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Funny story: We Remember Them - Gorm Grimly

We Remember Them - Gorm Grimly

Story told by Gorm's best chum Wombleworry Worters. It was always great to see old Gorm laughing at things with a tank-full of gigolos, and then gnawing on them should they respond in kind. I am sure he didn't hardly realise how truly loved he was by his fellow inmates, everyday we'd give him a caring clout and a timely trip whenever he truly got too big for his booters. Yes, everyone really fe...

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Funny story: Illegal trade in human organs set to boom after Welsh donor card 'opt out' approved

Illegal trade in human organs set to boom after Welsh donor card 'opt out' approved

The illegal trade in human organs is reportedly set to boom after it was confirmed Welsh families would have no legal right to stop dead relatives' organs being used for transplant if the person had not opted out in advance. Traders in the highly...

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Funny story: Andy Rooney Writes His Own Obituary

Andy Rooney Writes His Own Obituary

Andy Rooney was found dead in his office yesterday sitting in front of his keyboard. Rooney 92 was best known for his down home observations on the long running news magazine 60 Minutes. Rooney had retired about a month ago so it seems he saw the han...

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Funny story: Ode's to Famous Dead People: Book 3

Ode's to Famous Dead People: Book 3

Seve Balleisteros: You've played your last eighteen. Strolled your last green. If there is a golf course in heaven. Will you use the number seven. By Arnold Mitercrump. Florida Osama Bin Laden: You ugly bearded bastard. Copt it from the Yanks. Did you hear the missile. Before it hit you on the head. By Col. Percy Pummel. Saffron Waldon Dom DeLuise: You mad...

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Funny story: Odes to famous dead people: Book 2

Odes to famous dead people: Book 2

Pete Postlethwaite: You were a highly studied actor. your films were very good. I wish you had won an oscar. Your photo is on my Nans shelf. By Oswald Gentry. Glasgow Patriarch Alexy 11: You gave some nice sermons. People listened when you spoke. Now that you are in heaven. Do you still have the long coat? By Yuri Barbetov. Moscow Joan Of Arc: As a young girl. Yo...

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Funny story: Odes to Famous Dead People: Book 1

Odes to Famous Dead People: Book 1

Jimmy Saville: You have smoked your last cigar Jimmy. It's time to leave the disco floor. The marathon ends in heaven. You won't have to knock on the door. By Mrs Futtle Ferang. Hampshire Betty Driver: You have cooked your last hotpot Betty. It is time to leave the pub. No more pints to pull. Jesus is waiting for you. He has kept you your own bar stool. By Mr Fred Futtle.

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Funny story: Police make a gruesome discovery in a Dorking house

Police make a gruesome discovery in a Dorking house

Police were horrified to make a gruesome discovery in an ordinary terraced house in central Dorking yesterday at the home of mortician Tom Cadaver. "We were alerted by a neighbour," said detective inspector Henry Hoover. "He took a parcel for Cada...

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Funny story: God apologizes for massive loss of life

God apologizes for massive loss of life

In an emotional interview, God, the Supreme Ruler of the universe, has tearfully apologized for the massive loss of life that occurred on his watch during the last ten years. Earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes and terrorist attacks have claimed hun...

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Funny story: World's Tallest Dwarf Dies Aged 28

World's Tallest Dwarf Dies Aged 28

Clarke B Dingwall, the worlds tallest recorded dwarf, died last night in a tragic accident. Dingwall, 28, was last recorded at a height of 6'3", making him easily the tallest dwarf in the world, the next closest being Samuel N'gbab of Nigeria at a...

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Funny story: Spoiler Alert: East Enders Christmas Plot Revealed In Full: Pat's Death A Certainty

Spoiler Alert: East Enders Christmas Plot Revealed In Full: Pat's Death A Certainty

BBC bosses are said to be furious that a source in their headquarters has leaked the plans for the Christmas plot run of EastEnders. But their annoyance won't stop me from publishing a massive spolier for fans of the show. It was revealed that...

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Funny story: World's Unluckiest Man Killed By Falling Satellite

World's Unluckiest Man Killed By Falling Satellite

Ned Tremble, the world's unluckiest man, was sadly killed yesterday by a falling satellite, in what appeared to be the final insult to a life of hardship. Tremble achieved official 'unluckiest' status four years ago, after a string of mishaps, unf...

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Funny story: Doctor's Recommendations

Doctor's Recommendations

This is a sequel to the news presentation which was reported in the previous week's bulletin, titled: "Expert Warns of Risk of Death." For the information of readers who may have missed the previous column, the presentation was given by Lafra Dablawala, PhD (Bakwas Institute, Dodogoro, LOK) who authored the article published in the prestigious "Ghanta Journal of Medicine." After discussing t...

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Funny story: Expert Warns of Risk of Death

Expert Warns of Risk of Death

The following are excerpts from a news presentation given by the distinguished authority on Health and Medicine, Lafra Dablawala, PhD, of the Research Dept. of Bakwas Institute, one of the world's leading medical universities. In a special report, the full details of which can be read in "The Ghanta Journal of Medicine," titled: "Death: Who Is At Risk?" the doctor says that results prove concl...

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Funny story: Body-in-the-bag syndrome rears its ugly in Lewisham

Body-in-the-bag syndrome rears its ugly in Lewisham

London - An MI6 codebreaker's copycat RIP fears have surfaced again with the grim discovery in some South London bushes. The find comes exactly one year after cryptographer Gareth Williams' unexplained death in a security service 'serviced' Pimlic...

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Funny story: For Amy Winehouse

For Amy Winehouse

I'd never heard your name before Until I came to The Spoof I feel it's sad that some writers use Your 'story' so, when they don't know the truth. I know I may be guilty now Of seemingly doing the same But why should writers say cruel things For points using your name? I can't stay shtum. That's sad to say I feel that this is wrong My daughter told me of your wonderful voice Sorry I...

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Funny story: Amy Winehouse Found Dead In North London Flat

Amy Winehouse Found Dead In North London Flat

Unconfirmed reports are filtering through that 27 year old diva, Amy Winehouse has been found dead in her North London flat. The Back To Black singer had a history of drug and alcohol problems. Amy had a fantastic future ahead of her, but she lived the punk dream and blew it. It was a tragic end for a potentially brilliant artiste; Rehab, and Valerie, becoming R&B classics, but drugs and...

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Funny story: Women that don't use treadmills more likely to die

Women that don't use treadmills more likely to die

A new Study shows women that don't use Treadmill's are more likely to get kidnapped or killed. The study revealed that women who stayed inside their own homes to work out and use their treadmills were 80% less likely to be kidnapped, beaten and/o...

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