Adapting Royal Navy submarines to allow women to serve on them will cost £30 million, MPs were told. Defence Secretary Ivor Hammond-Organ said the money would allow women to have separate accommodation on the submarines; each room would have its own...
In a surprise move that surprised nobody, the Prime Minister has confirmed that George Osborne is to be split into two. The move is expected to significantly strengthen the UK's economic fortunes, while also confirming once and for all whether the Ch...
Anti-Europe Party You Kip leader Nigel Barrage has been found asleep at the bottom of the stairs at 10 Downing Street. This new political tactic of a 'Sleep In' has been adopted in order to cause maximum publicity for the mesage of the Party. Seve...
26 Nov 2011: Gang used bleach to make illicit vodka The Independent The mastermind of a gang who used methylated spirits and bleach to manufacture thousands of bottles of fake vodka at a remote farm to sell across Britain has been jailed for seven years. Investigators believe that 165,000 bottles of the vodka, which was unfit for human consumption, had been made in 2009 and 2010 and sent...
An unemployed Nottingham man has started a Recycling Plant business - aimed at clearing and easing the congestion, in the Houses Of Parliament. Nick Roffilia's company is now able to accept the following redundant assets from MPs, for recycling, at a minimum charge; Compassion: Aimed primarily at the leading Ministers, and the the more nepotistic Conservatives/Coalition members. With so much...
Ice-cream manufacturer Godfrey Sice's company, are producing new flavours and names of ice-cream concoctions, in honour of individual MP's and Political Parties performances in the Government, and opposition. Here is the full list to be available soon: Flavour/Name: Credit Crunch In Honour of: George Osborne Flavour/Name: Nut'n Accomplished In Honour of: Nick Clegg Flavour/Name: Sile...
20 Nov 2011: Ministers deny claims of cutting clinical jobs in NHS The Guardian The main nursing union was embroiled in a furious row with ministers last night after claiming that 58,000 doctors, nurses, midwives and other NHS staff have lost or are due to lose their jobs, despite David Cameron's pledge to protect front line health workers from the brunt of the cuts. Analysis by the Royal...
In a surprise move David Cameron announced the Coalition Government's support for rioters at St Paul's Cathedral. A Government statement announced 'full support for those who show their anger at the regime and have only their right to demonstrati...
14 Nov 2011: Care may suffer - admits private company taking over NHS hospital! The Observer Uproar as Circle Health confirms in document that critics' unease about patients is justified. The first private company to take over an NHS hospital has admitted in a document seen by the 'Observer' that patient care could suffer under its plans to expand its empire and seek profit from the health s...
The PM will announce that he is ordering the immigration department to start deporting old people (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and NHS costs. A plan to rescue the country's economy, formulated and presented by Chancellor...
Cameron made to apologise for "grossly offensive" Hillsborough remarks, pity, He believes the lower order folk are full of superfluity, Until election time, when he requires our vote and comity, Shows you how he makes it easy for us to show him our reprehensibility! Damian Green - Britain's Immigration Minister, said: "Immigration has been too high", he's not notice before,? another...
Senior Tory MP Lance Swan has described his late night arrest in a London park as a misunderstanding that he looks forward to putting firmly behind him. Speaking to the gathering press, outside his Oxfordshire estate, the MP stood with his wife...
This ode about MPs might just make you affright, In fiddling, lying, and nepotism they delight, MPs consume Caviar and not toast and Marmite, Their cons and excuses for fiddling are so erudite, They vary in loyalties and actions, from Thatcherite, Communist, Tree-huggers, Luddite's, and the odd Jacobite, Even the odd honest one, playwright or transvestite, They steal and fiddl...
As part of an initiative to make education more relevant to modern day Britain, the government is to offer vocational training for potential Jeremy Kyle guests. Education minister, Robert Smith-Smythe, told reporters who attended the launch exactl...
With economic gloom causing problems for Spoof writers the Government is faced with some difficult decisions. Clearly there are too many people around and plans to gas old people who are living too long have been secretly amended as it was discove...
MPs from all parties are arguing about whether broadband should be allowed in the House of Commons. Most MPs aren't really sure if they want it or not. "Some of the Members of Parliament just go on and on, I mean do we need to know how much dog...
Westminster, LONDON: For years, Oliver Letwin, the Conservative MP has been hiding a secret. Many have known about it, but have not been able to disclose the details. Some have tried, but these details have been binned in public parks all over Lon...
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