President Donald Trump was reported by multiple staffers as having what can only be described as a "post watching The Notebook level of crying." After being told he could not pardon himself, the United States president threw himself on the floor.
Shiv Aalok, yes the former uber driver who found Trump's tax return in the back of his car and also solved the mystery behind "Q", has been hired by President Biden to be his chief butler. Aalok reports he was detoxifying the Oval Office with cloro…
BILLINGSGATE POST: In 1943, the movie Lassie Come Home was released by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. Starring Roddy McDowell and canine actor Pal, it was a story about a Yorkshire boy and his rough collie, Lassie. After her destitute family is forced to sel…
Despite the nonstop footage dedicated to the recent spectacle at the U.S. Capitol, there is much more to the story than we have been told. We should, by now, know at least two things about Donald Trump: The first, of course, is that he lacks a mora…
BILLINGSGATE POST: As if struck by a lightning bolt while on his porcelain throne, in a spirit of unbounded equanimity, unmatched since he pardoned Roger Stone, today President Trump announced his latest pardon list. Limiting it to those accused o…
BILLINGSGATE POST: EGAD FAP! After having his first choice for Secretary of Defense, General Lloyd J Austin III, dumped for being part of the feared Industrial-Military Complex, President-Elect Joe Biden nominated his second choice, Major Amos B Ho…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Who woulda thunk that someday your thoughts might be monitored? Faced with a divided nation of 75 million voters who prefer to eat pasta at the Olive Tree rather than the French Laundry, where elites like to gather to thwart COVID-…
(With apologies to Maurice Sendak) The year Ted went to Congress and made mischief of one kind and another, Ben Sasse called him "CHILD THING!" and Ted said "I’LL OVERTURN A DEMOCRATIC AND FAIR ELECTION!” So he stomped off to the Senate chamber to…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Daring to be different, Joe Biden defeated Donald Trump by presenting himself as a latter-day Andy Gump. Like Gump, he has an anterior mandible defect that creates the appearance of an absent chin and lower lip, along with a seve…
Breaking: A newly-emerged whistle-blower has broken open peculiarities at The White House for press coverage. Until now, it was not known that a group of scientists occupy a White House attic to record and measure events occurring throughout this…
BILLINGSGATE POST: President-elect Joe Bien has decided to dissolve the Secret Service and replace it with an Imperial Palace Eunuch Corps when he takes office. Biden quoted Han Fei Tzu, a revered Chinese Minister of State and man of letters who…
SECAUCUS, New Jersey - (Satire News) – Well, 2020 has definitely not been a good year for President Trump. First, he got his ass kicked in the presidential election by Joe Biden, and now he has just been informed that Goya Beans has fired him. Boo…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Even the horse flies won’t touch this one. Yesterday, Sleepy Joe, responding to a question concerning the investigation of his crooked son, Hunter, called the reporter “a one-horse pony.” That response, in itself, would not ind…
The job of most powerful crook in the world will no longer be held in doubt. The contest is to be decided by a WWE smackdown or "Presidential Grudge Match", as it is currently being advertised. Tickets for the fight are selling fast, and the UN is…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Snopes, the same group that verified that two Russian hookers peed on Donald Trump’s hotel bed, have now confirmed that the improbable story about Joe Biden having sex with three Chinese hookers while he was driving a forklift dow…
BILLINGSGATE POST: Haim Eshed, a former chief of the Israel Defense Ministry’s space directorate, says that extraterrestrials from a Galactic Federation have been in contact with him, that President Trump is aware of this, and was previously "on the…
BILLINGSGATE POST: If there were any doubt about who is the monkey and who is the organ grinder running the Democrat Party, this doubt was cast aside with the news that the president of George Soros’ Open Society Foundations, Patrick Gaspard, will r…
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