Old people who constantly complain that violent gangs of teenagers vandalize towns and stab each other should confront more teenagers and be prepared to be killed, a report said today. The report said that old people who cost the NHS £140 billion...
Intrepid FOX News reporters have uncovered a heinous left wing plot to do in Americas older generation. While many were decrying the hard rights scary chatter that the left was going to let older citizens die out, it turns out that the truth is even...
As is the case anytime the Democrats link the words 'historic' and 'legislation' all hell breaks loose and the truth seeps through various crack pots. In one of several aspects of Health Care reform the 'Take your Life' incentive for seniors is b...
The world's media descended on Grimsby today as Ernest Spangler Britain's oldest person celebrated his 117th birthday. Ernest who was born in 1893 has lived through the reign of 6 Monarchs and 23 Prime Ministers and fought in the Great War as a 22 ye...
A 92 year old woman has been charged with murdering her husband in Sydney Australia. Though a post mortem is to be undertaken to officially confirm the cause of death, neighbours have reported that the woman chopped off her husbands penis to "sor...
In an astounding new report a group of scientists from the University of Stoned California have announced that you genuinely are as young as you feel. Following on from other research not even remotely related to greenhouse gasses or melting iceca...
Welcome young ladies and gentlesirs to my latest missive I have received a veritable inundation of correspondence following my initial instructional verbiabge. Unfortunately I do not understand such Hogarthean terms such as "Moron", "Ancient Git" or "Oh for F**** Sake Not Him Again" I must therefore take your mass of letters of proof of my correctness As more hirsute or intelligent re...
The oldest women on the planet is 130 and one of the Spoof's more "wayward weirdo" (starts with J and ends with E) writers claims to be her Grandchild! This women has been seen wandering in an abandoned hotel stuck on a hill in Tunbridge Wells.
Welcome gentlemen and young ladies to this missive on how to use our modern roads. It has now been a fulsome number of years since those blasted "AA" radicals forced our good lords and ladies to repeal our simple law that motorised perambulators should be accompanied by a stout bearer carrying a red flag. Apparently our modern roads are somewhat velocitous places in greater need than ever of my...
Latest research from the University of Camberwick has shown that people over the age of 85 are more likely to start a serious world war than people half their age. In a paper published in "Which War" Magazine, top scientists claim that out of 5000...
Scottish Boxer Ken Buchanan who was World Light Weight Champion from 1970-72 is planning a comeback at the age of 65 so boxing authorities are now considering a World Boxing Championship for pensioners so you must be 65 or more to compete. Former...
Even though most of the other residents at the Loma Linda Nursing home in California were paying little attention to Granny Merle Rutherford, she had just returned to her room there with brand new boobs. "Oh the old boys in the lobby have noticed,...
It has come to light that the Twilte Nursing Home Administrator in Tampa Florida has been selfishly keeping gifts meant for the residents for himself. The nursing home administrator Clyde Klochmeyer was recently investigated and found to have more...
WASHINGTON, DC - "The science behind the cataclysmic threat of CO2 has been settled. The elderly have contributed more greenhouse gases to the planet than any other group. Ordinary citizens know the dangers when old people and beans, and cabbage, and...
In a concerted attempt to grab the spotlight back from the Irish twins, a plan has been unveiled to bring Danyl Johnson out of the closet in stages to make him more palatable to the mature fanbase, it was reported this morning. "In week one he ad...
Clayton, Missouri - The latest National Car Rental commercials have most people in America asking, "Who's the old dorky guy?" In a move that baffles industry experts, the car rental company has chose to hire a "compensated endorser" who is as much a...
Winter is almost upon us, and the customary stampede to receive annual influenza vaccinations has taken an alarming turn. Doctors across the whole of the country are reporting greater than expected incidents of violent behaviour amongst the elder...
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