The needs of masturbators caught short on the street could be eased with a plan to pay businesses to open their toilets to finger jockeys.
A British Airways jet that crash landed at Heathrow was being controlled by a small child, 6 year old Jimmy Feckless, it has been revealed.
Does my dog have food? Maybe.
George Michael spotted acting as a toilet attendant in a busy Tesco toilet. (He was squirting more than smelly products there!)...
I was sitting on the toilet this morning (I found a dime under the Coke machine) reading the paper and George Bush made me gag. Gagging in the restroom is not recommended, but on the back page of the front section (where I assume it will be overlooked) the Associated Press reported that the President has called for the elimination of all tariffs and subsidies, worldwide, to promote peace and prosp...
Baja, Mexico - Known only as the nosey grocery store manager who asked generations of shoppers, "Please, don't squeeze the Charmin," Mr. Whipple was a man we hardly knew but everybody immediate recognized, even in Mexico. Like many Amer...
Stacy Lombard was finishing up his afternoon paper route near the colored section of Little Rock Arkansas in May 1961 when he arrived home to his excited mother exhorting him to "hurry up and get in the house". And though only 13 years old, Stacy was about to embark on an adventure that few Arkansans, few anybodies for that matter, had experienced before. Stacy's great grandfather, E...
Due to the writer's strike and the lack of active bowel movements in Burbank, NBC has decided to close down the last pay toilet at the studio.
Asheville, North Carolina (IP) - Governor Demsey Dumpster of North Carolina has ordered North Carolina residents not to use the bathroom.
It has been revealed that Elvis was not only The King of Rock and Roll, but also The King of All Mankind. Perhaps this revelation goes some way in explaining Elvis' many and varied apparitions, and his vast following of disciples. In his lifetime, Elvis was tempted many times by the Devil. In his previous incarnation as Jesus, the Son of God had dismissed Satan's attempts to woo him to the d...
The Paris film festival was wowed yesterday at a special showing of the unearthed Merdini masterpiece, 'Homme Sur La Toilette.' In the film - completed months before the writer and director's death - a male proletarian is depicted defecat...
London (champion news) There has been a run on toilet paper since the Northern Rock story broke wind!...
President George W Bush had a lucky escape after getting trapped in a public toilet in a Dallas shopping mall.
Aspiring political candidate Warren Redlich was allegedly seen masturbating in a men's room at the Tailgate Tavern in Guilderland, NY, according to an undercover policeman who arrested Redlich.
Japanese Talking Toilets have gone on strike in Tokyo, bringing the entire city to a halt.
The Republican National Committee felt it had to take this action, citing too much temptation attached to restroom visits while on the road. "The GOP has come to stand for grand old perverts," one disgusted committee member complained.
Washington - (Faux News) Senators approved a new entitlement program to be funded and operated by state governments. The new plan allows for the provision of special handicrap parking emblems to be issued to people suffering from loose bowls, enlarge...
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