service forecasters, causing the President to declare a national state of emergency.

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Funny story: AFLAC Ruffles PETA's Feathers

AFLAC Ruffles PETA's Feathers

The, not so astonishing news, within the insurance industry reached the boiling point yesterday when PETA met with the corporate big-wigs of AFLAC Insurance.

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Funny story: SEXFLASH! Big Brother Tracey Well'ard Hasn't Had SEX Since March 23rd

SEXFLASH! Big Brother Tracey Well'ard Hasn't Had SEX Since March 23rd

Tracey Well'ard, the cleaner with the pink mop, made a shocking revelation in the Big Brother house at the weekend, when she told another housemate that she last had sex on 23rd March.

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Funny story: Amy Winehouse tops "Most Appropriate Name" poll

Amy Winehouse tops "Most Appropriate Name" poll

Bee-hived songstress Amy Winehouse has smashed the opposition in a survey to find the world's most aptly named celebrity.

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Funny story: U.S. Open to Adopt New Tennis Ball! Federer Cries Foul!

U.S. Open to Adopt New Tennis Ball! Federer Cries Foul!

Flushin Meadows, NY - U.S. Open Officials today announced a radical change to this year's U.S. Open Tennis Championships. Over the years the ball has change from white to yellow and perhaps the most radical change would be the "felt" or...

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Funny story: Fred Dalton Thompson Appears at Iowa State Fair

Fred Dalton Thompson Appears at Iowa State Fair

Supporters were hoping he was there to formally announce his candidacy for presidency. No such luck.

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Funny story: Winner Announced for America's Got Talent

Winner Announced for America's Got Talent

The voting is over, all the ballots have been counted, and a winner has been selected for the 2007 season of America's got talent. Show judge, actor, and singer David Hasselhoff revealed the results at a publicity party in Los Angeles before the...

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