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Funny satire stories about Old People

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Funny story: EPA to Focus on Climate Destruction by Elderly

EPA to Focus on Climate Destruction by Elderly

WASHINGTON, DC - "The science behind the cataclysmic threat of CO2 has been settled. The elderly have contributed more greenhouse gases to the planet than any other group. Ordinary citizens know the dangers when old people and beans, and cabbage, and...

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Funny story: Danyl Johnson being eased out of the closet gradually to avoid confusing elderly viewers

Danyl Johnson being eased out of the closet gradually to avoid confusing elderly viewers

In a concerted attempt to grab the spotlight back from the Irish twins, a plan has been unveiled to bring Danyl Johnson out of the closet in stages to make him more palatable to the mature fanbase, it was reported this morning. "In week one he ad...

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Funny story: "John McEnwho?", asks many

"John McEnwho?", asks many

Clayton, Missouri - The latest National Car Rental commercials have most people in America asking, "Who's the old dorky guy?" In a move that baffles industry experts, the car rental company has chose to hire a "compensated endorser" who is as much a...

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Funny story: Geriatrics go on rampage as rumours of flu vaccine shortage grip the country

Geriatrics go on rampage as rumours of flu vaccine shortage grip the country

Winter is almost upon us, and the customary stampede to receive annual influenza vaccinations has taken an alarming turn. Doctors across the whole of the country are reporting greater than expected incidents of violent behaviour amongst the elder...

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Funny story: Chip On Shoulder Reminds Elderly, "Time For Sex"

Chip On Shoulder Reminds Elderly, "Time For Sex"

A Swiss pharmaceutical group called Nervotis has developed an electronic pill and chip that it hopes will reduce the number of patients who have to be supervised taking their medicine. Severine Baerrtschi, head of pharmaceuticals at Nevortis, said...

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Funny story: Speedier test for cancer in healthcare plan now

Speedier test for cancer in healthcare plan now

WASHINGTON DC - Granny get your best dress on. This is your big night out, maybe your last night out. The new healthcare plan now includes a speedy test for cancer, and summary judgment for old folks who have a terminal case of it. According to...

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Funny story: Elderly should not touch animals, scientist says

Elderly should not touch animals, scientist says

Caretakers should not allow over-eighty-fives to touch animals at petting farms, a child psychologist has said amid acting-out fears involving four cities. Prof Enningtonpey said old people were the most likely people to touch animals but the hard...

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Funny story: 115-Year-Old Woman Dies Waiting for Health Care Reform

115-Year-Old Woman Dies Waiting for Health Care Reform

LOS ANGELES, CA - Gerta Blaine lost her battle against death today in Los Angeles, California, at the age of 115, according to the nursing home where she waited for health care reform until her very last breath. Blaine attributed her longevity to...

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Funny story: Funeral Parlor Discovers Nursing Home is Tattooing Residents

Funeral Parlor Discovers Nursing Home is Tattooing Residents

The Shaw-Blackham-Robb-Watson Funeral Parlors have informed Rogers, Arkansas Police that they have discovered old people who die in the local Sunny Days Retirement Center and Nursing Home have been tattooed. Chuck Robb, one of the owners of the fune...

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Funny story: State Pension Age To Hit 100

State Pension Age To Hit 100

The government today announced that the state pension age will rise to 100. Angela Eagle, the bird in charge of pensions said "50 is definitely the new 30. People are living longer so it is only fair that we flog them to death for longer. We want to...

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Funny story: Sexually Frustrated Health Club Gunman's Blowup Sex Doll Mistakenly Delivered to Wrong Address

Sexually Frustrated Health Club Gunman's Blowup Sex Doll Mistakenly Delivered to Wrong Address

New York, New York - Police investigating the so-called health club massacre have confirmed today that the suspected gunman was expecting the delivery of a blowup sex doll that never arrived at his residence on the day of the bloody incident. Rec...

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Funny story: Wet Dreams - Do You Remember Them?

Wet Dreams - Do You Remember Them?

We all look back on our youth through rose-tinted spectacles, remembering our naive wide-eyed innocence and conveniently forgetting how we bullied other youths; weaker, uglier and less popular youths - often demanding money and cutting their faces with a scalpel if they didn't reciprocate, or a few days spent in the 'hot-box of hell' to give them time to think about it. They always paid up. Yes...

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Funny story: Grumpy Old Attention Seeking Git Contributes To Satirical Website

Grumpy Old Attention Seeking Git Contributes To Satirical Website

Nobody has any idea why, but a grumpy old attention seeking git has inexplicably decided to contribute to satirical website TheSpoof.com Established Spoof writers would appear to believe that the grumpy old git's stories about Manchester United FC...

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Funny story: Granny's Upset About Fake "Granny's Gone Wild" Cameramen

Granny's Upset About Fake "Granny's Gone Wild" Cameramen

"I hope I can get a-hold of that old fart's nuggets sometimes, I'd make his eyeballs pop out of his head a lot more than they did when he took all those films of us." This was stated by a Mrs. X, a 63-year old Granny who does not want to be identified after two 50-Plus year old men claimed they were doing a movie called "Granny's Gone Wild!" "Elinor...uh, Ms. XX first told me about it and sh...

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Funny story: Texan Tasered Senior Citizen is Healed

Texan Tasered Senior Citizen is Healed

A 72 year old woman suffering from a chronic loss of orgasmic function reported that her once prolific ability to climax was miraculously restored by the administration of a taser shock from a young Austin Texas constable. The sexsually disable...

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Funny story: Controversy Surrounds Ranulph Fiennes Everest Conquest

Controversy Surrounds Ranulph Fiennes Everest Conquest

It emerged today after live satellite pictures showed a shattered Ranulph Fiennes claim 'The Oldest British Person to scale Mount Everest', was awash with cheat allegations. If rumours are proven to be true, Ranulph Fiennes used a 'Stoner Stair lift'...

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Funny story: Advice from Grandpa

Advice from Grandpa

Son, if I told you once, I told you a thousand times, one man's meat is another man's poison. I realize you are just sowing your wild oats, but believe you me, if you have seen one you have seen them all, and that lady friend of yours makes me as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Sure, she may be pretty as a speckled pup under a red wagon and look pure as a mothers breast milk...

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