The League Of Onomasticon Propagation (LOOP) consisting of leading Linguistic Theoreticians and Academics issued a press release last Friday that was not published by any news service, due to an unfortunate and endless repetition of the Headline.
Ed Uca-shone offish shoals have two day banned spellling tests from skools after pew pills found them dissed dressing. A resent report has outlined the facked that most chilled wren get sick bee four a test, Patrick U Lee bee four a spellling tes...
In what seems to be a bizarre attempt by him to appear more appealing to the English Public, Rafael Benitez has finally decided to learn the English language. The change in heart came after the Everton game whereby Benitez claimed to not understa...
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas,we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into ef...
A University professor has challenged the old adage that "the pen is mightier than the sword", and claimed that there may be hundreds of other such anomalies in the English language. Professor Harry Pedant, of Warwick, told anyone who would listen...
Definitions - "S" "Social Diarist" - over-egoed and seriously rich and seriously minor Celeb who obtains their own column in a prominent position within one of the high circulation newspapers. Quite obviously didn't get the job through either literary or journalistic talents - either daddy is extremely top-heavy wallet-wise, they know a thing or two about casting couches, they were slung out o...
Purists of the English language were left reeling today when the new cable tv programme 'Proverb Busters' concluded that cleanliness was not next to godliness.
Dallas TX, 11 July 2008: Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price is sticking to his June 2008 comments that the term "black hole," which a colleague used, is racist. Price also says language such as "angel food cake" and "...
The vast majority of Americans -- 83% according to a recent poll -- say that it's more important for immigrants to learn to...
Des Moines, IA - Senator Barack Obama, speaking before a crowd of veterans today, signalled a major change in his positions by referring to "a historical challenge" instead of his earlier phrase "an historical challenge". "This is a major turnarou...
Yesterday Mr Ivor Lingo the British Government Immigration Officer announced that all Immigrants either Legal or Illegal must be able to speak fluent English with a Brummie Accent within six weeks of arrival or be compulsory deported.
(Raliegh, NC) - Thanks to some sharp eyed grandchildren and one overly sensitive grandparent, the North Carolina DMV has decided to replace for free any license plate containing the letter combination "WTF." Told of this potentially $400,0...
Fabio Capello, the England football manager, now speaks English to a better standard than many native-born UK residents, according to me.
Verbs, those 'doing words' shunned by couch potatoes and politicians alike, have been rescued from extinction by the advent of the Nintendo Wii (or Wi-aye as they are known in Newcastle).
As from today, the Labour government has made British regional accents illegal. All speaking in silly dialects will be oot the windae, tha knaws, and if ya dinnae like it then it's a Weegie kiss from Glesgae, ya bam.
Racine, WI - In what appears to be a first since cell phone services began offering a 'texting' feature, a teenager has been found to have been sending messages composed of complete English words and sentences.
WASHINGTon, DC - According to an alarming report issued by the U.s. Department of Education Wenesday, allmost 25 percent of all Americans adults is illiterate, a five dekade high,...
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