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Funny story: Professor Norton Folgate's Theory on Narwhals

Professor Norton Folgate's Theory on Narwhals

In the sometime occasional series by Professor Norton Folgate there have been many fascinating and intriguing topics and today's is no exception. This edition discusses the benefits of having a three metre tusk, but only if you are a Narwhal. "Narwhals are an odd species. Related to the Beluga whale they live in the Artic. During the really cold periods, which they have in the Artic on a...

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Funny story: Shock as temperature of Earth linked to temperature of its only source of heat

Shock as temperature of Earth linked to temperature of its only source of heat

The world of science is today in a state of shock with the revelation the recent cold winters in the UK and other places in northern Europe are directly linked the temperature of the Earth's only source of heat. Scientists are said to be perplexed...

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Funny story: The Mysterious Jelly Is Back

The Mysterious Jelly Is Back

Cumbrians have been left with a mammoth clean up operation as The Mysterious Jelly returns, this time to the hills around Cumbria. "Two years ago," said lead scientist, Theo Rea, "we investigated the blobs that struck Scotland. At the time we had...

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Funny story: Scientists Conclude the Soul is Composed of Dark Matter

Scientists Conclude the Soul is Composed of Dark Matter

Scientists, today, announced they believe they have solved the longest standing problem in human history. Unsure why they never thought of this before, they reticently admitted that the idea of something so undetectable and frankly impossible as Dark...

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Funny story: Scientists Determine that Upwards of 96 Percent of Human Body Mass is Dark Matter and Dark Energy

Scientists Determine that Upwards of 96 Percent of Human Body Mass is Dark Matter and Dark Energy

Gravitational astrophysicists have long-since determined that Dark Energy and Dark Matter must account for over 96% of the mass of the universe, or else their pet theory would fall flat on its face. Pioneering physiologists are now beginning to c...

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Funny story: Geneticist denies Britney claim

Geneticist denies Britney claim

Leading geneticist Dr Hugo von Steinenfrank, of the Hermann Munster Institute of Bonn, has rejected claims made by two computer technicians who insist they invented Britney Spears and many other leading artists as part of a science experiment. Dr...

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Funny story: Intelligent Design start a kids club

Intelligent Design start a kids club

The Discovery Institute, the For Prophets organisation set up to preach and teach about intelligent design, has decided the time is right for a junior wing to the movement after repeated failures to convince anybody with an IQ above minus fifty that...

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Funny story: The Missing Sock Problem

The Missing Sock Problem

For several decades, Secular Humanists have been brainwashing public schoolchildren with the godless, atheistic theory of evolution. Meanwhile, the scientific establishment has been engaged in a massive conspiracy to keep the truth about evolution fr...

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Funny story: Carolgees Doesn't Exist Says New Study

Carolgees Doesn't Exist Says New Study

Boffins at Macclesfield University have made a startling discovery that the Surprise, Surprise sidekick Bob Carolgees is figment of Mankind's imagination. The shocking discovery follows a 12 year investigation by the top academic institution which...

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Funny story: Ratings agencies downgrade speed of light

Ratings agencies downgrade speed of light

As the financial crisis continues to spread, it appears that not even the immutable laws of physics are immune from the effects. Credit rating agencies including Vibe Ratings have downgraded the speed of light from C to C-, after derivatives traders...

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Funny story: Cern Boffins Baffled By Faster-Than-Light Particles

Cern Boffins Baffled By Faster-Than-Light Particles

Cern scientists have been baffled by experiments which seem to turn a century of physics on its head. They claim to have witnessed neutrinos travelling at speeds faster than the speed of light. If they are shown to be correct, it could throw doubt...

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Funny story: The Science of Politics Revealed

The Science of Politics Revealed

Many people make the mistake of thinking that politics is all about people and that science plays no part in it. These people are clearly wrong. I will tell you why - and I'm not talking about getting a degree in political science either. I already discussed how dark matter influences parliament in my book You Can't Polish a Turd - the Civil Servant's Manual, so I will not repeat myself here.

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Funny story: Brownian Motion Disproved

Brownian Motion Disproved

Every schoolchild will have, at some time, been shown Brownian Motion. Those little specks or motes dancing around on the surface of a liquid or even floating in the air. The original explanation was that jostling atoms are knocking these motes, c...

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Funny story: Universal warming is latest threat to planet

Universal warming is latest threat to planet

Research conducted by NASA indicates the fear of Global Warming might be over-exaggerated, as the Earth radiates much more, and retains far less, heat than once thought. Scientists say the findings eat holes into the fears of the planet overheatin...

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Funny story: Newts - Food of the future

Newts - Food of the future

Biologists at Yeadon University Cloning Facility's Technology of Replication (YUCFacToR) have developed a solution to the world's protein shortage. Newts. "Newts are great," said Professor Emma Ritus who headed up the team. "You chop a leg off,...

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Funny story: Tortoises Die On Their Backs

Tortoises Die On Their Backs

Oxford, UK: Have you ever wondered what would happen if a tortoise was stuck on its back? The results of a new study led by Prof. Colin Killmore, Professor of Pseudoscience at Oxford University, show conclusively that the tortoise would eventually d...

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Funny story: Nonsense People - Who Are They?

Nonsense People - Who Are They?

Research by boffins at a top university has resolved an ages-old conundrum: who are nonsense people? Science suggests they are a small group descended from Italian immigrants living in a remote village in the heart of Wales. A large team of soc...

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