Long time doctor and personal friend of pop idol Michael Jackson has confessed to murder this morning. Nose specialist and cosmetic surgeon, Dr. Cho Hmung, has confessed to killing Jackson's nose. "I could no longer hold it back. Achoo! Bless me.
The latest blockbuster movie to wow the Yanks is Zombieland starring Woody Harrelson, better known as that Zombie barkeeper, thanks Frazier, Cheers. Only problem haunting the movie was the refusal of Janet Jackson to star alongside the massive "Wo...
Recently a team of scientists came to the conclusion that while the earth might survive a vampire attack, it could not survive a zombie attack. Not understanding the reasoning behind such a study, most have concluded that these men and women have...
An amazing report confirming the perfect health of "Wacko Jacko" has emerged and now the world is wondering was their really foul play causing Michael's death. "He was a totally healthy 50 year old," announced Michael's personal specialist, Doktor...
New York, New York - On the David Letterman show in conjunction with a tour of his latest film, "Socialism for Sissies", Michael Moore admitted in front of a live studio audience that he had consensual sex with an underaged donut during his early yea...
WASHINGTON DC - In a special study at Methesdum Medical Hospital, flesh from Michael Jackson's buttocks were analyzed and found to contain lethal levels of formaldehyde. This is a known break-down product of aspartame, an ingredient in all of Michae...
New York - (Rotters): Octogenarian racketeer, conspiracist, extortionist, money launderer and Bush Family hedge fund bagman James 'Whitey' Bulger is livid. Someone has blown his Pentagon ID of the last 40 years and named him as the man that Michae...
Merseyside - (Rotters): Posthumous gong peddlers in the Saint Michael Jackson camp are straining a very fragile credulity of the singer's canonization campaign with their latest fantasy wind-up. "Michael wanted to meet with little James Bulger's k...
The success of Roonie and now Michael Owen at Man Utd proves one thing, Liverpool is a "craphole", both have applied for "Mancunian" Nationality and are taking lessons in the language! The Manchester Evening News, reported the story after United's...
A Jerusalem Arti has choked to death in what Israeli police are describing as a racially motivated attack. The "Jerusalem Arti-Choke" as papers have taken to calling the attack happened in the full view of Christians and Muslims paying homage at a...
According to an insider of the Jackson family who we only known as Marlon who asked us not to give out his name. Michael Jackson has allegedly been in talks with Elvis Presley of Memphis who agreed to do a 1 off special which will be broadcast at...
In a bizarre twist Michael Jackson was yesterday reported to have risen from his concrete tomb and be stalking the earth in search of 'brains'. Ex spoon bender and long time fiend Uri Gelert said "He has to feed on the flesh of the living he cann...
The full details of Michael Jackson's death were revealed today by the Never Never Land coroner. Amid speculation of drug overdoses, stress, wearings-out and even, according to the News of the Sun newspaper, falling off the moon during one of his...
The King of Pop has been seen roaming the streets of Morocco. Unbelievable. "I thought he was dead." said M. Burns, a customer at a local newstand. "He's still alive? Jesus christ man, whats it take!?" stated T. Jackson, a local McDonalds goe...
Roswell, New Mexico - Conspiracy theorists have worked themselves into a lather over rumors that Michael Jackson was spotted outside a building in Area 51. Hundreds of conspiracy theorists have descended on Roswell in the last 48 ho...
Top Secret Mattel Headquarters: It was announced earlier today that Michael Jackson's former plastic surgeon will be running a 'Buy One, Get One Free' breast enhancement special in honor of the very first Natonal Breast Appreciation Day. Dr. Steve...
There were scenes of jubilation, combopulation and paedoration outside the Neverland ranch this afternoon, after it was announced that, despite the fact that a grand funeral was held to bury him last week, the King of Pop, Michael Jackosn, was today...
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