Space - A colony of mutant species from the Bradypodidae genus of three-toed sloths is suspected of being indigenous to the newly discovered planet. Imagery from NASA's Kepler space telescope reveals the distinctive arboreal critters whose closest...
Roswell, Nevada - NASA HQ boffins have released video footage of what they say is the Russian Mars probe's final moments before being swallowed up by a UFO resembling a giant space squid. The Phobos-Grunt was carrying a Chinese heavyweight payload...
Pasadena, Ca - Is a secret alien-hunting agenda behind Saturday's launch of NASA's $2.5 billion Mars Science Laboratory? Astrophysicists at the Agency's Jet Convulsion Laboratory have always rubbished claims that the red planet is a hollow structu...
Taking advantage of previously released news events and an internet search frenzy that mixed YU55 asteroid news with a Kim Kardashian doctor visit, NASA has decided to take advantage of the added publicity by changing the name of the asteroid to Kard...
London - A stargazers convention has deplored an official 2005 NASA description of Eris as a 'frigid dwarf' and declared it a load of sexist bollox. Astrologers Anonymous sources said today the minature planet has been slandered by an internationa...
Special to INS - The 20-year-old satellite that crashed into Earth last week had a roughly 1-in-3,200 chance of hitting a person, NASA officials claimed. The Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite, or UARS (pronounced: you-arse), apparently missed the p...
Space - It's existence had been suspected for aeons and was enough to freak out 5th century AD Church elders sufficiently into sexing-up their farcical God-the-Father rants. This week pictures of a crystal skull-like galaxy - described as 'depicti...
SANAA YEMEN - Anwar al-Aulaqi, born in the U.S. and one of the most influential al-Qaeda leaders, was first reported to have been killed yesterday by a CIA drone strike in northern Yemen. In Washington, senior Obama officials first confirmed, and...
Lead NASA space junk scientist Larry Wrong was killed this morning by a one ton piece of debris from NASA's falling research satellite outside of his Orlando, Miami home. The satellite, UARS, which is commonly known as "the satellite that is falling...
LOS ANGELES - The speculation as to where exactly the debris from NASA's space satellite would land is finally over. The West Coast Flaming Gazette reported that they received a call from a frantic individual who resides in Venice Beach saying tha...
East Anglia - Is there really a satellite homing device implanted into the academic behind the University of East Anglia's global warming scam? NASA sources hinted today that the spent Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite's imminent crash landing m...
CAPE CANAVERAL, Fl.--Plain and train spotters now have a new cousin: falling dead satellite spotters. A dead UARS (Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite), which weighs 6.5 tons and is about the size of a school bus, is expected to enter Earth's atmo...
Groom Lake, Nevada - NASA HQ sources said today the binary stars orbited by newly discovered Kepler-16b act as the perfect visual foil to camouflage UFO traffic. The Tatooine-like planet is bathed in sunlight for 99% of its 30-hour day and lies on...
Groom Lake, Nevada - NASA's global HQ is at a loss to explain how imprints of $1,000-a-pop six inch-heeled Manolos have ended up on the lunar surface. The 3D images appear on newly released Moon landing files for Apollo 11, 12, 14 and 17 missions,...
NASA - Astronomers have discovered a pair of supermassive black holes in the twisty, spiral brain of former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin, NASA said Wednesday. Approximately 160 million light years from Earth, Ms. Palin is the nearest known such ph...
Earth civilization had better clean up its act if we want to avoid a visit from the galactic police! Scientists at NASA claim that reducing our carbon emissions could prevent a pre-emptive alien attack - similar to the one portrayed in classic mov...
Moscow - A notorious UFO rat run inside Earth's Van Allen Beltway is the top culprit behind the disappearance of Russian Starfleet's flagship cargo carrier. This morning the entire International Space Station supply program hangs in ruins as monit...
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