WASHINGTON, DC - Fresh off his healthcare "victory", Harry Reid announced today that he will introduce legislation next week that will mandate that all homeowners subscribe to the American Lawn Care Program (ALCP). In a press conference this after...
Congressman Gerald Hakken was found yesterday to be not guilty of roughly 7% of the ethics violations he has been accused of. "This is a great day" exclaimed Hakken. "I told them I didn't actually take a few of those bribes, now America knows the...
West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd, 92, was discovered dead in his Senate seat yesterday, explaining his recent string of abstentions when votes were taken but leaving open the age-old question of precisely how to determine a dead Senator from a live one...
WASHINGTON, D.C.-Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV), former President pro tem of the Senate, and the longest-serving Congressman to have been a member of the universally-despised Ku Klux Klan, died Monday at Inova Fairfax Hospital after a long battle with il...
Have you written to your Congressperson or Senator lately about pertinent issues such as healthcare reform, energy legislation, tax credits, illegal Immigration, out of control spending, the economy, the national debt, the BP oil spill or Michelle's garden? Then to only receive an inane response, written by a legislative aide, such as follows. Dear Congressperson Doofos: I do not believe that t...
WASHINGTON (May 24) -- Congress may vote as early as Thursday to repeal the military's "don't ask, don't tell" law on gays, but when asked questions by White House reporters, Defense Secretary Robert Gates, who has a proud chin, carved by the winds o...
President Barack Obama, in an unprecedented move, has announced plans to dissolve the Senate and the House of Representatives. The movement has already been upheld by the U.S. Supreme Court, whose vote to support the measure was unanimous considering the guns put to their heads. Said Obama in a news conference in the White House Briefing Room, "The American People have spoken. We need to stay...
Befuddled by real problems requiring leadership and real answers, the US Congress put off facing tough choices once again, and has devoted it's time to working on a "Potty Parity" bill to bring Women's Rest Rooms up to Men's Standards! The pressin...
In an unprecedented move the US Congress passed a uniform bicameral law that is waiting for President Obamas' signature. House Bill 14288 and Senate Bill 2 match each other in verbiage, as the respective bodies want this legislation passed pronto.
From his temporary Oval Office platform the venerated former General and Secretary of State Colin Powell announced that his takeover of the Country has been effortless and that the elimination of 'business as usual' resulted in a five hundred billion...
Following the tumultuous celebration in the White House commemorating America's entrance into the Third World, White House leaders pointed out another of their achievements by feting impeached Federal Judge Alcee Hastings as "Come Back Player of th...
WASHINGTON, DC - "Whereas sex is fundamental to the maintenance of the national citizenry of these United States of America, this bill hereby establishes Federal measures to ensure the right of sex to every citizen and resident of the territory gover...
This reporter has learned from a reliable top official in the Obama administration that the executive branch of government is secretly planning the move of Washington D.C. to a small town in Nebraska. The move will keep the majority of personne...
As the nations capitol was rocked by the news of the behavior of Congressman Eric Massa (D-N.Y., a Democratic Congressman has proposed a bill that would duplicate the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law for members of the US Congress. A Democr...
Hundreds of prostitutes and Madams from around the country met In Washington D.C. this week. It was a diverse crowd of all ages, colors, creeds, and sexual orientation. A spokesperson, Ms. Shana Williams, a Vassar graduate with advanced degrees from...
WASHINGTON-In a landmark decision, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. This scheme will be known as RAPE (*Retire Aged People Ea...
Washington, DC: House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, met with the press and Congressional leaders today to discuss replacing the 2010 mid-term election cycle with a "psychic estimate" of the voters' true intent. "There are just so many distractions and in...
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