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Funny story: Study Reveals Jeans Do Not Make Asses Look Fat

Study Reveals Jeans Do Not Make Asses Look Fat

LOS ANGELES, CA - An ongoing UCLA study has recently unveiled results that may shock many. "Jeans do not make a woman's ass look fat," reported Dr. Mack Daday, "a woman's ass makes a woman's ass look fat, plain and simple." Some of the studen...

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Funny story: Meth Addicted Dentist Losing Clients As He Loses His Own Teeth

Meth Addicted Dentist Losing Clients As He Loses His Own Teeth

COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA - "It's not like I don't do quality work," states Dr. Ernest Spunn, "I have been making my living on quality AND quantity. I have been moving through people in sheer volume, especially when I'm tweaking! Root canals, extractions,...

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Funny story: Woman Breastfeeds Wild Donkey Back To Health

Woman Breastfeeds Wild Donkey Back To Health

In Mississippi, where wild donkeys are often seen walking the landscape in search of rough scrub and brush foliage, a woman found a young malnourished foal in need of attention. "I saw the little guy limping in my back yard and cried for the poor...

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Funny story: NHS Patients To Be Treated In India

NHS Patients To Be Treated In India

Cash strapped NHS trusts have announced plans to outsource patient care to the Indian city of Mumbai Supporters of the plans argue that the level of care afforded to patients will be significantly superior to the UK. Chief Medical Officer, Anna St...

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Funny story: How you feeling?

How you feeling?

"How ya feeling?" Don't ever ask a person over the age of sixty-five this question! There was a cartoon in the New Yorker magazine circa 1950's. It showed this very bedraggled couple of undetermined age in a dirty pot filled kitchen with the plaster falling off the walls. He was un-shaven, clothes disheveled, and his mouth slack. She was in a house dress with unkempt hair and yellowed teeth.

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Funny story: United Healthcare to buy Philip Morris

United Healthcare to buy Philip Morris

MINNETONKA, MN - UnitedHealth Group, Inc. President and CEO, Stephen J. Hemsley announced today that UnitedHealth Group will purchase Philip Morris USA Inc., an Altria company for $674,986,685,999,324.67. "UnitedHealth Group is the largest healthc...

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Funny story: Weigh To Go - Government To Tone Down Fat Kids Message

Weigh To Go - Government To Tone Down Fat Kids Message

New NHS guidelines for tackling childhood obesity have been unveiled. The measures are to be introduced with immediate effect. It will now be a criminal offence for dieticians to write to parents to advise their child may be "fat", "obese" or a "s...

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Funny story: New Diet Involves Counting

New Diet Involves Counting

We've been told to count calories if we want to control our weight. But now we need to do even more counting, according to a new weight control strategy recommended by the specialist counting agency Counts 'R'Us. They say that if we expend exactly...

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Funny story: Self-Cleaning ovens linked to stomach disorders

Self-Cleaning ovens linked to stomach disorders

The FDA released a report that had been compiled by FDA Research Assistant J. Herman Petersilge of Iona, New York, which offers a scenario where self cleaning ovens are a cause of stomach disorders. "It was right there in front of us all the time,...

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Funny story: New Exercise Sensation

New Exercise Sensation

A new exercise, thought to have been developed by followers of Genghis Khan, has been causing great excitement on the internet. As illustrated by a follower of the new fashion, Scatthi Scactum, it consists of the practitioner holding the neck of t...

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Funny story: Rohypnol one of your five-a-day claims offender

Rohypnol one of your five-a-day claims offender

Drink-spiking drug and racoon laxative, Rohypnol, actually counts as one of your five-a-day according to sometimes sex offender, Gavin McCloroform. Gavin, a thirty-eight-year-old dietician from Cardiff, claims the drug is misunderstood and with t...

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Funny story: Mayo Clinic Poll: Thirty-seven percent of Americans have Shit for Brains!

Mayo Clinic Poll: Thirty-seven percent of Americans have Shit for Brains!

A new poll released by Mayo Clinic this morning reveals that thirty-seven percent of the adult US population has Shit for Brains! In an unprecedented move Fox News and MSNBC News are claiming that the poll is biased, provocative, and blasphemous. The...

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Funny story: New White House Study Links Guns and Obesity

New White House Study Links Guns and Obesity

President Obama disclosed today, in a speech made in Yuma, Arizona before a group of culinary students at the Taco Institute of America, that recent studies on obesity, have directly contributed obesity to gun use in our country. "When a person has a...

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Funny story: Man Contracts Virus From His Computer

Man Contracts Virus From His Computer

Manny Horkle's wife Bunny said she first noticed a problem when Manny suddenly stopped functioning while the couple was taking an evening walk. "We were walking along and, all of a sudden, he just froze and his left eye began twitching rapidly,"...

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Funny story: Man Takes Every Medication Advertised on the Evening News

Man Takes Every Medication Advertised on the Evening News

Wink Packard spends most of his time watching television, particularly news programs. But it's not the news he tunes in for, it's the pharmaceutical commercials. "I really like the drug commercials," he said, adding that he tries out each one of th...

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Funny story: Doctors Mystified by Baby Born With Phillips-Head Butt Crack

Doctors Mystified by Baby Born With Phillips-Head Butt Crack

Doctors in the small town of Flooters Bend have announced that a baby with a Phillips head butt crack was born in a local hospital yesterday, a never-before seen occurrence. "It's unique, alright," said Dr. Lionel Shizzmer, the doctor who delivered...

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Funny story: Plan To Perform Physical Exams Via Skype Criticized

Plan To Perform Physical Exams Via Skype Criticized

Health experts say an Obama administration plan requiring patients to undergo routine physical examinations via Skype is drawing objections from the public. The proposal is part of the administration's controversial healthcare plan and White Hou...

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