WHITEWASHINGTON, DC/AC - Hillary Clintoon is celebrating the news: forty percent of the respondents to a Phew Poll affirmed that they want to see a woman in the Oval Orifice. Clintoon (Hillary, not Bill), who may run for president in 2016, beamed...
Washington - British diplomatic sources are adamant there will be no Jeffrey Epstein-style peroxide hanky-panky for David Cameron when he hunkers down for a White House sleepover tonight. "Besides," First Attache Sir Humpfree Whorsely commented, "...
With the advent of a new bill that has mysteriously made its way through Congress to become law, the U.S. government has, to many minds, permanently dissolved itself and binned its own constitution for keeps. The Bill, hastily presented and passe...
Washington: Fury erupted yesterday in the House of Representatives as Wisconscin's Paddy O'Shea addressed 435 members concerning a bill he had proposed that never made it past the first hurdle. This is what he said: "First of all, the blessed...
Washington, DC-In breaking news it was announced that Obama, in order to shield them from Republican legislators bound and determined to deport them, will allow a multitude of immigrants to have sanctuary in the White House. Obama has had barriers...
Medical scientists in America have taken a keen interest in the discovery by Dr. Bedafford of the Brighton and Sussex Medical School who successfully cured a patient of Arachnophobia accidentally when he had the man's damaged left amygdala removed.
BILLINGSGATE POST: Ron Klain, who was appointed Ebola czar by President Obama last week, has not been seen or heard from since. Rumors regarding his present status abound. Most prominent of the speculative theories is that he has been confined to...
A false bookcase in the British parliament buildings, the Houses of Parliament slid aside to reveal a panelled secret corridor yesterday. To the astonishment of decorators removing books, a well lit passage appeared, leading from the back of the V.I.
President Obama today fired Julia Peterson, head of the beleaguered Secret Service. Her strange testimony yesterday before congressional lawmakers was, no doubt, one of the reasons. When Chairman Issa asked her to explain why a deranged man carry...
During the Vietnam War era hundreds of thousands of American lives were destroyed and crippled and the treasury drained. It was a huge folly, a war the U.S. lost. After the war, Americans who were less than willing to once again fight useless wars w...
ROSE GARDEN, AC/DC -- First Lady Michelle Obummer has yet a new idea to try out on American schoolkids. She has become a strong advocate of farming octopi. "They grows quick," she says, "and they taste good-or so I've heard-I wouldn't eat nothing...
The first lady has denied scraping the paintwork of her husband's vintage Rolls-Royce on the White House gate while trying to avoid running over a pigeon yesterday. Rumors that she applied eyeliner and nail color to disguise the damaged bodywork,...
Washington DC - The Secret Service has discovered $20m of fuel is missing from a pipeline running under the West Wing, part of the Biden-Keystone** strategic reserve. A probe into its upstream reservoir feed this weekend found clear signs of tamp...
WASHINGTON, DC - A toddler squeezed his way through the fence of the White House late Thursday night. Secret Service agents quickly responded to the intrusion and handled the incident without any resistance from the intruder. Crying was heard by byst...
Washington, DC Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner admitted calling the police on President Obama due to what he said was "terrible blight" conditions at the White House. "Obama has let the grass get knee-high, with a couple of junk cars...
George Bush Jnr. has been kidnapped while on a fishing trip to Vancouver. A letter delivered to the editor of the Vancouver Sun stated.... "I and my warriors have kidnapped the sonofabitch on behalf of our noble ancestors. He will be released when...
Washington - The post of Official White House Mole Catcher has just been made redundant according to Big Oil drone footage around Pennsylvania Avenue. A series of seismic jerks in the DC area - and no, we're not talking Kerry Kennedy this time! -...
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