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Funny satire stories about Chelsea FC

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Funny story: Trashley Cole In New 'Roasting' Scandal

Trashley Cole In New 'Roasting' Scandal

The world's most loathed footballer, Trashley Cole, has been named in amazing new 'roasting' revelations by a former friend, I can exclusively reveal. Cole, who is even loathed by Chelsea fans, sparked the latest controversy at a time when wife, C...

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Funny story: Drog's Ballacks

Drog's Ballacks

Drogba is Ballack. Ballack is Drogba. One is a white German. The other is a black African. Both can play football a bit when they set their minds to it. Both are sore losers. Both are possessed of temperaments of fire. And that's not all they have...

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Funny story: Graham Poll Carted Off To Nuthouse

Graham Poll Carted Off To Nuthouse

News just in from FA headquarters is that former Premier League referee, Graham Poll, has been apprehended and taken to a secure psychiatric unit after a bizarre statement he made regarding Tuesday night's Champions League match between Arsenal and M...

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Funny story: Didier Drogba To Become A Ref

Didier Drogba To Become A Ref

Didier Drogba, Chelsea's Ivory Coast striker, was last night so incensed by the "disgraceful performance" of Norwegian referee, Tom Henning Ovrebo, in the Champions League semi-final second leg against Barcelona, that he has decided to give up playin...

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Funny story: Chelsea blow chance to lose in Champions League final

Chelsea blow chance to lose in Champions League final

Devastated Chelsea were left weeping last night as they managed to throw away a place in the final of the Champion's League. Chelsea who were fully expecting to lose to Manchester United if they made it to the final given the air of inevitability...

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Funny story: Chelsea Hammer Barcelona

Chelsea Hammer Barcelona

There were celebrations at Stamford Bridge tonight, as unfancied Chelsea hammered their Champions League semi-final opponents, Barcelona, 1-0 to set up a repeat of last year's final with Manchester United in Rome on 27 May. Chelsea had drawn 0-0 w...

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Funny story: Barcelona Squad Under Police Surveillance

Barcelona Squad Under Police Surveillance

The Metropolitan Police announced this morning that the entire Barcelona delegation, currently staying in London ahead of tonight's Champions League semi-final showdown with Chelsea, has been put under extensive surveillance in the interests of Briti...

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Funny story: Chelsea Win 0-0 At Barcelona

Chelsea Win 0-0 At Barcelona

It was a great night for English football in the Nou Camp Stadium as London's finest, Chelsea, emerged victorious from their Champions League battle with Barcelona with a famous 0-0 win over the Catalan superstars. The game had been billed as one...

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Funny story: Lampard And Terry In Barcelona Airport Race Row

Lampard And Terry In Barcelona Airport Race Row

Controversy erupted here at Barcelona Airport as Chelsea footballers en route to their CL semi-final tie at the Nou Camp made allegations of racist abuse against fans of the Catalan giants. A spokesman for the Guardia Civil told us: "Allegation...

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Funny story: Chelsea Call In The Receivers Sensation!

Chelsea Call In The Receivers Sensation!

London, West - In an astonishing turn of events here this afternoon, Chelsea Football Club have called in the receivers in a move which will reach far beyond the worlds of sport and football. City analysts report that losses sustained by owner Rom...

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Funny story: LBC Radio Presenter James O'Brien Is A Bit Of A Knob

LBC Radio Presenter James O'Brien Is A Bit Of A Knob

London radio presenter, James O'Brien, got into hot water when he started slagging-off Chelsea and England footballer Frank Lampard on his programme today. O'Brien took calls on his LBC phone-in show about Lampard, and about how the player has spl...

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Funny story: Elvis Costello Signs For Chelsea Shocker

Elvis Costello Signs For Chelsea Shocker

Chelsea FC caretaker boss Guus Hiddinck today unveiled his latest signing as none other than Declan MacManus, aka Elvis Costello, who once released a record, way back when, entitled: 'I Don't Want To Go To Chelsea.' Costello, who also sang about O...

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Funny story: Liverpool awarded 2009 Champions League Cup!

Liverpool awarded 2009 Champions League Cup!

In a sensational and unprecedented move last night UEFA announced that they have decided to award Liverpool this year's Champions League. Speaking after Liverpool's heroic and tragic 7-5 aggregate defeat to Chelsea, UEFA President Michel Platini s...

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Funny story: Rafa Benitez sacrificed 4 wolves during Chelsea Match

Rafa Benitez sacrificed 4 wolves during Chelsea Match

Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez, notably missing from the large parts of the high scoring Champions League match against Chelsea, revealed the reasons for his behaivour after the match. It seems that Rafa has recently turned to the ancient Aztec tr...

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Funny story: No Comment

No Comment

Merseyside - Last night. It looked like business as usual for the red half of Merseyside when Fernando Torres put Liverpool ahead after six minutes in the Champions League quarter final first leg. Liverpool, who have recently been kidding themselv...

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Funny story: Chelsea to rely on quiz show for trophy

Chelsea to rely on quiz show for trophy

Following the leak of recent IQ test results at Chelsea FC, the BBC is to launch a new footballer's version of "University Challenge". "The aim of the show is to prove that footballers are not just overpaid, thick b******s and the public are getting...

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Funny story: George Cole Arrested In Ashley Cole Mix-up

George Cole Arrested In Ashley Cole Mix-up

There was trouble in west London in the early hours of this morning, when a man answering the description of 'Cole' was arrested after an incident in a bar in South Kensington. George Cole, 83, was apprehended by officers from the Metropolitan pol...

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