LA BREA - Paris and her mom were having breakfast at the world famous La Brea Tar Pits Diner when she overheard someone in the next table mention the word lesbian. Paris put down her chorizo and egg breakfast taco and asked the woman if she was ta...
WASHINGTON, DC -- President Barack Obama has recommended adding dog meat to America's school lunch menus and military chow halls. As a child, the president was force-fed Dalmatian steaks that his Indonesian step-and-fetchit transsexual "father" La...
NORFOLK, Virginia - The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have gone to Congress to state their case regarding the wanton ingesting of animal crackers throughout America. PETA's Executive Director Mimosa Ledbetter told the news media that...
RIDGECREST, California - A spokesperson for Taco Bell wants all of its patrons to know that the infamous Taco Licker, who licked 30 taco shells, has been fired and customers can once again feel comfortable and enjoy their tacos knowing that they have...
SAN FRANCISCO - Kristen Stewart flew up to San Francisco to get away from the LaLaLand rumor mills. She recently had an incident where she shoved a reporter for the supermarket tabloid Say What? According to the police report Kristen was shoppi...
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Kanye West and his baby mama Kim Kardashian recently had a nice dinner at The Le Loins of Joan of Arc French Restaurant in West Hollywood. As the two feasted on a broccoli and duck gizzard croissant appetizer Kanye was overheard...
BEVERLY HILLS - Kanye West returned to the states after spending weeks overseas in France. West said that he had gone to The Land of Ooh La La to get some inspiration for an upcoming album. Many U.S. music critics wondered why Kanye could not h...
Gerald Reisenback, once the Production Coordinator at the Hostess Bakery Plant in Hot Springs, Arkansas, revealed during an employment interview with Homeland Security in Washington, D.C. that since the last HoHo was produced in the plant his life ha...
LOS ANGELES - Kirstie Alley has said that if she ever sees Khloe Kardashian on the streets of L.A. she may just end up putting a bit of a hurt on the Kardashian diva. Alley is reportedly furious that Khloe who is the host of the Nourishment Networ...
MARINA DEL REY - Former Nickelodeon star and the latest celebrity train wreck to come out of Tinsel Town, Amanda Bynes was spotted at The Vicious Guppy Seafood Diner where she was literally attacking her Lobster meal with a fork and Ginsu knife. T...
Donor kebab has said it is tired of being a late-night booty call and wants men to admit to their relationship when sober and not only after consuming twenty-five Jaeger-bombs and enough ketamine to knock out a small bear. The statement came after...
Chaos reigned on Vatican City last night after The Pope used a televised interview in which he was supposed to be confronting the Catholic Church sex abuse scandal to passionately condemn pesto. When asked how he intended to rebuild The Church an...
Many nutritionists have known that the day would come when sweetcorn was eventually removed from the Official Food List. "It has the nutritional value of a plastic carrier bag," said Gillian McKeef, nutritionist to the stars. "I'd rather eat rabbi...
Millions of people were shocked and saddened today after the remains of Mr. Potatohead, who had been reported missing three weeks ago by his family, were found in a plate of hashbrown potatoes at an Iowa Denny's restaurant. "The customer noticed...
New York City mayor Ed Koch announced Thursday that the city will be hosting a race of space aliens that have landed in New York City's Central Park. Koch returned from the dead as a zombie when the aliens discarded green toilet water in the grav...
A Japanese scientist has developed the worlds first food group made from human excrement. Mitsuyuki Ikeda, a researcher from the Okayama Laboratory, found that sewage mud has a lot of protein in it, beef has a lot of protein in it so why not comb...
NEW YORK CITY - Mayor Bloomberg has just announced that he is now turning his attention to the all-American food item known as the hot dog. The mayor of the world's largest city is still reeling from having his Big Gulp directive overturned by a N...
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