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Funny story: Local Man Sucks It Up Like Sig Tells His Crew On Deadliest Catch

Local Man Sucks It Up Like Sig Tells His Crew On Deadliest Catch

It's been a confusing week, for local man, and pork pie hat champion, Martin Shuttlecock. A hectic schedule has meant that he has been out of action for at least a week, in pursuit of other action. So apparently, Shuttlecock has resolved to 'suck it up.' Whatever that means. Here at Skoob Mag HQ, we weren't sure what he meant by 'suck it up,' so we thought we'd better ask him, on the grou...

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Funny story: Weather "Unsettled" - Nonsense, Says Local Man

Weather "Unsettled" - Nonsense, Says Local Man

An exasperated local man has described TV and radio weather reports as nonsense. Mr Danbert Plebiscite, of Spandex Gardens, Pittsville, is so fed up with the weather forecasts that he e-mailed a friend, Nobby, to complain. EIF News & Featur...

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Funny story: Local Man Cracks Up Watching Total Wipeout On BBC1

Local Man Cracks Up Watching Total Wipeout On BBC1

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, who usually detests the mundane nonsense served up on Saturday night TV, had to admit defeat this evening after cracking up with unrestrained laughter at a pair of BBC offerings - Walk On The Wild Side, and Total Wipeou...

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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Restaurant Review - McDonalds In Fareham, Hants

Martin Shuttlecock's Restaurant Review - McDonalds In Fareham, Hants

What do you do if you're ever stuck (nobody would volunteer, surely) in Fareham, Hampshire, having just signed off the dole after two weeks of not claiming benefit, but with a little time to kill? Well, you could head for West Street - you couldn't really head for anywhere else really. There's only West Street... Skoob Magazine sent our befuddled reporter, Martin Shuttlecock, to check out th...

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Funny story: Local Man Unwitting Witness To Daft Bag Leaving Bag On Train

Local Man Unwitting Witness To Daft Bag Leaving Bag On Train

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, once again found himself unwittingly at the heart of another British service industry crisis today, as he innocently minded his own business, waiting for a train at the local station. Apparently in order to board an ele...

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Funny story: Britain's largest treasure hoard found in a back garden in Wigan

Britain's largest treasure hoard found in a back garden in Wigan

Two amateur treasure hunters in Wigan were tying out a new metal detector in their own back garden when they uncovered a rare haul of Roman gold and silver. "We were staggered when it beeped over my petunias," said Kathy Trove. "Staggered, yeah...

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Funny story: Golf Club Disco Sparks Riot In West London

Golf Club Disco Sparks Riot In West London

A leafy west London suburb was recovering after another night of violence today. Riot police had a long night trying to bring order to Chiswick after angry revellers went berserk after a golf club disco. The trouble apparently began at Wyke Gre...

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Funny story: Local Man Kicked Out of House By Parents; Invokes Squatter's Rights

Local Man Kicked Out of House By Parents; Invokes Squatter's Rights

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA - Unemployed local Ed Stepson, 37, was kicked out of his parent's house today by his father, Gene Stepson, 63, and mother, Jean Stepson, 59. Ed rejected his parent's proposal by invoking the antiquated "squatter's rights," giv...

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Funny story: Small Tornado Hits Bognor Regis - Not Much Damage

Small Tornado Hits Bognor Regis - Not Much Damage

Details are leaking through that the south coast seaside town of Bognor Regis has been lashed by a small tornado. A sort of mini-tornado, according to accounts, and although there was some damage to property, it appears that the damage was limited, a...

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Funny story: Local Man Denies Any Knowledge Of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Nude Calendar Shots

Local Man Denies Any Knowledge Of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Nude Calendar Shots

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today freely admitted that he's a bit of a twonk, but denied all knowledge of anything whatsoever to do with nude calendar shots of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, or even soundalike wannabe, Rosie Whiteley, from Batley.

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Funny story: Local Man Allegedly Hacked By The News Of The World

Local Man Allegedly Hacked By The News Of The World

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, it would appear, has no time whatsoever for the Sunday redtop, 'The News Of The World' or for its editor, Rebekah Brooks. "I'm sure the swines hacked my phone," Shuttlecock complained to anyone who would listen. B...

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Funny story: Local Newspaper admits to Phone Hacking

Local Newspaper admits to Phone Hacking

They thought it would just be overlooked in today's media coverage of the Shit of the World, but Hampshire local newspaper "The Portsmouth Rag" has hit the spotlight after sensationally admitting that it to has been employing professional phone hacke...

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Funny story: Flying Ants - Helpful Tips And Money Saving Solutions With Martin Shuttlecock

Flying Ants - Helpful Tips And Money Saving Solutions With Martin Shuttlecock

Flying ants eh? What do you do with them? Good question. On the face of it, flying ants are fucking useless. But are they? We sent Skoob Magazine's very own Martin Shuttlecock out to investigate. He unearthed the following facts down the pub: * The best way to deal with them, is to stamp on them, or hit the fuckers with a rolled up newspaper. *If there are literally millions of the bug...

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Funny story: "Rihanna, Gaga, J-Lo, Beyonce Can't Sing For Sh*t Compared to Millie Jackson" Says Outspoken Local Man

"Rihanna, Gaga, J-Lo, Beyonce Can't Sing For Sh*t Compared to Millie Jackson" Says Outspoken Local Man

Local man, part time satirist and full time waster, Martin Shuttlecock, who according to his schoolteachers "would never amount to anything much" came out with this amazing statement as he took a break from digging out a subterranean ten room extensi...

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Funny story: Local Man Declines Sausage Flavoured Lager

Local Man Declines Sausage Flavoured Lager

Local man Martin Shuttlecock, in an uncharacteristic fit of adventurousness, travelled to the posher suburbs of London, somewhere near, or even in Kent, apparently for a family double-Christening. The ceremony itself passed off without major incid...

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Funny story: Local Man To Sign Up As Spoof Writer Following Humungous Row

Local Man To Sign Up As Spoof Writer Following Humungous Row

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock today revealed that he plans to sign up for satirical website www.TheSpoof.whatever in order to write accounts of his own misfortunes, as opposed to letting his ex-friend Skoob write about his misadventures and garner al...

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Funny story: Long Suffering Wife Of Local Man Wakes Herself Up Snoring Ahead Of Haye v Klitschko Fight

Long Suffering Wife Of Local Man Wakes Herself Up Snoring Ahead Of Haye v Klitschko Fight

Local woman, Anne Shuttlecock, woke herself up tonight waiting for the David Haye v Wladimir Klitschko World Heavyweight Championship fight, which was being beamed live via satellite from Hamburg, Germany. Insiders say that Anne Shuttlecock fell i...

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