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Funny satire stories about London 2012

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Funny story: One in 1000 Olympics Tickets to Allow Holder to Compete

One in 1000 Olympics Tickets to Allow Holder to Compete

With tickets now on sale for the London 2012 Olympics, organisers have revealed that one purchase in 1000 will be a 'golden ticket' allowing the ticket holder to compete in one of the main events. The 'golden ticket' incentive was only revealed th...

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Funny story: Olympics and Eastenders Link

Olympics and Eastenders Link

The Royal Mail has revealed that the Olympic Park has been given the same postcode as the BBC soap opera Eastenders. The Olympic Park, which many see as the main focal point of London 2012, will provide a massive green space full of riverside gard...

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Funny story: Gun laws to be relaxed for the 2012 Olympics?

Gun laws to be relaxed for the 2012 Olympics?

With the Olympic committee drawing up alternate plans for the gun based Olynmpic events in 2012 due to strict gun ownership laws in the UK, David Cameron has proposed an amendment to the gun ownership rules temporarily for the duration of the Games.

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Funny story: Colonel Gaddafi to run London's Docklands Light Railway

Colonel Gaddafi to run London's Docklands Light Railway

In a surprise move announced today, Colonel Gadaffi said he was throwing in the towel - or at least that bright orange thing he sometimes wears on his head - and is accepting the job offered to him by Lord Coe to become manager of the Dockland's Ligh...

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Funny story: London 2012 Threatened By Boycotts

London 2012 Threatened By Boycotts

The International Olympic Committee is facing a major crisis with the news that Iran may boycott London 2012 because of "inherent racism in the organisation". Iranian Olympic President Mohammad Aliabadi has made an official complaint to the IOC as...

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Funny story: Team GB to boycott Olympics because of "offensive" logo

Team GB to boycott Olympics because of "offensive" logo

With only 18 months to go until the London Olympics, the British team have threatened to withdraw, saying that the logo of the games is "offensive" and "disturbing". The part of the Olympic logo they are objecting to is the word "London" and the t...

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Funny story: Olympic Velodrome Opens To Cyclists' Confusion

Olympic Velodrome Opens To Cyclists' Confusion

A group of Gloucester cyclists was being escorted back to the city today having lost their way trying to find the new Olympic Velodrome. The arena, especially constructed for the London Olympics next year, is the first venue to be completed for th...

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Funny story: Irish Olympic Team to practice and live outside London prior to 2012 games

Irish Olympic Team to practice and live outside London prior to 2012 games

With the Chinese Olympic team deciding to use Leeds, The USA team East London and the Jamaican track and field team using Birmingham prior to the 2012 Olympics, the Irish Olympic squad have announced details of where they plan to spend their practice...

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Funny story: London Olympics Schedule Unveiled

London Olympics Schedule Unveiled

London 2012 chairman Lord Seb Coe has welcomed the publishing of the 2012 Olympic schedule. "The excitement is palpable and everyone in the country realises that this great event is just round the corner". Some of the main dates for the games (which run from July 28 to August 12th) are - July 28th - The whole transport system grinds to a halt. July 29th - First cyclist tests positive...

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Funny story: Tottenham to take-over 2012 Olympic stadium

Tottenham to take-over 2012 Olympic stadium

The Olympic Legacy Committee meeting yesterday received all the bids for the future use of the Olympic stadium. In a closed session the committee met and reached a decision that the 2012 stadium, seating 90,000 would go to Tottenham Hotspur who wi...

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Funny story: Jean-Charles de Menezes-style police patrols for 2012 Olympics tube

Jean-Charles de Menezes-style police patrols for 2012 Olympics tube

London - (Big Bang Theories): Elite gun units will patrol London's underground network in the run up to the Olympics London Mayor Boris Johnson said today. The new undercover squad will prowl the tube network amid increasing fears of terror attack...

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Funny story: Olympic Flame to be extinguished, say green campaigners

Olympic Flame to be extinguished, say green campaigners

The Olympic Flame is to be extinguished to help save the planet following a campaign by eco charity GreenPolice. The announcement follows a year-long campaign by the pressure group to force the International Olympic Committee to face up to its glo...

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Funny story: London Olympics 2012 is a lie claims world head of athletics!

London Olympics 2012 is a lie claims world head of athletics!

The world head of athletics, Lamine Diack, has called the London 2012 Olympics a lie because the Brits are pretty good at it, not athletics that is. The Olympic stadium is to be converted into a 'footy" stadium after the event and the British Olym...

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Funny story: London's Olympic Stadium in danger of Sinking into its own Footprint!

London's Olympic Stadium in danger of Sinking into its own Footprint!

London's Hackney Marshes is basically a swampland. It always has been. For many decades nothing was built on it other than the odd wooden changing room sheds for amateur league football players to get into their kit before playing their matches on the wide expanse of the marshes at weekends. I grew up in Hackney myself. The goalposts during matches played on rain soaked days would sin...

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Funny story: FIFA asks to swap London 2012 Olympics for 2022 Qatar World Cup

FIFA asks to swap London 2012 Olympics for 2022 Qatar World Cup

In a dramatic turnaround over who hosts which tournament, Sepp Blatter, FIFA dictator spoke with Lord Coe, Baron of the Olympics, this weekend to discuss re-scheduling the Olympics and upcoming 2022 World Cup. Blatter said Qatar is too hot in Summ...

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Funny story: London 2012 Olympics sponsoring update

London 2012 Olympics sponsoring update

Details of some aspects of the sponsorship opportunities at the London 2012 Olympics main stadium were leaked yesterday. According to reports, all the 90,000 seats are now linked into an electrical grid and can be activated individually. Sponso...

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Funny story: "Top Bum?"

"Top Bum?"

With barnstorming, slavering politically correct, patriotic ferver one of the UK's two Prime Ministers (It's the other one's day off) has declined a US offer to moor a giant aircraft carrier in the Thames Estuary during the soon to be 'blitzed-to-obl...

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