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Funny satire stories about Cheryl Cole

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Funny story: Cheryl Cole Unable to Talk: God says, "Pwned!"

Cheryl Cole Unable to Talk: God says, "Pwned!"

Some English girl, who apparently had more #1 hits than the Beatles while in the band "Spice Girls 2.0" may never be able to speak again, after contracting malaria through a surgical scar in her most-recent nose, while trying to infect the citizery o...

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Funny story: Cheryl Cole Voice Fears Unfounded

Cheryl Cole Voice Fears Unfounded

Reports that Cheryl Cole's voice may have been permanently affected in a detrimental way by her recent malaria ordeal have been rubbished by music critics. The star contracted the tropical disease whilst on holiday in Tanzania with Dancing Derek H...

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Funny story: Cheryl Is Gagging For It!

Cheryl Is Gagging For It!

Cheryl Tweedy - Cole, depending on your preference - is currently reported to be absolutely "gagging for it" after being hammered down to within an inch of her precious life by the evil tropical malaria sickness. Thing. Wor Cheryl, the feisty Geor...

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Funny story: Cheryl Cole Pregnancy Test Confirmed

Cheryl Cole Pregnancy Test Confirmed

It's been confirmed in the last hour that Cheryl Cole, the X-Factor judge, who contracted malaria after she was bitten by a mosquito whilst on Safari in Tanzania recently, has had a pregnancy test. It proved 'negative'. Cole, 27, had taken the...

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Funny story: Liverpool Sign Joe Cole - Cheryl In Talks

Liverpool Sign Joe Cole - Cheryl In Talks

Liverpool boss Roy Hodgson completed his first signing in what is being looked upon as an extensive restructuring programme, when he secured a four year contract for out of contract midfielder Joe Cole. Insiders say that the new kop boss has set h...

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Funny story: Cheryl Cole's Hair Has Fallen Out

Cheryl Cole's Hair Has Fallen Out

Cheryl Cole might have thought she had been through a lot lately, but the bout of malaria she contracted during her African Safari paled into insignificance yesterday, after her hair fell out. Cole, who was in Tanzania when she was bitten by a mal...

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Funny story: Cheryl Tweedy (Cole) To Recuperate From Malaria With Tanzania Convalescence

Cheryl Tweedy (Cole) To Recuperate From Malaria With Tanzania Convalescence

Insiders have just revealed that Cheryl Cole (Tweedy) is all set to jet off to Tanzania once she has sufficiently recovered from malaria, for a short convalescence period. Simon Cowell is reported to be furious that Chezza has derelicted (sic) her...

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Funny story: Cheryl Cole - past love revealed as Raoul Moat

Cheryl Cole - past love revealed as Raoul Moat

Geordie lass turned good, Cheryl Cole has been revealed as a former partner of madman Raoul Moat. Information from an exclusive source has confirmed that reports of her recent "illness" due to "malaria" was a rouse to protect her from the madmans mu...

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Funny story: Simon Cowell Says: "Goodbye Cheryl Cole, Hello Jordan"?

Simon Cowell Says: "Goodbye Cheryl Cole, Hello Jordan"?

Polyfilla-pumped glamour-girl Jordan whose man-made mammaries have wowed and KO'd UK wankers for donkey's years, is a fearsome piece of made-in-a-fame-factory kit indeed, writes Bernie Bovine, Shit-Shovelling Correspondent. Jordan, who is also kno...

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Funny story: Cheryl Cole's bedsores 'weeping like stigmata'

Cheryl Cole's bedsores 'weeping like stigmata'

London - (Ass Mess): Holed up in the Royal Freak Hospital's Dildo - er...Lindo! - Wing the Girls Aloud singer has stunned medical science. Some of her pustulating bed sores erupted last night staining the sterilised hosptial sheeting with a myste...

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Funny story: Cheryl Cole Million Seller

Cheryl Cole Million Seller

It seems that while she languishes in her £3,000 per hour private hospital bed fighting off a bad attack of 'Hough Malaria' Cheryl Tweedy keeps drifting in and out of conciousness. During these restless periods she has been heard to moan erotically,...

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Funny story: Cheryl Tweedy Getting Better

Cheryl Tweedy Getting Better

Doctors are pleased to announce that Cheryl is making a speedy recovery. She started talkng a load of old bolox in the early hours of the morning. At one time, during the day, Doctors thought they might lose her when she started talking about Quan...

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Funny story: Cheryl Tweedy getting worse

Cheryl Tweedy getting worse

Cheryl Tweedy was making a speedy recovery from Malaria. She was sitting up talking her usual inane bolox when suddenly, she started to talk about Quantum Physics. Doctors rushed to her bedside and began slapping her face as hard as they could in...

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Funny story: The Tanzanian Mosquito Which Bit Cheryl Cole Giving Her Malaria Has Been Found and Squashed

The Tanzanian Mosquito Which Bit Cheryl Cole Giving Her Malaria Has Been Found and Squashed

LONDON - Derek Hough, boyfriend of Cheryl Cole, gave her a bit of good news when he informed her in her hospital room that he has been told by the government of Tanzania that the mosquito which stung Ms. Cole has been found and squashed by a leader o...

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Funny story: Jedward Apologizes To Cheryl Cole!

Jedward Apologizes To Cheryl Cole!

After joking that if Cheryl Cole died, she would have a big funeral, Edward Grimes apologized before a group of reporters today. "I simply blabbed something that came into my head. That was stupid", stated Edward Grimes. "I apologize for saying su...

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Funny story: Media softsoaping Britain ahead of Cheryl Cole RIP?

Media softsoaping Britain ahead of Cheryl Cole RIP?

London - (Quinine News): Reptops are preparing the nation for the very worst. Worse than Germany 4 England 1. More excruciating than Nadal 6-4 7-6 6-4 against Murray. But... way more telegenic than some daftass Spain-fellating psychic octopus!...

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Funny story: Nick Robinson in Ashley Cole love triangle mystery

Nick Robinson in Ashley Cole love triangle mystery

Sharp eyed reporter Nick Robinson has shrugged off reports that he is comforting media star Cheryl Cole in her recovery from malaria. Flicking an ant away that had descended to within 5 metres of Mr Robinson's aunt, who was in turn 10 metres away...

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