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Funny satire stories about Shopping

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Funny story: Supermarket's 'Basics' Products To Cost Nothing

Supermarket's 'Basics' Products To Cost Nothing

A leading supermarket has announced a clever new weapon in the ongoing pricing war with other rivals. By increasing the cost of their top-of-the-range 'Pay The Difference' branded goods, they are going to cut the price of their low-end 'Basics' prod...

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Funny story: Flyers Announce: WallyMart Offers Big Rollback On Condoms!

Flyers Announce: WallyMart Offers Big Rollback On Condoms!

WallyMart has announced that their "natural lambskin" condoms are being rolled back not only for a lower price but for a snugger, tighter fit. "And", added the retail giant, "these boxes are labeled by code and not by size so even your cashier wo...

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Funny story: Cruise's step ladder uproar

Cruise's step ladder uproar

Tom Cruise caused quite and uproar when he unexpectedly chucked a bottle of conditioner at a shop assistant when she failed to give him a step ladder. The shop assistant was questioned and revealed: "I was asked by Cruise if he could use a step l...

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Funny story: Woolworths develops special new software to service internet customers

Woolworths develops special new software to service internet customers

Now that the Woolworths and Ladybird names have been rescued from obscurity and are about to become an internet business (much to the disgust of late-night revelers who now find that a Home Computer is a rather less convenient place to relieve themse...

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Funny story: Woman charged with racism in letter box row

Woman charged with racism in letter box row

A 68 year old Kent woman was arrested and charged with racism yesterday when the owner of a second hand junk shop called Police after she refused to believe that the post office letter box outside his shop was not for sale. Mr M.T. Urpuckets, the...

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Funny story: Christmas Sales Going Well, Say Experts

Christmas Sales Going Well, Say Experts

Sales of unwanted trash in UK stores are doing well, say experts, due principally to the Credit Crunch, the inability of some shops to carry on trading, and the fact that some Britons are just so fucking greedy, they will buy ANYTHING, so long as it'...

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Funny story: Lousy Christmas blamed on Santa

Lousy Christmas blamed on Santa

After weeks of hoping for a Christmas miracle, worldwide retail chains confirmed today that they suffered one of the lousiest holiday shopping seasons in decades. Matters were made worse by the absence of one S. Claus, longtime resident of the N...

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Funny story: Pound Shops Poised For High Street Domination

Pound Shops Poised For High Street Domination

Following the collapse of several leading retail outlets recently, the humble pound shop is all set to dominate UK High Streets. Shares in pound shops were holding steady at a pound on the FTSE yesterday, a price which hasn't changed much since th...

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Funny story: Everything must go

Everything must go

With Woolworths doing better trade in the last few days than in the preceding ninety-nine years, it has been announced that everything must be sold before the end of the year, and that means everything. In the store in Altrincham, near Manchester,...

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Funny story: Woolworths Shares Soar As Clearance Sale Announced

Woolworths Shares Soar As Clearance Sale Announced

Shares in Britain's oldest retail department store, Woolworths, soared today as it was announced that the company would hold a massive 90% off sale starting Thursday in all its 815 outlets nationwide. Woolies, as it is known by your mum, went into...

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Funny story: Serial Bread Squeezer Gets Life Ban

Serial Bread Squeezer Gets Life Ban

In a landmark test case ruling, Worcester magistrates imposed a lifetime Supermarket ban on Worcester woman Carol Ann Jones because she insisted on squeezing every loaf of bread on display in order to 'test it for freshness.' Supermarket giants co...

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Funny story: Santa shops at Aldi

Santa shops at Aldi

A recent press release from the British discount supermarket chain, Aldi, has revealed that Father Christmas shops for all his Christmas goodies at their Redditch store. "We were quite surprised to see him," said Ahem Malud, manager of the store.

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Funny story: Another Shopping Spree For Sarah Palin

Another Shopping Spree For Sarah Palin

Pouring 34 billion into the auto executives gas tanks is like giving: George Bush four more years; Clara Harris a couple of more rounds in her Mercedes; and another shopping spree for Sarah Palin. Bailout/rescue money ain't going to work with the...

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Funny story: TV Pitchman silenced

TV Pitchman silenced

Extremely annoying TV Pitchman Billy Mays was caught up in a prank last night. Two area boys, 16-year-old Terry Little and his friend Jason Large, 28 jumped the loud-mouthed adman as he left the St. Petersburg, Florida, headquarters of the Home Shop...

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Funny story: Americans Face Prospect of Having to Buy Things with Real Money

Americans Face Prospect of Having to Buy Things with Real Money

Government officials unveiled a plan to encourage Americans to use actual currency to purchase goods and services in the near future. If not actual currency, then at least a promise to pay with money that is actually owned by the buyer. "It's a...

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Funny story: Government Help Office to Extend Holiday Hours

Government Help Office to Extend Holiday Hours

In a sign of the times the US Government help office has extended it's hours just in time for the holiday season. "With every corporation, from bankers to auto makers, banging at our doors for financial relief, we just had to do something," said Edna...

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Funny story: Beaver Creek To Possibly Undergo Some Changes

Beaver Creek To Possibly Undergo Some Changes

The mayor of Beaver Creek, South Carolina has announced that the entire town could be replaced in the near future by a super-dooper-Wally-Mart. "The city council and I have seen the plans and they look great", stated Mayor Halls. "Instead of ju...

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